


Did I Say That Out Loud?

by Ultra



Series: Did I Say That Out Loud? [1]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Apologies, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Love, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2019-05-25 15:05:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 65,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14979728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: Rory is delayed in getting home for the weekend of the Firelight Festival, and Luke is being even more stubborn than usual, leaving Lorelai with a big decision - does she really hate Jess enough to let him freeze to death in his car? The choice she makes could change everything.





	1. Chapter 1

Lorelai hated making decisions. More specifically, she hated making decisions alone. On this occasion she really didn’t have a choice. There were no objective persons to turn to for advice, not this late at night, not when the decision she must make involved a person that had hurt just about everybody in her life that really, really mattered.

“Ugh! I hate this!” she growled to herself, as she hovered in the middle of the street in the dark and freezing cold.

Luke was being impossible. It wasn’t that she didn’t get why he was feeling a little less than eager to be helpful right now. Lorelai thought she had family issues, but between his sister and his nephew, Luke was not having a good time of it. He should care that Jess might freeze to death in the back of his junk-pile car tonight. On some level Lorelai knew that Luke did care, but it might take a little too long for his conscience to kick in after the day he’d had.

That left Lorelai here, between a rock and a hard place. She could walk away, pretend she didn’t see Jess, that she didn’t pretty much tell Luke to take the kid in already. Of course, she could also wake up in the morning to the news that there was a Mariano popsicle found in the street, and though he was the biggest pain in her ass in a very long time, Lorelai knew there would be guilt. For all that Rory made pretend she was over Jess, she sure would be hurt by his death.

“I must be crazier than people say,” she muttered, striding over to the car before she changed her mind.

Lorelai raised her arm and pounded her fist as hard as she dare on the window three times. Jess shifted on the back seat but made no moves to respond to her knocking, so Lorelai pounded another three times. Jess sat up sharply then, eyes widening like a cartoon when he realised who was there. He wound the window down, practically snarling.

“I’ll be gone tomorrow!” he told Lorelai sharply. “Leave me alone.”

“No.” She shook her head, pushing her hand in through the window before he had a chance to close it. “Get out of the car, Jess!” she commanded.

He didn’t budge.

“Why? So you can yell at me in colder conditions?” he asked. “Leave me alone, Lorelai.”

“No,” she repeated, leaning in to unlatch the door and pulling it wide open. “I’m going to say this exactly one time, so listen up. I don’t like you, I never really have all that much, even when I was trying to, but I’m sure as hell not going to be the reason that you freeze to death in this heap you call a car. Now get the hell out and follow me.”

She half expected him to ignore her. Stern mom voice didn’t work with everybody, and Lorelai knew from experience that pretty much nothing worked with Jess. Still, she was offering him a choice between her company or hypothermia. There was a vague chance she would win over a possible life-threatening situation, but where Mariano was concerned, she couldn’t be absolutely certain. 

Lorelai was a good few feet from the car on her way home when she heard the door close, still not knowing whether Jess had done that from the inside or outside of the vehicle. Only when his footfalls made noise behind her did she know he was following. He fell into step beside her, and Lorelai bit back a half smile as soon as she felt it coming.

“So, you’re not completely stupid,” she considered, glancing his way.

“I don’t think that’s what this proves,” he replied, pulling the zipper on his jacket higher.

Lorelai got a good look at him then, too pale, dishevelled, thinner in the face than she remembered. The kid was having it rough, that was for sure. He probably deserved it, after all, he chose to screw up and run. Still, there was a pang somewhere in Lorelai’s heart. She knew what it was to strike out on your own and struggle. To be too stubborn to accept help even when you were desperate. She knew all of this a little too well in fact.

“Nice hat,” she told him, with a smirk she couldn’t help.

“Thanks,” he replied, rolling his eyes.

From there they walked in silence, all the way to Lorelai’s home. At the Crap Shack, she led the way up onto the porch and unlocked the door, stepping inside. Jess hovered outside until Lorelai eventually noticed and turned back.

“Are you coming in or what?” she asked sharply. “Because all you’re achieving there is letting more of the cold air into my house.”

It took another beat or two of his looking around cautiously, like maybe he was about to bolt, before the penny dropped with Lorelai. She bit back a remark about Jess’ need to run away, because now wasn’t the time. She was being the Good Samaritan here, for the benefit of people she loved, more than for Jess himself. The fact was she realised now that in spite of the seemingly nonchalant way he hurt Rory in the past, he was wary of seeing her. Lorelai wasn’t sure what that meant. All she really knew for sure was that conserving her heating bill was way more important at present.

“If you’re worried about Rory, she’s not here,” she told Jess. “Trust me, if she were, you wouldn’t be. Now, inside already!” she urged him.

Jess let out a breath as he moved quickly into the hall and watched Lorelai slam the door closed behind him. It was weird being back here. The house looked essentially the same as he remembered, but he was different, and Lorelai had to be too. A few months ago, Jess would lay money that his girlfriend’s mother wouldn’t have cared if he lived or died, probably preferring the latter. Rory wasn’t his girlfriend anymore, and Lorelai had every reason to hate him still, perhaps now more than ever.

“Why are you doing this?”

The question came out without Jess being sure if he had spoken the words aloud or only thought them. Lorelai’s reaction gave away the truth.

“Pretty sure I told you back there I was only saying it one time,” she said, not even turning around from hanging her coat on the hook. “You’re not a coffee drinker, right?” she called as she continued on to the kitchen, presuming Jess would follow. “’Cause I don’t know what else I have that’s hot. Maybe some tea, I think?”

Jess appeared in the doorway, removing his hat, as Lorelai reached into the top cupboard for the elusive tea bags.

“Tea’s good,” he nodded once. “Thanks,” he added as an afterthought, momentarily distracted by the door to Rory’s room.

She wasn’t here, probably at Yale, or so Jess assumed. Still, he couldn’t help the shiver of anticipation that went through him, like any second he expected that door to open and Rory to come walking out, smiling like sunshine, just like always. Maybe the shivering was just the cold, Jess told himself. He didn’t want to think any deeper right now.

Lorelai caught him staring at Rory’s door and bristled at the very thought of Jess coming face to face with her daughter. That wasn’t happening again. No way, no how. She didn’t even want him this close to that bedroom.

“Head for the couch,” she said a little more harshly than was really necessary. “Take a load off,” she added with a sugar sweet smile when he met her eyes.

One, almost imperceptible nod, and Jess did as he was told.

Lorelai busied herself with the tea for Jess and coffee for herself. She took a couple of deep breaths and tried to remember that she was doing the right thing. It wasn’t hard when her brain started listing the facts which fast outweighed her own negative feelings about Jess. He was alone in his car in thirty degree weather. Nobody cared enough to take him in, not even Luke. Maybe that was Jess’ own fault, but when all was said and done, the guy was just a kid. His parents didn’t care at all, his life had been a mess from what Luke said, from what Rory knew. Alone in the world, Lorelai knew that feeling. Some of that was her own fault, but others played their part. Maybe the same could be said for Jess. Sure, he messed up, but maybe he had reasons for being so screwed up in the head in the first place. The kind of emotional mess he was didn’t come from nothing and nowhere.

Picking up the two mugs from the counter, Lorelai headed for the living room. Jess was sitting on the edge of couch like he planned to get up and run any second. He moved his hat back and forth between his hands, dark eyes staring at nothing.

“Here,” said Lorelai, snapping him from his daze as she held out the tea for him to take.

“Thanks,” he said too softly as he accepted the mug and clamped both cold hands around it.

He really was frozen to the bone, probably more hungry than thirsty. Lorelai couldn’t see much of the guy who infuriated her so much before, who hurt Rory again and again. All she saw was a kid who was suffering. Any mother would feel the pull at her heart strings right now, Lorelai was sure on that. Getting up again, she fetched the nearest pack of cookies from the kitchen and tossed them into Jess’ lap without a word. He muttered another ‘thanks’ as he tore into them. Lorelai just sat down in the armchair and tried not to stare.

Four hastily eaten cookies later, Jess looked a little awkward as he glanced up at Lorelai and realised she was watching him. She sipped her coffee and looked the other way, then she spoke up again.

“For the record, I told Luke to take you in tonight,” she said, staring into her hot beverage. “Pretty sure he would’ve but... It’s been a weird day.”

“And getting weirder all the time,” said Jess, taking a long drink of tea.

“Amen to that.” Lorelai nodded once, practically saluting the sentiment with her mug.

Silence reigned for a minute more. Jess considered another cookie to sate the gnawing growl in his stomach, but then thought better of it. Some things were more important.

“I’m sorry, y’know?” he said, forcing himself to look at Lorelai.

He wasn’t entirely surprised to see anger flare in blue eyes that were too much like Rory’s own.

“For what?” she asked him crossly. “ For treating Luke like crap? For walking out on Rory without a goodbye? Because I’m not the person you need to be apologising to.”

“Actually, you are,” he cut in fast before she could draw breath and ramble on some more. “You remember the day I first came here?”

“Like I could forget,” Lorelai scoffed out a humourless laugh. “Your Breakfast Club audition was exemplary.”

Jess couldn’t help the smirk that pulled at his lips. 

“Still wish you had that big cream pie, huh?”

“I’m amazed you were listening well enough to remember that,” said Lorelai honestly, hiding her own hint of a smile in her coffee.

“I remember everything you said that day,” admitted Jess, flicking tiny crumbs off the edge of the coffee table just so there was something else to focus on. “The only reason you made me so damn mad was because I knew you were probably right. I just didn’t wanna admit it,” he confessed in some soft tone that Lorelai had never heard come out of his mouth before. “Coming here... it was the best thing that happened to me. Luke, Rory, all of it,” he admitted, shaking his head sadly. “It was better for me than where I was.”

“So, why screw it up?” asked Lorelai, unable to help herself.

Jess shrugged his leather clad shoulders and blew out a long breath.

“It’s what I do,” he admitted, leaning back into the couch cushions. “It’s what Liz does. Jimmy too, mostly.” He smirked again then. “What? You’re not gonna tell me it’s wrong to blame my parents for my mistakes?” he checked.

Lorelai smiled widely and shook her head.

“Oh, honey, I may be a hypocrite sometimes, but even I’m not gonna make that comment,” she told him, finishing off her coffee with a satisfied smack of her lips.

She got up and took the empty mug to the kitchen, returning via the closet with a pillow and blankets for Jess. He made no comment about the cutesy design on the covers he was being given. Even he wasn’t dumb enough to be so ungrateful in such a moment.

“So,” said Lorelai, dumping the blankets and pillow into his lap, “you can sleep here tonight, but you have to be gone first thing in the morning,” she told Jess. “Rory’s coming home-”

“I’ll be gone,” he promised, “from your house at least. Hopefully I’ll be out of town altogether this time tomorrow.”

Lorelai nodded that she understood and accepted the answer. “Probably for the best.”

“Probably,” he echoed.

“The couch is a little lumpy” she admitted then. “But it’s that or Rory’s room and-”

“Couch is fine,” he interrupted a second time, but Jess was pretty sure Lorelai wouldn’t care.

Neither of them wanted the conversation to veer into that territory. Jess had never been in Rory’s bed. The room, sure, but never the bed. Lorelai had to know that, given the way the Gilmore girls shared, but neither of them needed to be thinking about that right now, never mind talking about it.

“Okay.” Lorelai nodded once more and then headed for the stairs.

Jess unfurled the blankets, put the pillow on the arm of the couch and kicked off his boots. Getting comfortable here was going to be child’s play compared to the back seat of his car. Hell, this might actually be better than some of the other places he found himself in since his last trip to the Hollow. At least this one had four walls and a roof.

“Lorelai?” he called to her before she was completely out of sight. “Thanks,” he told her. “Seriously, thank you.”

She just barely smiled in response and then she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Rory couldn’t sleep. Mostly she blamed Paris for all the uncomfortable thoughts running through her head. It was so wrong the way her friend had behaved, dumping Jamie on his birthday, and all for the sake of Professor Fleming. It was so twisted to Rory that she could hardly stand it. She told Paris as much and really had considered coming home the night before just to get away. Trouble was, Lane had been in two minds about coming back to the Hollow and Rory gave her until this morning to make up her mind if she wanted to stay at Yale all weekend or head back with her friend. Maybe that situation was on Rory’s mind too. Whatever it was stopping her sleeping, she wasn’t in the best mood about it. Just as soon as the new day dawned, she was out of bed and preparing to head home. Maybe her own bed in her own home would assist in her getting some real rest, and talking things through with her mother was bound to help.

Mindful of the early hour, Rory came cautiously into the house. She didn’t want to wake Lorelai with a jump, that wouldn’t make her popular.

“Hello, house,” she said to herself, a genuine smile on her lips as she glanced around the entranceway.

Rory took her bag to her room and dumped it on the bed, then wandered through to the living room, heading for the stairs. She stopped short of her destination when she noticed the blankets on the couch and the figure hidden beneath them. With a frown, Rory walked over to what she assumed was her mother.

“Why are you sleeping here?” she asked. “Mom! C’mon, you have a perfectly good bed, why would you...?”

The question died on her tongue as Rory grabbed the covers and pulled them back to reveal the very last face she expected on the pillow. She leapt back as if burned and Jess’ eyes instantly popped open to stare at her. Thankfully he was used to waking up very fast. He had to get accustomed to that when sleeping in some less than savoury places these past few months. Of course, he should have been okay on Lorelai’s couch. There was no way Rory was expected home quite this early, because Jess knew for sure he wouldn’t have been allowed to sleep on if Lorelai had known her daughter was on her way over.

“Rory,” he said, swallowing hard as he moved to sit up.

Every muscle protested after many an hour squashed on the lumpy couch. Jess heard several joints pop as he put his feet down on the carpet. Rory backed up two more steps, her back hitting the mantle shelf and rattling the picture frames and ornaments there.

“What...? Jess! I can’t... What are you doing here?!”

She started out confused and speaking quite incoherently, but the question she finally posed was direct, firm, and edged with anger. Jess couldn’t blame her, not after how things had gone before. Honestly, as much as he had rehearsed a speech to give her more than a million times in the past six months, every word of it was gone now he was face to face with Rory for real. She was still just as beautiful, even with her hair cut shorter, wearing clothes he’d never seen before. Of course she was also just as pissed at him now as she probably had been the day he walked out on her.

“Rory...” he began, shaking his head.

“No!” she cut him off the second he faltered. “I don’t want excuses or apologies or whatever else you’re planning. I just want to know why you’re here, in my house, on my couch?”

“That would be my fault,” said Lorelai from the middle of the stairs.

All eyes turned to look at her and she squirmed appropriately, especially under the pained gaze of her daughter. This was bad. Worse than she ever expected, actually.

“Okay,” she said, elongating the word to twice its normal length. “See, thing of it is, Jess came back to pick up his car. You remember the famous junk heap that Luke kind of ‘appropriated’? Well, of course you do,” she laughed at her own stupidity, almost literally face-palming. “Anyway, Jess was planning on sleeping in his car last night, in thirty-five degree weather no less, so - and I know I’m not always up on my bible, I mean, I’m no Mrs Kim, but anyway - I kind of came over a little Good Samaritan, I guess,” she tried to explain.

“I’m gonna go,” said Jess, suddenly up from the couch and heading for the door.

Neither Lorelai or Rory were sure when he put his boots and hat back on, or how he seemed to be at the front door before another word could be spoken. Honestly, both of them were torn between being glad Jess was gone and wishing he had stayed a little longer, though explaining those conflicted feelings would probably be impossible for either party.

“You okay, kid?” asked Lorelai then.

“I... Yeah, I guess,” said Rory, shaking her head. “I was surprised. Shocked, actually, but I wouldn’t want him to freeze to death. No matter what happened, I... I’m glad you didn’t let that happen,” she admitted, meeting her mother’s eyes.

“I figured,” she agreed, trying for a smile. “I’m sorry you stumbled across him like that. I was going to have him out of here before you came home, then explain as gently as I could that he was in town. I just wish you hadn’t become such an early riser,” she sighed, smiling still a she trudged down the last few steps and came over to hug her baby girl.

“Blame Paris. And Lane. And Professor Fleming,” she listed, wincing on the final name.

“Okay,” said Lorelai, kissing the top of Rory’s head then leaning back to see her expression. “Seems like maybe you’ve got a lot to tell Mommy about, huh?”

“Seems like we’ve both got some ‘splainin’ to do, Lucy,” her daughter replied. “First off, why is it almost as cold inside the house as outside?” she asked seriously.

“Window breakage,” said Lorelai sadly, pointing towards the offending busted glass. “Happened when I closed it yesterday. I tried putting some cling wrap on it but...”

“But strangely enough, the stuff isn’t air-tight?”

“Who knew, right?”

Rory smiled at the humour in that situation at least, then promptly shivered from the cold she was feeling. Her fingers itched to reach for the abandoned blanket on the couch but she soon thought better of it. Jess had used that. It would smell of him, and was probably still warm from his body heat. Honestly, that made it all the more appealing in some ways. Her brain admonished her for her own thought process and she quickly pulled out of her mother’s arms, rushing towards the kitchen.

“Coffee and Pop tarts,” she said with determination. “That always makes everything better.”

“Sure does,” agreed Lorelai, though her heart wasn’t in the response or the smile she tried for either.

This was kind of a mess and it was all her fault. All she could do was listen to Rory’s Yale problems and try to help, then give a full explanation of why Jess was in town and how he ended up on the couch. God only knew what the fall-out would be after that, but Lorelai had made her choice last night and now she had to deal with it. Maybe she saved a life, maybe she broke a heart or two.

With a heavy sigh, Lorelai pushed her hair back off her face and padded off to the kitchen after Rory. A shiver made her pull her robe all the tighter around her body, and a glance at the time on the clock just made her feel worse. It was way too early to be up and at ‘em on a Saturday. It was going to be such a long day!

* * *

Jess hated this place. Actually, that wasn’t true. Stars Hollow had been his home for almost two years and in that time he had learnt to love it, quirks and all. His uncle had been good to him and his girlfriend had adored him. Jess never quite figured out why, but he had known it was true. He was the screw up that ruined it all. Now both Luke and Rory couldn’t wait for him to be gone. Jess just wanted his car fixed so he could do what he did best and leave.

“How much longer?” he asked Gypsy, leaning down to where she was currently underneath his car, clinking away.

“A lot longer,” she told him, pushing herself out into the light on her trolley. “Go away,” she urged him. “Seriously, just be gone for as long as possible. I cannot work with you lurking, you make me nervous!”

Jess bit his lip and forced down the growl that wanted to creep up his throat, not least because he felt as if he were morphing into Luke the longer he stood here. Jess did not want to go wandering around town where everybody would see him. The very last place he wanted to hang out was Stars Hollow, and yet rushing back here to get his car had seemed such a good idea at the time.

“What are you deaf as well as dumb now?” asked Gypsy, peering up at him. “Get lost! Scram! Take a hike for a few hours, or this is never gonna get done!” she insisted.

“Fine, I’m going!” Jess told her, hands held up a moment in mock-surrender.

He didn’t want to be hanging out around the mechanic’s place any more than Gypsy wanted him there, though honestly, Jess didn’t know where else to go. It was his stomach growling that made a choice for him. He needed all his cash to pay off Gypsy, and even then he would be lucky if he had enough. Still, Jess had to eat and he figured a hot chocolate and a sandwich at Weston’s might just be in the budget. He had a handful of change from his pocket, counting the coins as he walked, when suddenly Jess ploughed right into somebody coming the other way. A shower of nickels and dimes went skittering across the pavement.

“I’m sorry,” said a voice, one he knew too well.

Jess was wincing when he glanced at Rory. “Of all the gin joints...” he muttered, stooping to the ground to pick up his fallen money.

It was a surprise to realise she was down there too, balancing carefully on the wet pavement, scrambling around for the coins he needed too much. Jess didn’t want Rory to know that. All he really wanted her to know was that he was sorry, and for way more than running into her today.

“Here,” she said, handing him the money she had gathered up.

“Thanks,” he replied just as shortly, feeling too weird when her fingers briefly touched his. “Er, so... About this morning...” he began as they both stood up and faced each other.

“It’s fine,” Rory told Jess, looking everywhere but at him. “Mom explained everything, and.... It’s fine,” she repeated.

It didn’t seem fine. Jess felt anything but fine right now.

“I’m sorry,” he said at last, finally succeeding in getting her full attention apparently. “And not for today. At least, not only for today,” he told her, feeling so stupid for not being able to make a full sentence in front of her. “Can we talk?” he asked then.

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

“Rory...” he said with a look.

She knew exactly what he meant. She wasn’t stupid and even a person who was would have to know he was looking for a real conversation here. Maybe it was the first time in his life that Jess ever willingly went into such a situation, but here it was and he was asking. Rory didn’t look so sure, but finally Jess felt like he could breathe again when she nodded her head.

“Okay, fine.”

“Coffee?” he suggested, gesturing to Weston’s that was all of ten yards away, pretty sure such an offer was still going to be a winner.

Rory nodded one more time and then led the way into the bakery. They ordered awkwardly, a coffee for her, nothing to eat. He got his hot chocolate and a slice of pie in the end. Jess was starving before, even when he ordered, and yet sat across the table from Rory, he lost all of his appetite. He was already full, not with food, obviously, but with feelings, with a hundred things to say, none of which sounded right or enough anymore. This was ridiculous, and Rory seemed to think so too.

“You wanted to talk and yet you’re not saying anything,” she noted, fingers playing with the fringe of her scarf in some kind of nervous gesture that Jess knew too well.

It made him feel a little better. The familiarity of knowing Rory. Her hair was shorter and she was more pissed at him than she had ever been, but she was still her, still his Rory in all the little ways that mattered most. Plus she was as awkward and nervous in this moment as he was. That helped too. Not much, but enough that Jess actually felt like he might be able to speak. Talking had to come easier than eating, because the pie just wasn’t going in his mouth at all.

“I’m just... I’m trying to figure out where to start,” he admitted, letting his fork clatter onto the plate too loudly. “Where do you want me to start?” he asked Rory too seriously, leaning back in his seat as if defeated already.

Rory wasn’t sure she would have known herself if he asked a few hours ago. Finding Jess on her mother’s couch at eight a.m. all out of the blue had completely knocked her for a loop. Rory had a chance to think since then. She sat here staring across at Jess now, feeling a million different things from elation to pure misery by way of boiling anger and frustration, but she did at least know where she wanted him to start.

“We already covered the apology,” she realised aloud. “So, maybe now we go on with why the hell you left without so much as a goodbye?”

Her tone was clipped and her eyes were blazing blue fire. Jess might’ve been worried if he wasn’t still feeling the comfort of the familiar. That and knowing she couldn’t be this mad about everything that went before if those feelings she had never quite been sure about before were not as real as they might’ve been. She still cared.

“Not easing me into this, huh?” he half-joked, immediately regretting it and deliberately biting back even the hint of a smirk when she continued to glare him. “Okay,” Jess went on, clearing his throat. “Here goes...”


	3. Chapter 3

If there was one thing Jess was never comfortable doing, it was talking about his feelings. Actually for the most part, he didn’t like talking full stop, not about anything that mattered. With Rory at least he knew how to string a sentence together, but most of their conversations had been about books, movies, music. Real talking about feelings and emotions, that wasn’t anything Jess was good at and for the most part Rory never pushed him into it. Now he ought to be telling her more than just sorry, more than just the tale of Jimmy Mariano and a trip to California. He should be telling Rory the whole truth, how she made him feel worthless sometimes, how he had a happy knack of assuming he was a jerk even when she was never saying that, not even implying it. Those things stayed in his head, whilst the rest of the story was told. Jess ought to have known it wouldn’t be good enough for Rory, not after everything.

“Jess, I understand why you wanted to go be with your father,” she said when his story was done. “I can even get why you felt embarrassed about dropping out, but... but why couldn’t you say goodbye to me? Why couldn’t you explain and just talk to me about all this before?”

“You’re kidding, right?” he said, laughing bitterly into his stone cold tea.

Rory frowned some as if she really didn’t get it. Jess was amazed. She really wasn’t stupid, not his Rory, and as angelic as she sometimes came off, there was no way in hell she couldn’t put this together. Jess really hoped she would, then maybe he wouldn’t have to say it out loud, making himself feel stupid, making her feel bad.

“Was I so hard to talk to?” she checked, before shaking her head as if she were having this conversation with herself. “No, you just didn’t talk. You wouldn’t talk to anybody, not Luke, not me.”

“I tried, sometimes,” said Jess, eyes on his tea as he stirred it, knowing he had no intention of drinking another drop at this point anyway. “You don’t get it, and I can’t expect you to. Your whole life, people have looked at you like some kind of hero, Rory. Like a princess that can do no wrong, that just shines without even trying.”

She looked equal parts embarrassed and mad at the implication, but Jess had a point to make and pushed on regardless.

“It was different for me. I was the disappointment. Jimmy was out the door the day I was born. Liz spent the whole time dumping me off on other people, until I was old enough to just be left alone. Then I come here, and Luke tried, I know he did, but I always got the feeling that he was just waiting for me to screw up, same as everybody else in this town. Except you,” he said with a hint of a smile. “The great revered Rory Gilmore looked at me and actually saw somebody who was worth giving the time of day to. You cared what I did. You actually thought I was capable of doing something good with my life.”

“Always,” said Rory, nodding her head.

“Well, the joke’s on you, because look at me now,” replied Jess, a bitter edge to his words that made Rory wince. “I’m sorry, Rory, but the last thing I wanted after being looked down on by just about everybody else in this crazy town was to have you do the same thing. I couldn’t handle it,” he admitted sadly.

Rory swallowed hard, wondering why her eyes suddenly felt damp. She hadn’t thought, or maybe she had but didn’t want to admit it. Being mad at Jess when he left, it was so much easier than thinking she might have been part of the reason he bolted. He still shouldn’t have done it, leaving without so much as a good bye, silent phone calls after, but Rory played her part and she knew it.

“I’m sorry,” she said eventually. “If I made it hard for you to talk to me. If I made you feel bad, I... I never meant to.”

“I know that you didn’t.” Jess sighed, leaning back in his seat to look at her. “Rory, you don’t have to be sorry. It is what it is, you, me. Honestly, I have a lot more to apologise for than you do, and I am sorry, for everything.”

Rory nodded, apparently accepting his apology without words. Right now, she wouldn’t know what to say. They had both done wrong, and their relationship had fallen apart because of it. Rory was only left to wonder how it might have gone differently if Jess had nowhere to run to, how it might be different now he was back.

“We probably should’ve had this kind of conversation six months ago,” she said softly, a smile curving her lips.

“Probably,” Jess agreed with a smirk he couldn’t help. “Hindsight’s twenty-twenty.”

“So they tell me.” Rory smiled.

There was a moment when it suddenly felt like they could both exhale again. As if Rory and Jess had been holding the same breath this whole time, from the moment he left town without an explanation. Now the air was clear, at least enough for a friendly conversation about all the things they used to talk about. What would happen later, neither could say, but it wasn’t so awkward anymore, so impossible to be in each other’s company.

“So, how’s Yale?” asked Jess, pushing his cold tea aside and leaning his arms on the table across from Rory.

“It’s good,” she told him with genuine smile, shadowing his movements. “I’m rooming with Paris.”

“My condolences.”

“It’s not so bad, and the other girls in the dorm are nice,” explained Rory all smiles and enthusiasm for her college days - Jess expected nothing less. “The classes are interesting, I am never bored, but the homework can be a killer sometimes. The professors are great, there’s really not one I don’t like, and I’m making friends, which is cool. Dating is weird, but I... Oh, I’m sorry.”

Rory’s voice went away and she looked everywhere but at Jess when her brain caught up to her mouth and reminded her of who exactly she was talking to. Jess had always been easy to talk to about the day to day stuff, understanding her points of view in a way Dean never had, that was for sure. Unfortunately, the D word had come spilling out of her mouth way too easily when speaking to her latest ex boyfriend. She felt stupid.

“What are you sorry for?” he asked, no hint of concern on his face. “You’re allowed to date, Rory,” he reminded her, even though it stung a little, somewhere deep inside.

“Kinda been realising lately that it’s not that easy.” Rory sighed. “And I don’t entirely like it,” she admitted. “How about you?” she asked then, eyes everywhere but on Jess.

“Nothing serious,” he told her, shaking his head.

It was only a partial lie. The whole truth was that there had been nothing serious because there had been nothing at all. No other girl meant anything to him anymore. There was Rory, and then there was everybody else. Nobody in the second category even came close to measuring up, so there would be little or no point in spending serious time with any of them.

Of course, Jess knew he lost the right to spend serious time with Rory a good while ago now. He was back in town to pick up his car and then he had to be gone. He had promised Lorelai, and Jess figured it was about time he started keeping his word to people after too many times letting them down. Whether or not the serious look that had come over his face made a difference, Jess couldn’t be sure, but suddenly Rory was fastening her jacket and grabbing up her purse to leave.

“I should go.”

“Me too,” he agreed, nodding once. “Not that Gypsy is probably done with my car yet...” he said thoughtfully, looking out of the window.

Jess wondered where he was going to go for the hour or two, possibly more, that it was going to take Gypsy to get his car running. Outside was cold but he doubted he would be all that welcome in anybody’s store, even less so their home.

“And when she’s done, you’re leaving again?” asked Rory, following him out into the street.

“That’s the plan,” said Jess, pulling his hat back on when the cold wind bit at his ears.

Rory nodded in understanding, though she looked oddly sad about it. She turned to walk away and Jess meant to do the same. He was still watching her go when she looked back, contemplating saying something, Jess knew, and yet she seemed uncertain for a moment.

“Talk to Luke before you go, please,” she urged him. “Mom said things were strained yesterday, that’s why he didn’t invite you in to sleep at the diner. You should smooth things out.”

If anybody else tried to tell Jess what to do, if they even suggested a course of action and it seemed reasonable enough, he would still do the opposite out of spite. He didn’t know why, that was just his instinct. With Rory it was different, always had been.

“Okay,” he promised, nodding his head. “I’ll try.”

A smile lit up Rory’s face that Jess had missed so much these past few months.

“Bye Jess,” she told him, giving a little wave.

“Bye Rory,” he replied in kind, trying not to recall a day in New York, with her on a bus and him watching her leave, just as she was leaving now.

* * *

“You did what?!” asked Luke too loudly, swinging around so fast he nearly hit Lorelai in the head by accident.

“Easy, Rocky!” she urged him, shifting away from flailing limbs bearing tools of the window fixing variety. “I just let Jess sleep on the couch last night. C’mon, for all that he’s done, you did not what the kid to die of hypothermia or pneumonia or whatever else you get from the cold,” she said, thinking it over. “Basically, nobody wanted to find popsicle Jess on the back seat this morning, so I pulled a Good Samaritan and took him in for the night. I just thought you should know.”

Luke let out a long breath. Lorelai wasn’t sure if he was trying to find his calm or if he was just completely exasperated by what she was telling him. After a long moment of silence, she found out.

“Thank you,” he said at last. “Seriously, Lorelai, I... I’m glad you took him in, and I’m also sorry that you had to,” said Luke, rubbing his forehead. “I should’ve let him stay at the diner, I know I should, I just... yesterday was kinda crazy with Liz and then Jess and... I don’t know,” he said honestly. “My family is just a train wreck.”

“Welcome to the club,” said Lorelai, rolling her eyes and sitting down on the back of the couch. “For what it’s worth, and please, brace yourself for this one, Jess was actually on his best behaviour last night. He even apologised to me for that day you guys came here for dinner, and for the way he treated everybody on his last trip to the Hollow,” she explained.

Luke’s mouth dropped open of its own volition.

“Wow. I... I didn’t expect that,” he admitted. “Well, what about Rory? Has she seen him?”

Lorelai nodded awkwardly. “Came right in this morning and found the ex still sleeping on the couch,” she explained, unsurprised when she saw Luke wincing. “It was fine though, she took it okay, after the initial shock. They shared a few words, Jess left, I filled Rory up with sugary breakfast treats and the world kept on turning.”

“Okay,” said Luke, barely remembering now that he was supposed to be doing anything but standing here staring. “Um, well, Jess should be gone as soon as his car is fixed up. Hopefully Rory won’t see him around town, he’ll leave, and everything will be as it should be.”

“Hopefully,” Lorelai echoed. “But in the meantime, any chance you could make it slightly less Santa’s village in here?” she asked.

“Oh, God, yeah. Sorry,” Luke apologised, immediatey turning back to the broken window and working on fixing it, as promised.

Lorelai smiled as she watched him work. He really was the most dependable guy she ever met, the hero that Liz talked of so easily. She was a surprise, not at all what Lorelai pictured for Luke’s sister, but she adored her big brother, that was for sure. As far as Lorelai knew, there was really nothing not to love about Luke. Times like this she wondered... but it was pointless. Luke was married to Nicole. Lorelai was the friend and customer, not the wife. Never the wife.

* * *

It took a while before Jess found the nerve to head over to the diner. After Weston’s with Rory, he went back to the garage to ask Gypsy how long it would be until the car was done. She was vague to say the least, but promised to have him out of town by nightfall. Since that seemed to be the best estimation Jess was going to get, he decided just to kill time for as long as possible, then go see Luke later. After that particular meeting, he was sure to want to make an exit, or maybe just be encouraged to make one. That was why he spent a few hours hanging out in the book store, then some time was wasted on the bridge and generally wandering around the parts of town he was least likely to be spotted and run out of the Hollow with torches and pitchforks.

It was mid afternoon when Jess decided it was time to face the music. He headed over to the diner and deliberately went around back so he could get up to the apartment without half the town making comments. Running up the stairs was oddly familiar, almost pleasantly nostalgic and yet when he reached the top, his hand reaching for the doorknob he stopped. His hand was shaking. Jess felt dumb when he noticed, and then got angry with himself for being so pathetic. Shaking his head, he turned to leave until suddenly he saw Rory in his mind’s eyes, heard her words echo in his head.

Talk to Luke before you go, please... You should smooth things out.

She was right. That was what really killed him. Rory was always right about this stuff, as Lorelai had been when she reminded Jess he owed Rory and Luke way more apologies than he ever owed her. Those damn Gilmore girls.

Turning himself back around, Jess reached for the knob and flung open the door before he could change his mind again. The colour drained from his already pale face when he realised it was not just Luke in the apartment.

“Oh my God!” Liz gasped at the sight of him, running over for an awkward hug.

Jess didn’t hear most of what she said. His eyes flitted from her to Luke to the mess being made as someone tried to cook dinner, then finally to a stranger sat at the table. Apparently, his name was T.J. and he was Liz’s newest ‘perfect guy’. Jess didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Honestly, he just really wanted to get the hell out. Playing nice with others never did come easy. Playing nice with the dopes that Liz picked up off the street was twice as hard.

“Er, Luke? Can I talk to you?” he asked his uncle the moment Liz let up from rambling on about family meals and kismet and other crap he didn’t want to hear.

“Sure,” Luke agreed, nodding once.

Outside in the hallway, both guys turned into each other, sighing in unison. It would have been funny if either of them noticed. As it was they both had to smile when they apologised over the top of each other.

“What are you sorry for?” asked Jess curiously.

“For leaving you to freeze to death in your car last night,” said Luke, shaking his head. “I spent so long trying to get you to behave like an adult, and then I pulled a childish move like that-”

“I deserved it,” said Jess easily, not caring that interrupting was wrong. “You know I did,” he added off Luke’s reaction.

“Maybe,” his uncle conceded with a smirk Jess himself would have been proud of. “And you’re sorry too, huh? Never thought I’d hear that.”

“Yeah, well,” Jess visibly squirmed. “I could’ve acted better when I was here and we both know it. Maybe it’s all water under the bridge, whatever, but I just wanted to tell you, I did appreciate you letting me stay here before. It probably didn’t look like it most of the time, but I did.”

Luke nodded his understanding, though he didn’t really know what to say. Jess could be such a little punk sometimes, but he was still his nephew, and Luke still loved him so much. He wanted to help, always had, he just didn’t always know how, including right now.

“So...” he said eventually.

“So, Gypsy is working on my car,” said Jess, looking towards the stairs. “Once it’s done, I’m outta here.”

“Just like that?” checked Luke. “I mean, if you want to stay, spend some time with your mom...?”

“Really don’t,” said Jess definitely. “I got what I came here for, Luke. I’m done,” he said with a look that meant more than the words ever did. “I’m good, I just gotta go.”

“Okay.” Luke nodded. “I understand, but just know that you are always welcome here, Jess. Always.”

“Thanks, Uncle Luke,” he said with a smirk, a joke to hide the fact that the sentiment was real.

Luke still got it. He watched Jess hurry down the stairs without a backwards glance and sighed. Maybe his family was a train wreck, but then maybe in time something could be saved from the wreckage yet.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey, sweets. You okay there?” asked Lorelai in a whisper.

Rory hadn’t really been herself all day, and especially not at the grandparents function tonight. Not that Lorelai wasn’t feeling her own kind of awkward here, sat next to Jason and being told to act like a couple. Little did Emily and Richard know that was exactly what they were! Lorelai shook her head and refocused her attention on Rory. Something just wasn’t right with the kid, and Lorelai would bet everything she had on the fact Jess had something to do with it.

“I’m fine,” said Rory with a brave smile. “I- I don’t know, I’m just a little... Today has been a weird day.”

The grandparents had gone to circulate, leaving the Gilmore girls with an awkward looking Jason sat between them, and two secretaries talking quietly amongst themselves on the other side of the table. Jason looked from his girlfriend to her daughter and back again, then shoved his chair away from the table.

“Now seems like a good time for a drink,” he said, smiling at Lorelai and then all but running from the table.

“Huh. Men really are afraid of girl-talk,” said Rory, watching Jason make a hasty retreat.

“Yep, seems that way,” Lorelai nodded, moving over into her boyfriend’s seat next to Rory. “So, this is still about the J word?”

“Mom!” Rory almost laughed at the way she said it. “You can call him by his name, but yes, Jess is on my mind, more than a little,” she admitted with a sigh.

“That talk you had at Weston’s, I thought it was a good thing,” said Lorelai with concern. “You cleared the air, right? Got to being friends?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” Rory considered. “And you two are friends now too, at least from what I saw this morning?”

“Um, yeah. I guess, kind of,” said Lorelai thoughtfully. “I don’t know, babe. I think Jess has been through a rough time since he left, and as much as a part of me thinks any pain is well deserved... I don’t know,” she admitted with a sigh. “He reminded me just a little too much of me last night.”

Rory might have thought that comment was a little strange if she was really listening to what her mom said. Truthfully, her brain was otherwise occupied, replaying her conversation with Jess earlier, and over and over for maybe the hundredth time. It was so surreal seeing him again, especially when their reunion had gone nothing like she ever imagined. Rory always thought she would be more mad at Jess, that he would beg her forgiveness maybe. She wanted some epic explanation for why he ran and to feel satisfied when it was given. Rory wasn’t ready to be blamed for her part in the break up. She wasn’t ready to feel the strange longing in her chest that had been there for such a time now that she ought to be used to it. Missing Jess just hadn’t ever gone away, no matter how many weeks and months passed.

“He apologised,” she told her mom then. “For everything. I did too. I know it was easy to blame him for everything that went wrong with us, but honestly? I could’ve behaved better,” she admitted sadly. “I should’ve treated him better, Mom. I’ve known that for a long time, I think, I just... I didn’t want to admit it. It was easier to be mad.”

Lorelai put her arm around Rory’s shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze. She wanted to say that her daughter did nothing wrong when it came to Jess, but she couldn’t. Nobody knew what went on in that relationship except for the two people in it, and Lorelai did know that Rory had been kind of judgemental sometimes. Lorelai also knew she hadn’t helped with that, and it hurt her heart to realise that she had probably been a part of the screwing up of the Rory and Jess romance too. That wasn’t cool.

“So, now you guys are okay with each other?” she asked eventually.

“More or less,” Rory agreed, nodding her head. “But by the time we get back to town, he’ll be gone again, so it doesn’t really matter anyway. I guess it’s nice knowing if he ever comes back some other time, the air is clear, y’know?

“I know, babe.” Lorelai smiled warmly. “Hey, how about we give this thing another half hour and then book it to that Firelight Festival? Pretty sure burgers and funnel cake will perk you right up.”

“Sounds good,” said Rory with her first real smile of the night.

* * *

Jess wasn’t sure why he was sitting here. The car was fixed, Gypsy was paid, it was time to leave. Under cover of darkness was probably for the best, without catching another glimpse of a Gilmore girl or anybody else that might make for an awkward confrontation. He had apologised to Lorelai, made things better with Rory. Jess had even gone to talk with Luke and smoothed things out. There was nothing left to do now but start the car and leave Stars Hollow one final time, and yet Jess was still sitting here.

“This is crazy,” he muttered to himself, fingers running back through his hair.

Jess’ free hand pulled down the driver’s side visor, starting him when an envelope dropped down into his lap. Though there was no note or even a message scrawled on the envelope itself, the money stuffed inside gave away where it had come from. Jess shook his head and smiled. Luke was too good a person. A much better father than Jimmy had ever been. A much better parent than Liz could ever hope to be. Still, as much as he could use the cash, Jess knew he couldn’t take it. He already owed so much.

Getting out of the car, Jess shoved the envelope inside his leather jacket and pulled the zipper higher. Heading for the diner was going to be a dangerous mission with all the people milling around the Firelight Festival, including Liz and her new guy. Jess kept his head down and powered forward, hoping to get across the square without incident. Fate had to be playing the cruellest of tricks, Jess realised, as he looked up the same moment as Rory and their eyes met.

“Hi”, she said, though clearly startled by the sight of him.

“Hi,” Jess replied in kind, trying not to recall a time when they had got stuck on that particular word way back in the beginning.

“I thought you’d be gone by now.”

“That was the plan.”

An awkward pause followed, until suddenly the hot dog vendor prompted Rory to take her purchase. She snapped out of her daze, taking the food and turning back to face Jess. He was surprised when she held out one hot dog to him.

“You’re not hungry?” she checked when he didn’t move immediately.

Jess opened his mouth and closed it again fast. This was kind of surreal, but honestly, he was hungry and as nuts as he had to be for thinking it, the idea of spending a few more minutes in Rory’s company before he departed did kind of appeal.

“I could eat,” he said at last, taking the hot dog from her hand. “Thanks. Er, you want to...?” he asked, gesturing to an empty bench a few feet away.

“Sure,” Rory agreed, nodding her head.

They sat down with a clear two feet between them. It was kind of ridiculous, but even sharing the same space with hot dogs in their hands was another memory that used to be beautiful and now semed painful. A day in New York, before they were even dating, that now seemed like a life time ago. Jess looked at Rory and then away again as she did the same to him. They ate in silence, and as soon as they were both done, Jess got up.

“I should go,” he muttered, knowing it had to be the best thing.

Rory’s voice stopped him dead in his tracks before he had barely taken one step.

“Again?” she asked, noticing Jess wince at the sound. “I’m sorry but you really do seem to have this habit of running out on me.”

She didn’t even sound mad somehow, just bitter. Jess turned slowly to look at her and shook his head.

“Rory...”

“Jess, I just... I don’t know why we can’t be friends,” she said sadly.

Jess had a hundred answers to that one, none of which he was willing to share.

“Because we can’t,” he said at last, barely looking at her now.

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s all I’ve got.”

Rory watched Jess push his hands in his pockets, his back mostly to her. She hated that he wouldn’t look at her, and yet she wasn’t sure how she would meet his eyes if he did. It was never easy, looking at Jess. Somehow it was too good, too much, like looking into the sun. Still she missed the shiver that always ran through her when their gazes locked, the thrill of just being in his company, talking, bantering back and forth. She just missed him.

“We used to be friends,” she noted. “Before... everything else. It worked just fine. Why not now? Why can’t we?”

“Because I love you!”

The four words came out of his mouth too loudly, too suddenly. Had they been in a room, Rory was sure all the air would have rushed out in a second. As they were outside, she really couldn’t account for the fact there was no breath in her body and suddenly no sound from any of the people or activites going on all around her. There was just her and Jess, and his words hanging between them.

It took Rory a moment to realise Jess was now making a hasty exit, possibly because she had given no answer to his declaration, maybe just because she was sitting here with her mouth opening and closing like a fish. Scrambling to her feet, she literally ran after him, catching him by the sleeve a little further across the square.

“Rory,” he said with a sigh, not turning around yet. “I have to go.”

“No, you don’t,” she insisted.

“Give me one reason why not,” he asked, finally looking at her.

Rory faltered the moment his eyes met hers. She knew it was fatal to meet that gaze, but she just couldn’t help it. A part of her knew what she wanted to say here, but the larger part was full of fear and concern.

“Jess...” she said, shaking her head when no more words would come.

With a sad smile, he looked away as he spoke; “That’s what I thought.”

“Jess, I’m sorry,” said Rory desperately, hanging onto his sleeve still. “I just... I can’t say it back, not now, not after everything, but I- I just know that I don’t want you to leave.”

That seemed to come as a surprise to him.

“You don’t?”

“I don’t,” she promised. “Jess, I didn’t want you to leave the first time or the second time, why would I want you to go now?”

With a sigh, he ran his free hand over his face. This was such a crazy freakin’ day. Two days, actually. Coming to Stars Hollow was such a big ass mistake, and staying would be a worse one. It was nuts that Rory was asking him to, that she seemed oblivious to all the reasons why he should go.

“Because... I’m a jerk,” he said at last.

“For saying you love me?” she checked, shaking her head at the ridiculous logic. “You’re not a jerk. Please, Jess. Please, come back, enjoy the festival,” she urged him with a smile, changing tack when she saw the incredulous look on his face. “Okay, fine, watch me enjoy the festival,” she tried, rolling her eyes. “Our couch is still available for tonight, and then tomorrow if you really want to leave, you can,” she told him, “but not like this. Please?”

Jess already knew he could deny her nothing, never could. Those big blue eyes set into the beautiful face of Rory Gilmore, the most intelligent, crazy, wonderful girl he ever met in his whole life. The only girl he ever fell in love with, and Jess was already pretty sure he was in love for life.

“Okay,” he said at last, watching Rory’s face light up brighter than the fire beyond.

He had to be crazy, Jess was damn sure on that, or maybe he was just the same fool in love that he had been for more than a year now, since the first day that he walked into the Crap Shack and laid eyes on Rory Gilmore. There was no other explanation.


	5. Chapter 5

Rory went through a range of thoughts and emotions when she woke up next morning. For a moment she had to consider where she was, back at home rather than the dorm at Yale. Next her mind replayed the events of the day before and she remembered that Jess was here, not just in town, but asleep on the couch just beyond the door and down the hall. They had never slept in the same house before and it gave Rory a strange feeling to think of him out there. She was the one to ask him to stay, and she wasn’t sorry about it. They were over the worst of the awkwardness, talked out most of the issues from before, and then Jess had turned around and told her he loved her. It was a surprise at the time, but then this warm glow had started inside of Rory and grown larger until it engulfed her entirely. She had it before, or at least something similar, back when she and Jess were together. Actually, she was pretty sure the feeling began way before that, right here in this very room when he appeared at her door that first day.

A sound in the kitchen pulled Rory from her thoughts. It was still kind of early, especially for a Sunday, so she doubted her mom was skulking around in the kitchen. It had to be Jess, and she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to go see what he was doing or not. A quick debate later and she was shoving her feet into some cosy slippers and throwing the comforter around her body to keep out the cold. Shuffling to the door, Rory stopped to straighten out her short hair, took a deep breath and stepped out into the kitchen.

“Hey,” she said softly so as not to startle him.

“Hi,” Jess replied, hands stilling on the glass and faucet from which he was clearly getting a drink of water. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t,” Rory assured him, shaking her head.

It felt strange, not knowing what to say to each other, both suddenly very aware of what they looked like. The weather was cold and the house not much warmer than outdoors might have been. Rory was sure she looked odd with the blanket around her shoulders like a shroud covering yummy sushi pyjamas and fluffy slippers on her feet. Jess just felt so stupid because he couldn’t stop shivering in T-shirt sleeves and sweatpants, nothing at all on his feet.

“You’re cold,” she noted without really meaning to say it aloud.

“Warmer than some nights,” he replied, filling his glass with water.

By the time he was done and turned back to look at Rory, she was gone, only to appear again in a moment, carrying another blanket in her hands. She approached Jess and made some vague attempt to wrap the blanket around his shoulders. He put the glass down so he could do it himself, but the two of them were incredibly close all of a sudden. That never failed to make them both feel something. More than just something, everything in a way that neither could ever explain, even with their extensive vocabularies.

“Thanks,” he said stiffly. “Um, I could’ve just...”

He gestured towards the living room where his own bed was right now. The couch had more blankets than a regular person could ever use, since Lorelai and Rory both seemed determined Jess shouldn’t get cold. It was weird having people care, especially Lorelai, but even Rory after how things had gone before. Now it was just awkward, standing here in the kitchen, not together, kind of friends, but with this estrangement between them still that seemed insurmountable somehow.

“Rory...” he began to say, but Jess really didn’t know where things went from there.

He told her once that the verbal thing came and went with him. It wasn’t a lie, but Jess never thought Rory would be a person he had trouble talking to. They were good at conversation in the beginning, about anything and everything, right up until the time they started dating. Things changed then. They still talked, but not in the same way. Making out took over, which neither of them objected to, but maybe if they had also kept talking, if he had explained things better, about his feelings, about school, about his father. If only Rory could have been more honest about her thoughts on Jess, on Dean, on how things were and were not working. All the ‘what might’ve beens’ in the world were no use now.

“Jess,” said Rory, lips twitching with a hundred words that never made it out of her out.

The truth was, Rory was struggling as much as he was with what to say next, and moreover with an overwhelming urge to kiss him. It was insane, and she knew it, but Jess was always someone she craved, for company, for conversation, and for more physical activities, even before they were really together. Right now, it would be so easy just to fall into one of those moments they regularly got lost in when they were a couple last year, but it seemed ridiculous and wrong to let it happen. That didn’t mean Rory didn’t want it to. A lot.

“Rory?” called Lorelai as she suddenly descended the stairs.

Jess and Rory leapt apart like shrapnel, in spite of the fact nothing had happened. Perhaps it was just the fact they both kind of wanted it to that had them feeling guilty. Right now, there was no time to really think on any of that.

“Hey, you’re both up already,” said Lorelai with a smile as she wandered into the kitchen, a robe tied tightly over her PJs. “Seems like a crazy hour to be awake on a Sunday, but somehow I just can’t sleep anymore,” she considered, looking from one to another of the teens. “Everything okay?”

“Sure, yeah.”

“Fine, Mom.”

They more or less spoke over each other in muttered tones with eyes that looked everywhere but at each other. Lorelai wasn’t sure what to make of that. She found it strange enough when Rory told her Jess would be staying one more night on their couch, though she never argued the point. The kids had gotten to a place where they could happily converse together again, and that couldn’t be a bad thing. Now Lorelai was only left to wonder if friendship was all Rory and Jess had in mind. She supposed it had to be, after everything, and especially with him going away again today, and yet, Lorelai wasn’t so sure she believed that. The lure of an ex could be awfully strong sometimes, and more than once Lorelai had wondered if Rory ever really did get over Jess. There had been little in the way of closure when the end came, and since then, Rory just hadn’t really dated at all. Maybe this was what she had been waiting for, or rather whom. Maybe Jess was still in her heart, no matter how much Lorelai wished it were untrue.

“So, who’s up for breakfast at Luke’s? My treat?” she offered Rory and Jess both.

They agreed and quickly rushed off to their respective rooms to get dressed. Lorelai watched them go and didn’t know whether to be amused or concerned. Whether she liked it or not, things were so not over with those two. Not even close.

* * *

Luke looked surprised to see Jess come into the diner with the Gilmore girls, but he said nothing about it, only asked how everybody was this morning and got a varied selection of positive responses. Lorelai was determined she was paying and that both Rory and Jess were to have anything they wanted. Piles of pancakes, bacon and eggs were brought to the table and the three ate together, Lorelai doing most of the talking and on the most generic topics possible, mindful of causing any kind of fight or more awkward looks across the table.

Eventually, when the food was almost gone and the coffee grew cold in the cups, Lorelai felt the need to broach the subject of Jess’ extended visit. With a friendly smile she asked how long he would be staying.

“I mean, the couch is yours if you need it another night or two,” she offered kindly. “I’m not trying to chase you out, but I figured-”

“I should leave today,” Jess interrupted her without thinking. “I have work and... I should go.”

“Okay then.” Lorelai nodded. “Well, I don’t really know what the right thing to say here is, but it was nice to see you, I guess,” she considered. “Really, I’m glad you two cleared the air, and you and Luke also,” she admitted, her hand briefly landing on Jess’ arm.

His eyes went from her fingers on the leather of his jacket up to her face as he returned the smile she gave him. If nothing else came out of this trip, he and Rory’s mom had kind of built a bridge, and that wasn’t nothing. Lorelai meant a lot to both Luke and Rory, and Jess didn’t hate knowing that she could stand to be in the same room with him now. He made his apology and she graciously accepted him into her home. It was a positive, as was making things better with both Rory and Luke themselves. Definitely not a wasted trip, but Jess knew what he said before was true. He needed to get back to New York, to his job and his crappy apartment. He wasn’t sure why he needed to, he only knew that he did.

Lorelai spoke of getting over to Sookie’s place and then on to the inn. Rory was quick to invite herself along, hovering at the door when she suddenly seemed to realise this might be it, that Jess might be gone by the time she got back.

“It was good to see you, Jess,” she told him with a genuine smile, the like of which he had at one time wondered if he would ever see again from her.

“You too, Rory,” he assured her, smiling right back.

“Take care of yourself,” she said seriously, and then she was gone.

Jess was still staring after her when Luke approached the table. He didn’t notice his uncle was there until he spoke.

“I was surprised to find you were still here this morning.”

“Me too. I saw Rory last night, when I was coming to see you, actually. She asked me to stay, so I did.”

“You were coming to see me? Why?”

“You know why,” said Jess with a look, pulling an envelope full of money from inside his jacket and waving it at Luke. “This look familiar.”

“No,” his uncle replied, not quite convincingly.

Jess smirked. He got up and followed Luke when he headed back to the counter.

“You’re a lousy liar,” he told him, shaking his head. “Thanks, Luke, but I can’t...”

“Yes, you can,” Luke insisted, waving the gesture away when his nephew tried to give him back the cash. “You take it, Jess, I want you to. Actually, I’d rather you were someplace safe and decent where you wouldn’t need that money, but hey, you’re an adult now, it’s not my place to tell you where you should be or what you should be doing. I’m not sure it ever was my place, actually,” he said sadly. “But, y’know, your mom and T.J. left last night. If you wanted to stick around, I don’t know, just for a little while, catch up with Rory, spend a few nights in a warm bed, eating real food?” he suggested, one hand adjusting his baseball cap. “Your old bed is still up there and I always need help here in the diner. Y’know, if you wanted to?”

Jess had to be crazy, but it took all of five seconds for him to smile and nod his head.

“I guess I could help you out for a few days, or whatever,” he said, smile turning into a smirk because they both knew how dumb this was, what a big deal it would be for him to be here again after everything.

“I’d appreciate that,” said Luke, smiling also. “Welcome home, nephew.”

* * *

“Jess Mariano said ‘I love you’? He actually said those words to you?” asked Lane, so enthusiastic in her hand gestures and such that Rory was almost convinced the car was going to tip over from the force of her best friend’s motion.

“That’s what he said,” she agreed, eyes on the road as she signalled the turn and headed on towards Stars Hollow. “Believe me, nobody was more shocked than I was. It was crazy enough that he just showed up, and on my couch of all places, but then to say... what he said. I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“I’m still a little bowled over by him and your mom becoming buddies,” said Lane thoughtfully. “I mean, I know everybody gets along with Lorelai, she’s awesome, but her and Jess, that relationship did not start well, and as far as I remember never really improved much.”

“Not really,” Rory agreed. “They both tried, when me and Jess were together, but it was kind of tough. Apparently he apologised for the way he was, and they built a bridge or something. Honestly? I kind of like that he came back, that we all got a chance to make some peace. I don’t want to be awkward any time he come around, afraid of what’s going to happen, y’know?”

“I get it, I do,” Lane agreed completely. “And I’m glad too. If he made his apologies to Lorelai, to you...”

“And to Luke,” supplied Rory.

“Right, and to Luke, well, then everybody is happy. Jess did good. One big old tick in the positive column for him.”

Rory smiled at Lane’s analysis of the situation. It was nice knowing that Jess was on so many people’s good side now. Rory never wanted things to get as bad as they did, and as much as she could blame Jess for a lot of that, she had to carry some blame too. Now things were back on an even keel, and Rory felt like she could breathe a little easier. Of course, the awkward meeting in her kitchen this morning was a reminder that things were still not one hundred percent resolved, but Rory chose to put that part to the back of her mind for now, on account of the fact Jess would be gone from Stars Hollow by the time she got home with Lane.

“So, when we get back, you are going to talk to your mom, right?” she asked her friend. “You know Mrs Kim is missing you so much.”

“I don’t know,” Lane considered. “Part of me thinks I should, but the other larger part is conflicted with the first part.”

“Well, you know our couch is yours for as long as you need it,” said Rory, repeating words already spoken an hour before at Yale. “I’m sorry about you getting kicked out of the dorm. I’d love for you to stay...”

“But I don’t actually go to Yale and your room-mates are feeling kind of weird about my presence,” said Lane easily. “It’s cool, Rory, I get it. Your mom is so great for saying I can crash at your house for a while, though I assume that particular offer was on hold for as long as Jess was on your couch. No offence to your ex, but I’m not sure I need to be Mariano’s snuggle bunny.”

Rory laughed loudly at the phrasing, she couldn’t help it. Then she blushed thinking of time spend squeezed onto that same couch (as well as the one at Luke’s place) with Jess’ arms around her. Sure, they never slept together there, or anywhere, but they had been very, very close for a while.

The ringing of a cell phone got both girl’s attention. Rory was just pulling onto the drive and managed to scramble for her purse in time to answer it before the caller hung up. She was surprised to see the name displayed on the screen of her phone as she accepted the call.

“Hey, Luke,” she greeted him. “What can I do for you?”

“It’s not Luke.”

Rory’s eyes went wide.

“Jess,” she said, causing Lane to lean over from the passenger side, trying to listen in on the call. “Um, I thought you’d be gone by now. Not that I’m saying I’m not glad you’re still here, unless something is wrong, then that’s bad. Er, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he told her, with a smirk she could hear somehow. “I just wanted to let you know that Luke offered to have me stay a little longer, sleep in my old bed, work my old job. I don’t know how long I’ll be around, but I thought it was only fair to let you know.”

“Oh, well, thank you,” said Rory with a smile of her own. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

“I guess you will.”

The call ended in moments and Rory continued to stare at her cell for a full minute afterwards, as if she expected it to tell her some further information about what just happened. Obviously it didn’t.

“Wow,” said Lane eventually. “So, Jess is staying.” 

“Apparently,” Rory agreed, barely nodding her head.

“And how do we feel about that?”

“Honestly?” her friend replied, meeting her gaze. “I have no idea!”


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a week. It wasn’t supposed to be but it was. Jess had several calls and texts from both his jobs in that time, two bosses asking when he was getting his ass back to work. The contact stopped two days ago for one and yesterday for the other. Now he had been replaced. Twice.

Burning bridges came surprisingly easy to Jess. He had been doing it all his life and almost never regretted his behaviour. The exceptions to the rule lived right here in Stars Hollow, and apparently those bridges were not so much burnt as they were a little charred around the edges. Rebuilding was possible, and that was what he had been doing. Luke accepted Jess back, almost as if nothing had happened. Lorelai was being friendly, which was a real shocker, but then Jess had done his part in healing the breach there. He found a new understanding with Lane, especially since she had now left home and all. The only real issue was Rory.

Jess couldn’t fail to notice that she hadn’t been around much lately, and he couldn’t help but blame himself for that. Sure, she was in college now, and you didn’t pass courses at Yale by never being there. Still, Rory’s absence was so noticeable and unusual that even Lorelai and Luke had been talking about it yesterday. If they were worried about her, maybe Jess wasn’t being paranoid after all.

When he noticed Lane sat at the counter, putting concentrated effort into seeing how much her nickels and dimes would buy for her, Jess saw a chance to find out what was going on. It was questionable behaviour to offer free food to a woman in distress for the sake of information, but for all that Jess was trying to be a better person these days, he wasn’t exactly going for a sainthood.

“Hey,” he said to Lane as he poured her a cup of coffee and selected a doughnut from the stand. “You look like you could use these,” he offered.

“Oh, thanks” said Lane awkwardly. “I, er...” she looked pained as she started over counting her change.

“It’s cool. It’s on me,” Jess assured her with as much of a smile as he could manage.

The whole being nice to people thing still didn’t come entirely naturally to him. With Rory it was easy, even with Luke sometimes, but as to everybody else, well, the world had never really given Jess a break so he never felt the need to be kind to anyone else as a rule. Lane was Rory’s best friend and she could use somebody being around to help her out right now. Jess knew better than anyone what it was to be in her position after all.

“Thank you,” she smiled gratefully for the food and drink he gave her. “Seriously, Jess, I appreciate it.”

“No big deal. Members of the psycho mom club have to stick together, right?” he told her with a smirk.

“Right,” Lane replied with a smile of her own. 

“And y’know, if you need a job, you should ask Luke,” suggested Jess then. “He mentioned you worked here for a while, and just because I’m around, there’s always shifts when he could use the help.”

“You really think he’d hire me again? After the way I just ran out on him?”

“Lane, this is Luke we’re talking about,” said Jess, rolling his eyes. “He’s got me working here again after everything, he’s going to have no problem with you.”

“Thanks, Jess. Again,” she said, sipping her coffee. “It’s just kind of tough, the whole being out in the world on my own thing,” she admitted, sighing heavily as she picked at her doughnut. “I was staying with Rory at Yale for a while and now I’m on Lorelai’s couch.”

“A place I know well.”

“Right, of course.”

Silence fell over the pair and Jess couldn’t handle it. The truth was, he didn’t mind being nice to Lane, but he had come over here for one reason above all others and he wasn’t going to settle until he just asked his question.

“So, I guess Rory must be pretty busy with Yale? I haven’t seen her around much.”

Lane tried not to smile too much, hiding her expression in the large bite she took from her doughnut.

“They keep her pretty busy, yeah,” she agreed around her mouthful. “Even when I was living there, I didn’t see her all that much. Always running from one class to the other, in the library, plus hanging out with all the new friends she’s making.”

Lane watched Jess carefully as he made a big deal of wiping down the counter top with gusto. Rory did have new friends at Yale, that much was true, but not so very many, and none of them dateable guys or anyting. Honestly, Lane just wanted to see how much Jess would react in an attempt to gauge his interest in Rory. She was pretty darn sure Jess was still totally in love with Rory, and she wouldn’t be amazed if Rory told her she was still in love with Jess. Neither of them had made that kind of confession or even a suggestion of it to Lane so far, but she had a feeling that one of them could, if pressed.

“Huh,” said Jess, his only reaction to all Lane had said, before he turned and walked away.

He had customers to serve, it wasn’t such a big deal that he had gone, but Lane had a feeling he might not have been quite so eager to go if she had been in any way encouraging. If she had told Jess that Rory missed him or wished she had time to see him, then he might have stayed to talk longer. As it was, Lane wasn’t willing to lie, and actually she was wishing Rory was around just as much as Jess was right now. It was always lonely without her.

* * *

Lorelai cursed as she checked the machine and realised she had missed yet another call from her daughter. She and Rory just seemed to have the worst possible timing lately. It was a constant stream of messages left and messages received the last couple of days, and of all times to be without her daughter, Lorelai felt this was the worst one. Not that she would tell Rory what was going on if she were here. She couldn’t tell anyone, not one person, because if she confessed it out loud that would make it altogether too real.

The truth was, Lorelai was just haemorrhaging money lately. The inn development works just kept on running into snags, things cost more than they budgeted for, and with Sookie always so busy with Davey lately, Lorelai was expected to do everything, to handle all things at once. It was too much, and more than once she felt as if she would drown amongst the to do lists and money worries. There was no good direction to turn, no person to rely on for help or advice. Lorelai fought to keep her head above water, and all without the comfort of her daughter to talk to.

“Hey, sweets,” she said, leaving yet another message on Rory’s voicemail. “Remember me? The woman who birthed you? Well, it’s me, again, just letting you know I’m still around and hoping to hear from you very soon. I miss you kid,” she said, the last few words more sincerely than any others in the whole message.

Hanging up the phone then, Lorelai pushed her hair back off her face with both hands and blew out a long breath. Too much to do, and not enough time to do it in or money to acheive it. She didn’t have to do all this alone, she knew that. What was the point of her relationship with Jason if she couldn’t turn to him in a time of crisis, and he would be supportive, she knew he would. Unfortunately, Lorelai couldn’t allow herself to put him in that position, to talk about her money troubles to her boyfriend. He would offer to give or lend what she needed and Lorelai would feel so awkward taking that money. Accepting cash from the guy you were sleeping with. Unless you were married or whatever, that had connotations that Lorelai really didn’t care for. Her parents were an option, but she couldn’t stand to admit defeat that way. The bank probably wouldn’t lend her any more, which left only one final option.

“No,” said Lorelai to herself, shaking her head. “No, I can do this myself,” she told herself firmly, picking up her jacket and purse to leave the house.

She didn’t believe the lies she told herself, but Lorelai didn’t have a choice but to keep on telling them for now, until she sunk so low that she just had to beg a favour from her dearest friend, the ever reliable Luke Danes.

* * *

Rory switched her cell back on after her class and found a voicemail waiting for her from Lorelai. Her mom begged to hear from her soon and Rory only wished they could be in the same place at the same time, or at the very least on either end of a phone connection! Immediately she called the house in the hopes of her mom being there, but no joy. She was about to try her cell when the phone rang in Rory’s hand. Without even checking the screen, she accepted the call.

“Mom?” she guessed, startled by the reply she received.

“Wow. So wasn’t expecting that,” said Jess with amusement clear in his tone.

“Jess. I’m sorry, I didn’t look, I... I’m sorry,” she repeated awkwardly.

“No problem,” he assured her. “I was really just calling you so you got this number.”

“This number?” she echoed. “You’re not at the diner?”

“Nope. Currently walking through the town square of good old Stars Hollow and freezing my ass off in the process, I might add.”

“No!” she gasped. “Jess Mariano, you bought a cell phone?”

“Apparently,” he confessed with a smile she could almost hear. “I figured it was time. Sharing a landline with Luke wasn’t always practical before, and now... Well, if I ever need to go any place, I have no excuse not to stay in touch.”

“That makes sense,” Rory agreed, though she felt sad just thinking about Jess going away again. “But does that mean... I guess you’re headed back to New York soon.”

Jess was quiet on the other end of the line, so long that Rory was about to check if he was still there, when finally he spoke.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I spent so long wanting out of this place, but now there’s nothing holding me here, I could probably stand to stay a little longer.”

A lesser spotted smile came to Rory’s lips at that news, even if she knew she had to be crazy. Jess had hurt her before and more than once. Sure, they had patched up some kind of friendship on his return to town, but they had barely talked since and everything was just so vague and undefined right now. As much time as she was spending at Yale and studying, Rory wouldn’t have known if Jess left town in the last week without a word, though she doubted he would be so callous after everything that went before.

“Rory?” he prompted when she took her turn at too long a silence,

“I’m glad you’re sticking around for a while,” she told him then. “I’ve hardly seen you. Yale has just been so crazy, I’ve hardly had time to breathe.”

“I’ll bet you’re doing great, and you can tell me all about it next time you’re home. I wanna hear everything.”

“You will,” Rory promised. “Hopefully I’ll be down tomorrow for the weekend.”

“Sounds good,” said Jess definitely. “So, I’ll see you soon.”

“You will, but for now I really have to run. Bye, Jess.”

“Bye, Rory.”

* * *

When Lorelai walked in, Luke was pleased enough to see her. When she came over and sat down on a stool, unceremoniously dropping her head full force onto the counter, he stopped smiling.

“Bad day?” he asked pointlessly.

“No,” said Lorelai from her sad position. “Awful day, worst day, hell day!” she said, as she finally raised her head and half a smile at the sight of a very large cup of coffee set before her. “You’re an angel.”

“So you’ve said before,” Luke noted. “Wanna talk about the hell day?”

“Nothing could be worse than today,” she lamented after several large gulps of java. “I haven’t talked to Rory in over twenty four hours, we just keep missing each other, and then I fought with Sookie over all this stupid inn stuff, and then tomorrow night I have to go to dinner, not just with my parents, but with my grandmother also.”

“So today is pre-hell day compared with tomorrow?” offered Luke.

“Not helping.” she glared. 

“Sorry,” he said quickly refilling her cup as she held it out to him. “Seriously though, are you okay?”

Lorelai was not okay. She stared into her coffee thinking of just how much she was the opposite of okay and how one of the most major problems in her life could be solved by the man standing in front of her.

Money. It was such a dirty word when considered in the same breath as friendship. Part of what had caused the fight with her and Sookie was financials for the inn. It wasn’t all of it, but it played a part. Making a monetary arrangement with Luke could get messy, but he always wanted to help, and Lorelai really was running out of options.

“Luke?” she said at last, glancing up at him over the rim of her cup. “After I get done at my parents house tomorrow night, could we maybe meet up? For dinner?”

“You and me?” he asked, seemingly surprised by the question.

“No, the Pope and Anna Nicole.” Lorelai rolled her eyes. “Yes, me and you.”

Luke blinked a couple of times and then eventually nodded his head,

“Uh, sure. I mean, yeah,” he agreed, adjusting his cap the way he always did when something made him just a little bit uncomfortable. “Jess can close up for me, and so long as I... It’ll be fine,” he promised.

Lorelai was pretty sure he skipped over something he was going to say there. She would bet a whole bunch of money that it was something to do with Nicole, if she had a bunch of money, which she didn’t, and that was kind of the point.

“Okay, cool,” she said, deciding it was better not to pry into Luke’s marriage on top of everything else. “How are things with you and Jess?” she asked instead.

Luke smiled. “They’re good. I keep expecting him to say he’s leaving but he doesn’t, and honestly, I kinda like having him around again,” he admitted. “He’s different. He’s still Jess but... I don’t know, he seems like he wants to make things work here now.”

“That’s good, for both of you.” Lorelai smiled too, meaning every word she said. She finished off her coffee and got up to leave then, knowing she still had a lot to do before she dare rest. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow night. Eight thirty?”

“Eight thirty is fine,” he agreed, waving goodbye as Lorelai left at last.

At least she looked a little happier walking out than when she had walking in.


	7. Chapter 7

Rory was pretty sure she blacked out somewhere during the teacher’s speech about dropping a class. The words resounded in her head like a gong and then faded into a blur of nothingness. She was Rory Gilmore, she didn’t drop a class. It wasn’t in the plan, it was never okay to give up like that.

Sure, recently, Rory had to admit she had been tired a lot, and that having one less non-essential class to deal with would be helpful, but it wasn’t acceptable, it wasn’t okay to make that choice. She had the same kind of schedule that her grandfather kept when he attended Yale, and Rory had to make him proud, her grandma too. Then there was her mom. It was so long since Rory talked to Lorelai. At least a day, maybe two. Suddenly it seemed like years and all Rory wanted to do was yell for her mommy and cry like a baby.

A million scenes seemed to run through her head of their own accord and Rory felt dizzy just watching them whip by behind her eyes. Her grandparents, so proud when she announced she had chosen Yale over Harvard. Her mother, here with her on her first night in college to ensure she settled in okay, telling her she was capable of so much. Then there was Jess, the way he talked to her about college and her future, so confident that Rory was going to do all the great things that she ever wanted to, believing implicitly that she would one day be the next Christianne Amanpour if that was what she wanted. Now the whole of Rory’s future felt uncertain and shaken loose from its foundations. Drop a class. She felt sick.

Rory didn’t know how she got out of the office. Maybe the teacher picked her up and put her out into the hall at some point. She was pretty sure she wouldn’t have noticed if he had, though it was more likely she got here under her own steam, she supposed. One hand fumbled in her bag for her cell and immediately she dialled Lorelai’s number. Rory waited and waited, practically begging her mom to pick up. When the answer machine kicked in, she very nearly cursed, trying Lorelai’s cell phone instead. Voicemail was all the reply she received.

Rory threw her phone into her bag and sniffed hard to avoid tears as she hurried down the hall. Drop a class. She couldn’t breathe.

* * *

Lorelai was pretty sure she blacked out somewhere during Gran’s speech about money and the fight between Trix and Richard that followed. It was horrible, worse than horrible, it was the nightmare of all dinners at her parents house, and Lorelai had been through her fair share of bad ones of those. So much for calling yesterday a hell day, today was turning out to be infinitely worse. She just wanted out, as fast as she could.

Recently, Lorelai’s life hadn’t exactly been going so great. Between money troubles, fighting with Sookie, being so very busy all of the time, and now this dinner, she just couldn’t deal anymore. She needed help, which was exactly what she had just denied to her Gran and what had started this whole debacle at the dinner table. It was awful, and Lorelai just wanted to yell for everybody to stop it already. Jason was trying, and not only now in attempting to bring some calm back to the Gilmore house. He tried all the time to help her in any way he could, to be there for her, but mostly she wouldn’t let him. She kept him in one corner of her life, someone to be with when she wanted to, but away in a box where he couldn’t mix with the other parts of her life. It was wrong, it was one more mess in her currently mesed up world, and Lorelai hated that too.

It was so long since she talked to Rory, that was the worst part in all this. At least a day, maybe two. Suddenly it seemed like years and all Lorelai wanted to do was yell for her daughter and cry like a baby.

A million scenes seemed to run through her head of thier own accord and Lorelai felt dizzy just watching them whip by behind her eyes. Her parents, so proud when she announced she was starting her own inn. Rory and Sookie, there with her at the Dragonfly when they first bought the building, talking about how wonderful it could be. Then there was Luke, the way he talked to her about the inn and her future, so confident that Lorelai was going to do all the great things that she ever wanted to, believing implicitly that she would one day make a real success of her own business and be ridiculously happy in her life. Now everything felt much less certain, and it was coming to a head here in this room, with everybody yelling around her. She felt sick.

Lorelai didn’t know how she got out of the house. Maybe Jason picked her up and put her out on the driveway at some ponint. She was pretty sure she wouldn’t have noticed if he had, though it was more likely she got here under her own steam, she supposed. One hand fumbled in her bag for her cell and imediately she dialled Rory’s number. Lorelai waited and waited, practically begging her baby girl to pick up. When the voicemail kicked in, she cursed, throwing her cell back into her purse. She checked her watch and sighed.

“I have to go,” she told Jason, not giving him a chance to answer as she jumped into the Jeep and set off for home.

Lorelai had a meeting to keep with Luke. She wasn’t looking forward to it, but it mattered more now than ever. She needed money and Luke was the only one Lorelai could turn to now. She couldn’t breathe.

* * *

Rory was sat in the hallway when she heard a car pull on the drive. Coming home tonight for the weekend had been the plan all along, but it became a doubly desperate mission after her talk with her professor and then her counsellor at Yale. They all seemed determined about her dropping a class and Rory just didn’t know where to turn. She needed her mom, more than anything, she just needed to be able to talk to someone who would understand. Unfortunately, the house was empty, but car wheels on the gravel outside had to mean salvation. Rory went running from the house to greet Lorelai, getting a real surprise when she realised the car before her wasn’t her mom’s Jeep at all.

“Jess?” she said with surprise as he got out of the car. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just running the car around the block. You remember how temperamental she can be, I just thought... Are you okay?” he asked, forgetting anything else as he approached her on the front porch.

Rory’s face showed a range of emotions and none of them good. Jess was immediately worried. If there was one thing Rory was good at, it was talking. She rambled when she was nervous or even when she was a little upset. The silence was reserved for truly terrible moments, and Jess almost dreaded what came next. His hands were deep in the pockets of his jacket as he stood before her now, watching Rory sink down to sit on the steps, shaking her head.

“I... I’m fine,” she told him, an out and out lie and they both knew it.

“Rory, c’mon,” he urged her, sitting down on the step beside her. “This is me you’re talking to. If something’s wrong, maybe I can help.”

“It’s stupid, I just... I can’t find my mom,” she admitted, voice shaking a little as she forced out the words. “I really, really need to talk to her and she’s not here.”

“Lorelai was headed to your grandparents and then meeting Luke for dinner,” he supplied all the information that he had. “I don’t know when they’ll be back, but not before closing at the diner, since that’s my job tonight. I left Lane and Caesar to deal whilst I took the car out but I should get back soon. Er, you wanna come with?” he offered, not feeling great about leaving her alone in this state.

“No, thanks,” said Rory, looking everywhere but at him as she swallowed hard. “I’ll be fine, I... I will.”

“Rory?” Jess’ gentle tone and his hand at her cheek finally broke her and one tear streaked down from her eye. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything’s falling apart,” she admitted at last, openly crying through the words that followed. “I thought I had it all under control, but I don’t.”

“What was under control?”

“Everybody else can handle the classes, but I can’t,” she said sadly, wiping at her face with her sleeve. “And I’m supposed to. I’m supposed to take five classes. Everybody else does. I mean, my grandfather did. God, how am I gonna tell my grandfather that I failed?!”

Jess looked as confused as he felt, he was sure on that.

“You failed?” he checked, sure that could not be true at all.

“No.” Rory laughed a painful laugh. “I didn’t even get a chance to fail. I mean, I had to drop a class. I was told to drop a class.”

Jess opened his mouth to say that wasn’t such a big deal, but this was Rory he was talking to. Of course it was a hell of a big deal to her. Education was her life, Yale was her dream, and she was hard-wired to live up to everybody’s expectations of her, most especially her own almost-impossible ones. Still, he had to offer some comfort.

“I know how tough that is on you, but Ror, the world won’t end just because you had to drop a class,” he told her as gently as he could.

“I know that,” she said, sighing heavily. “But I’m not supposed to drop a class. Jess, you know I’m not the drop-a-class person. I get good grades. I... I handle things.”

It broke Jess’ heart to see her like this. It killed him to know he hurt her before, but at least that he had some control over, he could apologise and try to make up for it. This thing with Yale, it was out of his hands. There was a limit to how much he could help and Jess hated that more. Against his better judgement, he wrapped an arm around Rory’s shoulders as she cried and rambled on.

“And Lane, she’s not around anymore, and I know she had to go, but I miss her, and I liked her there, and I haven’t talked to my mom, and I need to talk to her, and she’s not around,” she sobbed, pushing her face into Jess’ shoulder now. “And I’m failing. I’m failing everything. I can’t do it. I can’t handle it. I’m messing everything up!”

Jess held her tight, not knowing what to say to make it better. She was so beyond upset about all of this, and he couldn’t fix it. He wasn’t the guy who gave people comfort in the time of crisis, that just wasn’t him, but for Rory he would try, always.

“You’re not failing,” he told her definitely. “Dropping one class so you can cope better, it’s not failing. You’re Rory Gilmore, okay? And you can do anything. You’re gonna get exactly where you wanna be in life and then you’re gonna look back on this moment and laugh at those professors that said you couldn’t handle five classes. You’re made to be great, Rory. You’re the most amazing woman I ever met my whole life. That’s as true now as before they made you drop a class, okay?”

It was debatable whether Rory was laughing or crying as her head came up from Jess’ shoulder and she met his eyes. He meant what he said, she didn’t doubt it for a second. He told her lies before, or at least withheld the truth, but this she believed implicitly. Jess really did care that much, he believed in her that much.

Without thinking about it, Rory leaned in closer and kissed him.

Jess knew he was a fool if he didn’t react and maybe a bigger one if he did. This was not the way him and Rory should be getting back together, if that were even to happen at all. She was vulnerable right now, quite literally needing a shoulder to cry on. That he would provide, but nothing else, it was too dangerous.

“Rory,” he said, pulling out of their brief kiss. “As much as I hate myself for saying this, it’s not a good idea.”

His eyes were closed when he spoke, all because Jess needed a moment when he wasn’t looking at her in order to regain his bearings. The second he saw Rory’s tear-stained face he knew he had hurt her, but it would be all the worse if he let anything else happen here tonight.

“I’m sorry,” she told him, tearful still. “I do, I screw everything up!”

She moved as if to get away from him, but Jess held her fast. There was no way he wanted to hurt her, but Rory needed to stay and listen, not bolt from him when there was more to be said.

“You do not screw everything up,” he promised her faithfully. “Rory, you know how I feel about you, but now is not a great time for this. You know it’s not.”

She nodded slowly, fresh tears brimming in her eyes.

“I hate this, Jess,” she told him. “I hate how I feel so useless and stupid.”

Rory all but fell back into the arms of one person in a very few who always seemed to understand. Jess was fine with holding onto her, rubbing her back and whispering whatever words of comfort that he could. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Rory Gilmore. That was as true now as it had ever been.

The pair had no idea that just a few streets away Lorelai was in a similar position in Luke’s arms. She felt she was failing too, drowning in debt and so very alone. She confessed to Luke about how alone she felt and about the thirty thousand dollars she so desperately needed. It seemed the Gilmore girls were both sinking in the mire of their lives right now, but if anyone could get them out, it had to be Luke and Jess.


	8. Chapter 8

Jess checked the clock and smiled to himself. His shift at the diner was over, and Rory would be out of her last class of the day by now.

“Luke? I’m out!” he called to his uncle, grabbing his leather jacket from the back and heading for the door.

Luke barely reacted but Jess didn’t mind. Lorelai had been commanding his attention for the last half hour and Jess knew better than to interrupt those two. Sure, Luke was married to another woman and apparently Lorelai had a guy in her life, but Jess knew better than to think any of that was going to work out. If ever he believed in any two people being destined to fall in love and be together, Luke and Lorelai were them.

If he could be as sure about himself and Rory, maybe Jess would be happier, but for now they were at least back to being friends, and that wasn’t nothing.

Now he had a cell phone and Rory had the number, it was that much easier to stay in contact. Her meltdown on the porch steps a few days ago had given Jess one more reason to need to keep on talking with Rory. They checked in with each other on a pretty regular basis since, via text for the most part since it was cheaper than calls, and nobody could eavesdrop. Not that they ever said anything earth-shattering, just bantered back and forth about books, movies, Yale, the diner, all nonsense topics, and yet her messages were the highlight of his day.

Rory had mentioned a few times that she wasn’t feeling all that great. It was just a cold, so she said, though Paris had been acting like the bubonic plague had infiltrated their room. The room-mate would be the downside to visiting, Jess knew, and yet seeing Rory was well worth facing the wrath of the Geller beast. Surprising Rory would be even more fun.

Stopping by Doose’s on his way, Jess bought the usual supplies a person suffering with cold symptoms might need. Before long he hit the check out with Advil, Kleenex, and throat lozenges, plus a few other items and some candy just for the hell of it. He hadn’t really been paying attention to his surroundings much until a guy next to him in the line spoke his name.

“Jess, right?” said the blond who did look vaguely familiar. “Dude, I thought it was you, especially since Lane said you were back. Zach, from the band,” he added on realising he had not been recognised.

“Right.” Jess nodded. “Good to see you,” he said, only because he knew that was what a person was supposed to say in such situations.

Honestly, he had given little or no thought to the random folks in Stars Hollow since he left here. Luke, Rory, and perhaps Lorelai notwithstanding, Jess had put the whole lot of them out of his head for all the months he was away. Now he supposed he was going to have to reacquaint himself, especially with the people that would be connected to those he cared about. Lane was cool, and she was Rory’s best friend, so Zach and the guys from the band would require civility at the very least.

“Somebody sick?” asked Zach, trying to make conversation, Jess supposed, as he noted the items being bought.

“Not really. Rory has a cold is all,” he explained, paying for his purchases and grabbing the bag to leave. “I’ll see you around.”

“Probably more often than you think,” said Zach with a grin. “All goes good, we might be getting an apartment in Stars Hollow.”

Jess nodded and smiled, wondering about how excited the guy looked about a place to live. Then he remembered how tough it could be to find such a place that was decent and affordable sometimes. 

“Good luck,” said Jess as an afterthought before he left the store.

Congratulating himself on at least avoiding any contact with Taylor Doose himself, Jess headed across the street to his car, threw the bag on the passenger seat and set off for Yale. The first red light he hit gave him a chance to check his phone which had buzzed with a message almost the moment he began driving. Jess smiled when he saw it was Rory.

‘Paris is determined to deplete the world’s supply of Lysol.’

‘She needs help,’ he replied immediately.

‘No, I think she’s doing just fine on her own ;)’

Jess smirked at the joke and shoved his phone aside as the light went green. No use wasting time texting with Rory when he could be right there with her. He drove on down the road, trying not to think about the distance he was travelling, 22.8 miles. He had looked it up once and the knowledge of that had thrilled his girlfriend at the time. Jess sighed and turned up the radio, trying desperately to think of something else. How he screwed up just hurt his head and the heart that most thought he didn’t own when he upped and broke Rory’s own. Healing the wounds he had caused wasn’t so tough with Luke or even Lorelai, but Rory was a whole other story. It was easier to pretend things were okay, that they were just friends now and that it was enough. That was such a lie, and Jess knew he probably wasn’t the only one willing to say so if asked, but for now he was sticking with what was working. He and Rory had been friends before they dated the last time. Maybe baby steps was what it took to get them back to where t  
hey wanted to be.

Arriving at Yale, Jess pulled off his seat belt and grabbed his bag from the passenger seat. Checking the piece of paper from his back pocket, it didn’t take long to track down Rory’s dorm room. He knocked, leaning on the door jamb as he impatiently waited for a response. There was the sound of raised voices and then Paris appeared.

“Well, if it isn’t Bukowski.”

“Always a pleasure, Austen,” he snarked right back, the ever present smirk showing through.

Paris looked like she either didn’t get it or didn’t want to, but it wasn’t long before she broke down and smiled. Jess and Paris were never enemies. Honestly, they didn’t know each other all that well, only hanging out on a very few brief occasions via Rory. Their first meeting at the Gilmore house was the one Jess recalled most clearly, and it seemed Paris remembered too. Rory aside, they were each other’s greatest sparring partner when it came to literature, and that was to be respected, in spite of everything else.

“I want you to know that as smart or cute as you can be, in my capacity as Rory’s best friend, I can’t completely like you right now,” said Paris, arms folded across her chest.

“Best friend?” echoed Jess, looking past her at a flustered Rory. “Does Lane know? More importantly, does Lorelai?”

“Please, don’t engage,” Rory urged him, opening the door wider so she could reach past Paris to drag Jess inside.

He was a little startled by the contact but didn’t comment or even hardly react. Sure, a week ago he and Rory had been sat on her porch steps wrapped in each other’s arms, but that was down to extenuating circumstances. Rory had been a wreck over the whole dropping a class thing and Jess was comforting her, no funny business. Now she was actually dragging him into her bedroom, and he wasn’t sure what to do with that. The reason was to escape Paris, nothing else, and yet it couldn’t feel anything but strange.

Rory’s brain only caught up to the rest of her when she got done yelling at Paris for being sweet, for caring, but ultimately crazy and slamming the bedroom door in her face. She turned to see Jess hovering awkwardly between her bed and her dresser, and the room suddenly felt smaller than a closet. Jess Mariano was in her bedroom, and it was weird.

“Um, I’m sorry... about her,” she said, gesturing towards the door beyond which Paris was still muttering more loudly than a person should mutter. “She’s protective of me, and also a little crazed about not wanting to catch the cold.”

“I noticed that.” Jess nodded. “Speaking of,” he added, holding the bag in his hand out at arm’s length so Rory could take it from him.

She was frowning at first and then smiling as she tipped the contents out onto her bed.

“Jess, you didn’t have to,” she told him. “I’m hardly even sick anymore, but thank you.”

He shrugged like it was no big deal, hands pushed deep into his pockets as he rocked on his heels. He looked just about as awkward as she felt. It was so stupid, they had been alone together before, and in her room too. Of course, back then they were dating and kind of all over each other. Rory blushed furiously at the very thought of those days. She put her head down so her hair fell and obscured her from Jess’ view, at least she hoped he couldn’t see how red her face was. He was the type to ask why and Rory really, really didn’t want to explain.

“You sure you’re feeling okay?” he checked, suddenly much closer. “You look a little flushed.”

Rory started at his hand near her hair. Jess backed up as if burnt.

“Sorry, I wasn’t...”

“It’s fine,” she insisted, pushing her hair back behind both ears. “I, er... I just didn’t know you were there, that’s all. I’m so surprised that you’re here, at Yale, I mean, but this was a really sweet idea,” she said again about the cold remedies and such spread out on her bed. “Thank you.”

“No big deal” he told her. “Hey, you’re the smart college student, want to explain to me why we suddenly can’t be a room together and talk without feeling this awkward?”

The question made Rory laugh, mostly because she knew the situation was just as stupid as Jess did. She had no answer though, none she would want to give anyway.

“I don’t want to be awkward, Jess. It’s just... A lot happened with us. Good and bad. It’s hard to go back to the way we were before all of that, isn’t it?”

“I guess so,” he agreed. “But maybe we don’t go back, maybe we go forward, find a new way to be comfortable.”

“Yeah.” Rory smiled. “That sounds like a plan.”

“So, since you’re not exactly bed-ridden or anything, how about I take you to lunch?” Jess tried. “I mean, I know we’re trying to avoid bringing up the past here, but I’m assuming yon still eat like you used to?”

“You better believe it, mister,” said Rory with enthusiasm, moving to grab her coat and purse. “Any food that doesn’t come out of the dining hall is to be treasured, especially if I don’t have to pay for it. Unless... Well, I mean, I can pay, if you’re not... I know you spent a lot on your car and...”

“Rory!” Jess cut in, in spite of the fact he was almost enjoying the chance to bask in the familiarity of a Rory Gilmore ramble after way too long. “I offered to take you to lunch, which kind of implies that I can afford to pay.”

Rory sighed. “Right, of course,” she said, nodding her head. “Blame the cold. It’s not fully cleared out of my head yet.”

Jess smirked but said nothing, just moved to open the door like a gentleman so they could leave. Thankfully, Paris seemed to have gone out whilst they were in the bedroom, which meant she wasn’t there to pass anymore judgement. That was a relief for everybody!

Jess drove Rory to a nearby cafe and they ate their way through enough curly fries to beat some kind of record. Distracted some by food and less awkward now they were away from scary things like beds and Paris, they could talk more. He told her things she missed whilst she was away from the Hollow at Yale, and she filled him in on her classes and her friends at the school. It was comfortable, familiar, like days gone by, and yet at the same time it was new and different. There was no denying they still did the friends thing pretty well, and that was okay for now.

They were almost done eating when Rory’s cell went off in her pocket. She apologised for not having turned it off, but on seeing it was Lane, it was clear she really wanted to accept the call.

“Rory just answer it,” Jess insisted. “I don’t care.”

Smiling at him and mouthing ‘thanks’ she accepted the call and asked Lane what was up. It was a relief for Rory to realise it was good news that had her friend calling, something she explained to Jess the moment she was done on the phone.

“They got an apartment. Lane and the guys from the band.”

“Together?” asked Jess, wide-eyed with shock. “Wow. Mrs Kim’s head might actually explode when she hears that one.”

“It is going to be pretty shocking for her,” Rory agreed, taking another drink from her coffee cup. “But nothing weird is going on. Zach and Brian are good guys and apparently they’re going to sleep in the living room, and Lane gets the bedroom.”

“I remember the band.” Jess nodded. “Actually I ran into Zach at the market when I was buying your cold survival kit. He mentioned something about getting an apartment here. Never thought it’d be with Lane.”

“She’s gone independant.” Rory nodded. “A lot’s changed since you went away.”

Jess bit his lip at that comment and his eyes stayed in his own drink. Rory didn’t mean to hurt him, he knew that before she ever said it, which she did a second later. It stung though to be reminded of how he upped and left the way he had.

“It’s okay,” he assured Rory. “I did everything wrong with us, Ror, and I know it.”

“But you apologised, and I didn’t mean to make you feel bad again,” she told him. “Jess... I do want us to be friends again, and we are, but I can’t... I don’t think we can ever get away from what we were and what happened with us in the end.”

There were no good answers or easy fixes here, Jess knew that. He could try to be Rory’s friend and vice versa, but she was right, it was impossible to forget all they had meant to each other, what he had told her she still meant to him. It was just as ridiculous to think she could forgive and forget so easily after the way he treated her. They cleared the air, she wasn’t mad anymore, but it couldn’t ever really be like it was two years ago when they first met. Going back was impossible, they already established that, and apparently going forward wasn’t all that much easier.

“So, Lane invite you to see the new place?” he asked, thinking a subject change was the only way forward.

“Not specifically.” Rory shook her head. “It’ll probably be a while before I can get back to Stars Hollow. I have to catch up on some stuff after being sick and everything.”

Jess nodded. “I should probably offer to help her with the moving in and everything. She’s been pretty decent to me since I’ve been back.”

“Lane always liked you.” Rory smiled. “She didn’t always want to, but she did.”

Their eyes met across the table as she spoke, more by accident than design, and Jess couldn’t help but wonder if she was only talking about Lane now. Sure as anything, he wasn’t going to ask for fear of hearing a truth that wasn’t what he wanted.

“You have classes this afternoon?” he asked instead.

Rory checked her watch and blew out a sigh.

“In a half hour,” she admitted sadly. “Sorry. I kinda hoped to give you the tour if you ever visited me, but today isn’t the greatest day.”

“No big deal. There’ll be other days,” said Jess, waving away her concern. “Now, c’mon, let’s get you back to school, Miss Yale Student,” he said, smirking the way he always did.

Maybe they couldn’t go back to what they were, but Rory couldn’t give up on the moving forward. This was Jess after all, and he meant way too much for her to let go of him now he was finally back. Whether that made her smart or not she didn’t know, but frankly, right now, Rory couldn’t much care.


	9. Chapter 9

“Thank you for this, Jess. Really, we appreciate it,” said Lane as she directed him and Zach.

They were bringing bunk beds into the living room of the bands' new apartment, the ones Brian and Zach would be using whilst Lane took the bedroom for herself. Since most of the furniture was leftover from Brian’s parents’ house, it was weird that he wasn’t helping to carry it, but all the complaints about his asthma and various muscles he was afraid of straining led to Jess taking over.

Lane was definitely grateful. As much as she was all for sisters doing it for themselves, she was pretty sure she wouldn’t be much use lifting bed frames and cabinets.

“Yeah, pretty cool having another dude around for the heavy lifting,” said Zach, shooting a significant look at Brian.

“I can’t help it if I have health problems,” his friend replied defensively, taking a deep breath through his inhaler.

“Nobody is saying that you can help it, Brian,” Lane assured him. “We’re just grateful to Jess for his help.”

“No problem,” the man himself shrugged, wiping his hands on his jeans, the bunk beds now in place. “This place isn’t so bad.”

“Thanks, we like it.” Lane grinned. “Does it measure up to your place in New York?”

“Man, I would kill to live in the city!” Zach cut in, clapping his hands together with excitement. “Can you imagine that?”

“Oddly enough, yes,” said Jess, wondering if this guy even remembered who he was talking to.

“Er, Zach? Could you maybe get some of these boxes moved into my room? Please?” Lane asked him sweetly.

Jess smirked at her best damselling and turned away so Zach wouldn’t notice. Brian even pitched in, picking up two cushions and a plastic bag of records to carry through.

“I’m sorry but you do know you’re going to be playing mommy to those two now you all moved in together, right?”

“God help me. Literally,” said Lane, rolling her eyes. “But hey, enough about me. How about you? I mean, you came back to town to pick up your car, and here we are two weeks later, no sign of you leaving again. What’s that about?”

“I don’t know, Jessica Fletcher, you pickin’ up any clues yet?” asked Jess, tilting his head as he looked at her. “Did Rory ask you to find out what my plans are?”

It was genuine curiosity that made Jess ask such a question, and he made sure to smile when he looked at Lane. He really wasn’t mad about her line of questioning. In fact, it was kind of nice that anybody even cared what he was doing with his life. He never did have a whole lot of friends, but he and Lane had become something akin to that lately. He wouldn’t accuse her of anything underhand, he just wondered if it was her that was asking or somebody whose opinion mattered even more to Jess.

“Rory has been so busy lately, I’ve barely talked to her at all,” said Lane, waving away his question as if it were just so stupid. “But honestly? She is part of the reason I asked. Not that she requested that I did ask you, but... Well, she is my best friend, Jess, and trying to get over you was tough on her. She never said it exactly like that, but I know it.”

“For what it’s worth, it was no picnic for me either,” he said, distracting himself with moving around boxes that probably would’ve done just as well where they were before. “She said she was over me?” he asked then, never once glancing at Lane.

“No,” she replied, gaining is attention in a second. “But then Rory doesn’t lie.”

Their eyes met and Jess was pretty sure he knew exactly what Lane was saying but never got a chance to clarify as Zach and Brian literally walked through the middle of the conversation.

It was weird to think that Rory never got over his leaving. Jess just assumed she would have, especially after they talked on her Graduation Day and she declared she certainly planned to forget all about him. Since he had been back, she’d been friendly and that wasn’t nothing. They talked things over and began again in a new way, but there had been no talk of them ever getting back to a romantic relationship. Sure, Jess had declared his love for Rory that second night, but no more had ever been said on the subject. He wondered if Lane even knew about that declaration. Jess sure as hell wasn’t going to ask.

“Hey, man?” he said to Zach, tapping his shoulder to stop him bickering with Brian. “You got other furniture to bring in here?”

“Er, yeah,” he replied, nodding his head, soon taking Jess outside to retrieve more stuff from the back of a van down the street.

Lane watched the guys go, Brian chasing after them with plans to help that would probably turn into hindrance, however unintentional.

Jess still loved Rory. Even if Lane hadn't been told that he came out and said as much the second night he was here, she would know just from the way he acted. It was no surprise to Lane, and she couldn’t hate the idea of her best friend getting back together with Jess. When things were good with those two, they were off-the-chart good, and Lane couldn’t remember Rory ever being happier than in the best of times with Jess.

Reaching for the phone, Lane dialled Rory’s cell and waited for her to pick up. She was glad to hear her voice after only one ring.

“Hey, it’s Lane. Guess what? We’re actually moving in to the apartment!” she enthused. “How awesome is that?”

“Very awesome,” Rory agreed with a grin that was practically audible. “I can’t wait to come see the place.”

“Are you free later today?” asked Lane.

“Um, well, I don’t have any more classes but I have a ton of studying and an essay... I’m pretty crammed, sorry. Hopefully I’ll make it over this weekend though.”

“Well, that’s soon enough, I guess. At least by then the place should look a little less dump site, a little more homey. The guys are doing their best but they’re really only good for heavy lifting.”

“Brian is good for heavy lifting?” Rory checked, the amusement clear in her voice.

“No, he leaves all that to Zach and Jess,” said Lane very deliberately. “You knew Jess was helping us out, right? He’s been a real God-send today.”

“Oh, that’s good” said Rory awkwardly. “I, er... He said something about volunteering to help out.”

“He’s here,” Lane confirmed. “Did you wanna say hi?” she asked as the guys came literally crashing back through the door with a small set of bookshelves between them.

“No, no. I mean, no, that’s fine. I’m sure I’ll see him soon.” 

She sounded so overly awkward, Lane couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t just Jess that still had the feelings for Rory, they were totally reciprocated, Lane was sure on that.

“Well, yeah, I guess he’ll still be here by then, but who knows, right?” she said, turning her back so that the guys wouldn’t hear.

Not that they were likely to when they were all bickering over where to put the futurnitre in the living room. Jess was trying to stay out of it since it was none of his business, but Zach and Brian seemed determined to have him take sides one way or the other.

“So, we’ll see you this weekend?” said Lane to Rory.

“Sure, yeah, I’ll see you then,” she agreed.

“I’ll let you get back to your studies. Bye, Rory.”

Lane hung up then and over at Yale Rory did the same. For a long while she sat at her desk, holding the phone in her hand and wondering what just happened. Lane seemed very Team Jess all of sudden, which wasn’t so weird, she supposed. As much as Lane was all sister solidarity when Jess hurt Rory by leaving without so much as a goodbye, Rory knew her best friend always liked her ex in so many ways. They had a lot in common, music taste, some movies and the like, plus they both loved Rory.

Putting her phone down at last, Rory turned her attention back to the essay she was writing. Her eyes wouldn’t focus on the page. The words from her conversation with Lane kept on echoing in her mind, particularly the part where Lane made the off-hand comment about Jess maybe not being around much longer. It was true enough that he could up and leave Stars Hollow at any time. He’d done it before, and he would probably do it again, especially since he had somewhere specific to go this time. New York was his home now, as it had always been in a lot of ways, Rory supposed. He had an apartment and a job, somewhere to be that wasn’t Stars Hollow. It made a dull ache in Rory’s chest just thinking about it, and the more she pondered the idea of Jess disappearing from her life again, the more it grew until it was a pain she couldn’t stand.

Picking up her cell again, she flipped through her contacts, finger hovering over the dial button when she reached his name. Cursing herself for being such a coward, she finally hit ‘call’ and waited a few moments. He answered on the second ring.

“Hey, Rory.”

“Hi, Jess,” she replied, clearing her throat because she found she couldn’t go on unless she did. “Um, I was just wondering if you have plans later?”

“Not really,” he admitted. “I mean, I’m almost done helping Zach, Brian, and Lane move into their new place, and Luke doesn’t need me at the diner today so...”

“So,” she picked up where he trailed off. “I was thinking maybe you’d like that tour of Yale that I promised you, and then maybe, I don’t know, we could go get dinner or something?”

Jess was silent too long on his end of the call and it made Rory worry. She hadn’t thought this through at all, which really wasn’t like her, but the idea of Jess going away again so soon, just when they were reconnecting as friends, it scared her into action. Now she was sat in uncomfortable silence wondering if she had just screwed up in the biggest way possible.

On Jess’ side of the call, his brain was running a mile a minute. Of course he wanted to spend time with Rory, he would be a complete fool if he didn’t. The problem was the severely undefined nature of their relationship. When they first met they became friends, and he had an interest in her that she was afraid to return for as long as Dean was hanging around. After that they dated, and then he left pretty abruptly. Since returning to the Hollow, Jess felt like he and Rory had found a new way to be friends, but he knew damn well he wanted more and still hoped that maybe Rory did to. Since reading minds wasn’t one of his skills, it was impossible to say for sure and there in lie the greatest problem.

“Jess?” Rory prompted when he was quiet altogether too long.

“Er, sure, yeah. I could drive over later,” he agreed eventually, feeling a little dumb for leaving her hanging so long. “When’s good for you?”

“Any time really. This essay is not going to happen today and I don’t have any more classes. I actually think it would be good for me to take an afternoon off.”

“Really? The great Rory Gilmore is putting R&R ahead of studying? How did this happen?” he asked with laughter in his voice. “I could never get you to cut class in high school.”

“Oh, but you did try,” she reminded him, giggling because she couldn’t help it. “You were pretty persuasive too.”

Jess bit his tongue so he wouldn’t answer that remark. He knew full well that Rory was probably regretting it already and blushing that pretty pink shade that she wore so well. Yes, he remembered how he used to try to persuade her to play hooky when they were dating, and one thing was for sure, his lips weren’t doing any talking.

“So,” he said eventually, deciding it was the noble thing to save her from her own awkwardness, “I’ll be over this afternoon, say two o'clock?”

“Sounds good,” she agreed, sounding relieved. “See you soon, Jess.”

“See you, Rory.”


	10. Chapter 10

“This is not what I thought would happen when I decided to play hooky today!” Lorelai exclaimed in Rory’s ear, so loudly she was forced to move the phone away so she wasn’t deafened.

“Mom, it cannot be that bad,” she told her. “I know Grandma can be a little intense-”

“Intense? Intense does not even begin to cover it today!” said Lorelai frantically. “She’s buying the entire mall, including a bunch of clothes and weird household items that I would never ever wear or want. I can’t get any sense out of her - it’s crazy!”

Rory heard a knock on the door and knew she was going to have to wrap this up. She wanted to be sympathetic to her mother, and honestly, she did feel bad she was stuck with Emily on the rampage. To be truthful, Rory was also a little worried about her grandmother’s state of mind, but she kind of didn’t want to have to go over to the mall and get involved right now.

“Mom, I hate to bale on you but...” she began to say, moving from her room into the living room and on to the door.

“But you have studying to do, I know.” Lorelai sighed. “I’m sorry I interrupted. The whole reason you didn’t come window shopping with me today was all the study, but I really, really needed to vent.”

“I understand, and it’s fine, really,” said Rory, unsure why she wasn’t correcting her mom as to what she really would be doing this afternoon, the stuff that definitely wasn’t studying.

Opening up the door, she shushed Jess with a silent gesture the moment he opened his mouth to speak, keeping the majority of her attention on the phone as Lorelai apologised again for distracting Rory.

“Okay, Mom. I’ll talk to you later, and please, try not to kill Grandma.”

Jess smirked at that comment as he came inside and took a seat when Rory gestured that he should. She soon hung up the phone, blowing her bangs off her forehead in frustration.

“That was a little weird,” she declared. “Apparently my grandma is getting a little nutty wth the plastic at the mall and Mom is stuck there with her.”

“Yeah, ‘cause Lorelai just hates shopping,” said Jess in full sarcasm mode.

“Mom hates any activity that involves her mother.”

“I can sympathise.”

Rory smiled at that, knowing that sympathy was two-fold, covering both his own mother as well as Emily.

“I’ll just be a sec,” she said, disappearing back into her room and pushing the door not-quite closed.

Jess leaned back into the couch cushions, trying not to think about the fact that Rory was barely ten feet away and probably changing clothes. He picked up a book from the table and leafed through the pages. It was something medical and therefore probably property of Paris. Jess put it down again fast.

“So, why the secrecy?” he called to Rory. “I mean, on the phone with your mom, you seemed pretty determined she didn’t know I was here. I thought we were over the whole her-hating-me phase?”

“It’s not about you!” Rory yelled from the bedroom. “It’s just... Well, I made a big deal about all the studying I had to do today, especially this morning when mom invited me to ditch and go with her to the mall,” she explained, returning to the living room in the same pants but a different top, and a purse on her shoulder. “I felt weird about telling her that I wouldn’t put off my books for her but I did for you.”

“Well, for the record, I do feel honoured” said Jess, getting to his feet. “And I won’t tell Lorelai you cut out on your studies today. Scout’s honour,” he promised with a hand gesture to go along with.

“Pretty sure that’s the wrong hand,” said Rory with a grin she couldn’t help.

“See, if only I’d gotten into Yale too, then I’d know as much as you do.”

“C’mon, wise guy!” Rory grabbed him by his jacket and pulled him towards the door. “You may not be going to school here, but you are about to get the full-on Rory Gilmore tour, so put on your listening ears and get your butt in gear.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Jess as he followed her out.

Rory Gilmore could pretty much say anything she wanted and drag him wherever she felt like taking him, Jess Mariano would listen and he would go, more than willingly. Maybe that made him an idiot, but it was one truth Jess knew for sure, and he had no wish to change it.

One thing was for sure, Rory did not disappoint Jess in the tour she gave him of the campus. He wasn’t hugely excited by old architecture and stories about the men that started the college; however, Jess had always been a fan of Rory’s enthusiasm for all things educational. The way she got so worked up over a particular bench or monument, the way she talked about her teachers and classes like they were the best things ever, it was impossible not to fall in love with her all over again. In the library, Jess actually thought he was going to excuse himself to go hose himself down with ice water. Rory got so worked up about the books it was practically sinful. He had almost forgotten how hot that was.

When finally the tour concluded, back where they started outside Rory’s dorm room, it was right around dinner time.

“Thank you for that insightful tour,” said Jess, leaning on the wall by her door.

“Don’t mock,” she protested, swatting him across the shoulder.

“I’m not!” he insisted. “Nobody describes statues of old men and the inner workings of the cafeteria the way you do, Ror.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound like mocking at all,” she told him, rolling her eyes. “I am glad you got to see this place though. It’s a big part of my life and you... well, you’re a part of my life too.”

Jess didn’t know how to answer that. He had been what she would've called a big part of her life once, but things were different now. The awkward still seeped in here and there, specifically here in this moment. He hated that it had to be that way, and it was clear from the look on her face that Rory hated it too.

The tension was broken in a second when Rory’s stomach growled loudly.

“Wow, that’s embarrassing” she declared, turning pink.

“Honestly? I’m surprised I’m not making the same sound by now,” said Jess, checking his watch. “We said we were getting dinner, right? Does that mean back to the cafeteria?”

“It doesn’t have to,” Rory considered. “I was thinking maybe we could drive into New Haven, find a place to eat. You bought last time, so it would be my treat.”

“Okay.” Jess smiled. “But if you’re buying, I’m driving.”

“It’s a deal,” Rory agreed. “Let’s go.”

They headed out together without even going into the dorm. Jess was glad, since he didn’t know what they might encounter in there. Paris had already made it clear she would have the knives drawn for a while yet, and then there were Rory’s other two room-mates that sounded like a barrel of monkeys. Besides, for the time being, Jess felt safer not being anywhere near Rory’s bedroom and suspected she felt much the same after the other day when that was exactly where they found themselves. Better to stick to neutral territory until they got more comfortable with each other again.

Rory smiled as she climbed into the passenger side of the car and put on her safety belt.

“It’s exactly the same,” she said, noting the familiar stack of CDs in the space behind the gearshift, and one of Jess’ jackets thrown in the back seat.

She frowned then when she noted there were a couple of boxes back there too. Rory was sure they hadn’t been there before. They couldn’t have been, because her mom had found Jess sleeping in his back seat that first night.

“What?” asked Jess when he caught her staring before he had even managed to put the car in gear.

“The boxes,” she said curiously. “What are they?”

“My stuff.” Jess shrugged, exiting the car park without another word.

“All your stuff?”

“Just the boxes that wouldn’t fit in the trunk.”

Rory was still frowning as they headed out into New Haven to look for a diner or restaurant they might go to for dinner. Jess had taken his essentials when he left last year and more had been sent on by Luke when he was settled. Now all the things that she suspected should be in an apartment in New York were in the back of the car.

“What’s on your mind, Ror?” Jess asked, looking sideways at her for as long as he dare without crashing the car. “You’ve got that look on your face that says you want to ask something else.”

“I was just... I’m trying to figure out how and why all your stuff is in the car. Shouldn’t it be in New York?”

“Nope,” said Jess simply, checking the rear-view before he pulled into a parking spot outside a row of stores. He shut off the engine and turned a little in his seat to face her. “I lost my apartment in New York, because I lost my jobs in New York. I had to go pick up my stuff a couple of days ago, so now it’s here until I figure out my next move.”

Rory’s eyes grew wide at the explanation, but she didn’t get a chance to ask further questions as Jess got out of the car and came around to her side to open the door like a gentleman.

Rory hopped out of the car and looked around. She wasn’t absolutely sure where they were or what Jess had in mind when they stopped. There were at least three eateries in easy walking distance from where they were standing right now, and since she had never used any of them, she had no idea which to choose.

“You up for diner food?” Jess began. “Or we could-?”

“Diner food is fine.” Rory nodded, following him down the street and into the establishment inventively called ‘Sloppy Joes’.

“Please, Rory,” he urged her as they joined the line at the counter. “Don’t go all weird on me about this. It’s no big deal.”

“It’s no big deal?” she echoed incredulously. “Jess, you’ve left New York. You said you were back in Stars Hollow for a few days and then I kind of assumed you were going back to your life in the city.”

“What life?” he scoffed. “Seriously, if you had seen the place I was living, how I was living?” he said, shaking his head. “The whole thing was just some dumb attempt to prove I could make it on my own, and apparently I can, but it was not fun. I’m not saying being back in Stars Hollow is a permanent arrangement for me but for right now? I’m okay with seeing where life takes me.”

“You’ll live where you live, you’ll work when you need money,” said Rory, smiling in spite of herself. “I remember the speech.”

“And I remember yours,” he told her perhaps a little too seriously. “I know you wanted better for me, but I’m okay, Rory. I swear, I’m okay.”

“I know,” she agreed, nodding her head. “You’re always okay.”

Their eyes met in this strange moment that neither wanted to break, because for maybe the first time since he’d been back it didn’t feel so awkward and strange. It was as if they were back in high school, driving around with ice-cream in cones, sitting on the bridge over the lake arguing Hemingway vs. Rand...

“Excuse me?” said a voice, breaking the moment in a second. “Did you wanna order?” asked the guy behind the counter.

“Oh, yeah. Yes, we do,” said Rory, literally face-palming.

Jess had to physically shake his head in order to get back to the present and out of his Rory-induced haze. They ordered their food fast to prevent further embarrassment and then went over to grab a table and wait. The awkward was about to seep back in, and Jess thought fast to keep it from happening.

“So, you read anything good lately? That’s not for school, I mean.” 

Rory smiled and launched into a discussion on one of her very favourite topics. This was how she remembered things being with Jess, how she liked them to be. Everything else could be figured out later.

The food arrived somewhere in the book discussion, and was eaten throughout the segue into movies and music. By the time they had exhausted those topics, the last of the fries were cold and too many cups of coffee and soda had been drained. Three different busboys had come by the table in an effort to move Rory and Jess along and until the third one started muttering about turning over tables, neither of them noticed anything was wrong.

“Maybe we should go,” said Rory, checking her watch. “Wow, we really have been sat here a long time.”

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” Jess noted easily.

They paid for their food and then headed out, back towards the car. They didn’t make it. Rory’s feet stopped outside the most obvious of stores to catch her interest and Jess halted a step behind her.

“The new Gabriel Allon!” she gasped, pointing in through the glass. “I’ve been waiting for it to come out.”

“So go in and buy it,” he suggested, heading for the door.

“No.” Rory shook her head, surprising Jess to no end. “I can’t just buy a non-school book, Jess. I’m in college now, funds are limited.”

“Rory, it’s one book!” he insisted. “Look, I’ll even buy it for you, but you should splurge a little. It’s one book, that won’t break the bank.”

“You’re a bad influence, Mariano,” she told him, smirking because she just couldn’t help it.

“Yes, corrupting you into reading. I’m a terrible person,” he dead-panned, opening the door to the store and ushering her inside.

Rory laughed but went in anyway and picked up her book. Whilst she was at the counter paying, Jess spotted something else he knew she would love and grabbed it. He headed for the other cashier on the opposite side of the store to buy it, shoving the book inside his jacket before Rory caught up to him. She never had any idea what he had done until they were back in the car and he presented her with his gift.

“Here,” he said, dropping it into her lap.

“Jess, what did you do?” she gasped, picking up the volume from her lap.

“Stole you a book,” he said too seriously, almost cracking up when he saw the look on her face. “Relax, I paid for it at the other register. You like it, right?”

“You know I love Emily Dickinson, and this is the one book of hers I don’t have.”

“I know, I remember,” he said, putting on his seat-belt and starting the car.

Rory was staring at him long after they pulled away from the kerb and got into traffic. She had thought that someday Jess would stop surprising her, but maybe she was wrong about that. He had done so two and three times today alone. Rory kind of loved that he still could.

Jess almost told her to get the dumb grin off her face, but honestly, he liked seeing it there, and more so liked knowing he put it there. Rory was so overwhelmed, she hadn’t even remembered to say thank you yet. They were back at Yale before she came out of the daze his gift had seemingly put her into.

“Jess, thank you so much,” she said at last. “And not just for the book. Today has been so much fun. I forgot how much fun we used to have.”

“You’re welcome, Rory,” he told her sincerely. “Now, c’mon. I’ll walk you back to your dorm.”

She thought about protesting but he was already out of the car, coming around to open her door. It was dark out and just a little chilly. Rory pulled her jacket tighter around herself and hurried towards the building with Jess beside her. Once inside, it was just a few steps to the dorm and then the ‘date’, or whatever this was, had come to an end.

“Well, thank you, again,” she said, feeling strange as they faced each other to say goodnight.

“You’re welcome, again,” he replied in kind, hands shoved in his pockets so he didn’t do anything stupid.

Jess would love to do something right now, something that they both might regret later, but man, it was tempting. They really had shared a great afternoon together, a date for lack of a better term, and Rory seemed to enjoy it as much as Jess had. If this really were a date, it would make sense for it to end with a kiss, but making a move at this point probably wouldn’t be Jess’ greatest decision.

Deciding that walking away already would be his best bet, Jess moved to go, only to be stopped by Rory reaching out to grab his shoulder, pulling him forward to kiss his cheek. Jess was so surprised by the sudden movement that he turned his head slightly, and though it wasn’t a real kiss, Rory’s lips covered one side of his mouth for a second or two. She looked momentarily stunned when she pulled back and realised what happened.

Jess opened his mouth to say something, not even sure himself what it was going to be, but Rory was already unlocking her door and running inside.

“Goodnight, Jess!” she called over her shoulder, and then she was gone.

Jess stood and stared at the door a moment, before leaning over and letting his forehead hit the whiteboard with a thud.

“Goodnight, Rory,” he muttered, knowing she wouldn’t hear him anyway.

Whether what just happened was a good sign or a bad one, Jess really couldn’t say. It reminded him a little too much of an event at a wedding, more than a year before. That had led to good things eventually, but it had taken a long time to get there. Right now, all Jess could do was head back to the diner, and try to get some sleep. Somehow he doubted it would be a restful night.


	11. Chapter 11

Lorelai had been sat at the table a while, sipping her coffee and working her way through some inn paperwork, when Jess crossed her path.

“Refill?” he checked, waving the coffee pot in her general direction, “or did I just ask if the Pope is a Catholic?” he smirked.

“Pretty much.” Lorelai smiled, holding up her cup for him to fill. “So, how’re you, Jess?”

“I’ve been better, but then I’ve also been a whole lot worse,” he considered. “Living in a place with solid walls and a roof right now, so things are looking up.”

Lorelai nodded, watching as Jess turned to walk away, before suddenly calling him back. When he looked at her expectantly, Lorelai struggled with what she meant to say. It was still strange to her to look at Jess and see a real human being with feelings and such. A couple of years ago, even a couple of months ago, he was still the little punk who gave her attitude and broke Rory’s heart. It was strange how people could change, or maybe just how your perception could change if you let it.

“Thank you,” she said at last.

“For the coffee?” Jess checked, unsure what else she could mean.

“No, for Rory,” said Lorelai seriously. “I, er... We haven’t really had a chance to talk since it happened, but she told me that you were there for her, the day she had to drop a class? It was a pretty bad time for the both of us, and I just want you to know I’m glad you were there when Rory really needed a friend.”

“No problem.” He shrugged like it was nothing.

Lorelai smiled. “Y’know, you’re more than a little like Luke sometimes.”

Jess looked like he didn’t know what to do with that before just nodding once and walking away. Lorelai watched him go and sighed. She meant to pay a compliment, in a way, but maybe Jess hadn’t seen it that way. He was never the best at communicating, which she supposed was yet another trait he shared with Luke. Getting up from her table, Lorelai headed for the counter, towards the diner owner himself. Sure that Jess was far enough away not to hear, she spoke up.

“Hey, Luke. Is Jess okay?” she checked.

“Far as I know,” he replied. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I was being friendly, I swear, and I thought we were okay now, but he seems... I don’t know, a little weird today?”

“It’s Jess,” said Luke, like that was explanation enough. “All I know is he’s still here, he’s not giving me attitude, and that’s fine by me. Honestly, weird mood or not, it’s nice having him around. Good to know where he is and that he’s not dead in a gutter, you know?”

“Uh-huh.” Lorelai nodded her agreement, turning to watch Jess as he moved amongst the patrons of the diner.

Before she could get too lost in thought or even consider heading back to her table, Lorelai’s cell rang in her pocket. She hardly retrieved it before Luke was pointing at his ‘no cell phones’ sign and ushering her out the door.

“Mom?” said Lorelai as she took the call. “I’m not... What?”

Luke immediately stopped with his trying to throw Lorelai out when he heard the crack in her voice, spotting the tears that sprang to her eyes. He had seen that look before, a couple of Christmasses ago, when Richard was rushed to hospital with a suspected heart-attack. The second Lorelai was done with her call, he asked what was wrong.

“Um, apparently my grandmother just died,” she said, looking appropriately stunned by the sudden news. “Wow, um... I don’t know what to do with that. She was so... Gran was one of those people you just expected to live forever, y’know?”

She looked up at Luke like she was barely seeing him and he felt just awful. Without even thinking about it, he wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her close. Lorelai leaned all her weight into his chest for a few moments, just needing any kind of support and comfort until the shock wore off. Luke had to guess the old lady hadn’t been sick or anything or this wouldn’t have come as such a surprise. Lorelai didn’t talk much about her grandmother, only her parents, but Luke could tell she clearly cared about the woman who had so suddenly passed.

“I’m sorry,” she said, pulling out of Luke’s grasp in a moment. “I, er... I just wasn’t expecting this. I should go see my parents. Apparently my dad isn’t taking it well. Oh God, I don’t even know what to do here!”

“Hey, calm down,” Luke urged her, his hands at her shoulders when she started to flail some. “You’re not alone in this, now what do you need?”

Lorelai took a breath and thought for a second.

“To tell Rory, I guess,” she said at last, “but she’ll probably be in class.”

“Okay, well, you go to your parents’ house, be with your folks,” Luke suggested. “In fact, I’ll drive you.”

“I can drive” insisted Lorelai, shoving her things from the table into her bag without really paying attention to what she was doing.

“No, you can’t,” said Luke definitely. “Jess! I need you to cover for a while, I’m taking Lorelai to Hartford,” he called to his nephew who wandered over, looking suitably concerned.

“What happened?”

Lorelai was a little wild eyed as she looked up at him and declared; “My grandma died.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” said Jess, unsure what else to add.

“Thanks,” Lorelai muttered, shoving her bag on her shoulder.

Luke checked he had his keys to hand and went to get the door.

“If Rory calls you, could you tell her I need to speak to her,” said Lorelai, following Luke out but still speaking over her shoulder to Jess. “She doesn’t know yet and I should be the one to tell her.”

“Sure,” he agreed. “I doubt she’ll call me, but yeah, if she does, I’ll tell her.”

Lorelai and Luke were gone the next moment. Jess just stood there with the coffee pot in his hand staring after them for a while. He had no idea what it was to lose a grandparent, never mind a great-grandparent, but he did understand loss. Never having a father, living with a mother who wished she was anywhere but with him, it had an impact on a kid, on a young man like Jess.

Shaking his head, Jess took himself back to the task at hand. Seemed he was covering the diner alone until Luke got done in Hartford, and that was fine. He couldn’t help wondering about Rory, how she would take the news of her great-grandmother’s death. He hadn’t seen her in a few days, since their not-a-date that had ended in not-quite-a-kiss. All that would pale into insignificance now, he was sure, and maybe that was a good thing.

* * *

When his cell started buzzing on the end of the bed, Jess finished the last two lines on the page and shoved the marker into his book before reaching for the phone. Very few people had the number and Luke had already called to say he wasn’t going to be back tonight. After spending much of the afternoon with Lorelai and her folks, he had headed over to his supposed home with Nicole. Jess was on his own to close up the diner and spend the night. The only other likely candidate for calling was the very person on the end of the line.

“Rory,” he greeted her without any preamble, unsure what state she might be in.

“Hey, Jess,” she said sadly, tears evident in her voice. “Er, I guess you heard, my great-grandma died today.”

“I heard,” he confirmed, unsure what else to say that wouldn’t make her feel worse. “I’m sorry,” he tried, startled a little by the strange gurgle of laughter that came into his ear.

“Me too,” said Rory then. “It’s so weird, I mean, I met her. I guess you could say I knew her, in a way, but... but it wasn’t a real knowing, because we hardly spent any time together. I never got a chance to really get to know her, my own great-grandmother, and now she’s gone. Gone forever and I don’t get the chance to... to do anything.”

It broke Jess’ heart to hear her so sad. All he wanted was to be there at Rory’s side, holding onto her, letting her know everything was going to be okay. Twenty two point eight miles wasn’t far, but it was late already, and breaking onto the Yale campus maybe wouldn’t be his smartest move.

“I’m sorry,” he told her again, perhaps for her loss, perhaps for not being all she needed either now or before. “But hey, you’re probably the lucky one. I mean, at least you got to meet her, right? Not everybody meets their great-grandparents. Hell, I never even met one of my grandparents.”

“I guess” said Rory, before all that he had said must’ve sunk in. “You never had any grandparents?”

“Nah. Jimmy’s folks are long gone, so he said. Liz’s dad was still around when I was born, so Luke told me, but I was like a year old or something when he died, so I don’t remember.”

“I’m sorry, Jess,” said Rory too softly, too painfully - it hurt to hear.

“Hey, it is what it is.”

“Yeah.” Rory sighed. “I feel so strange. It’s like I’m sad but not as sad as I should be. I feel like I should be crying a lot more, but the tears aren’t coming. Is that horrible? Am I a horrible person?”

“Rory, you’ve never been a horrible person in your life and you know it,” said Jess firmly, rolling his eyes because they both knew she knew that already, just the grief had got her all crazy. “I’m not exactly an expert but I’m pretty sure there’s no handbook on grieving, no right way to do it. If you cry you cry and if you don’t, then you don’t. Nobody’s judging.”

“You’re right, I know you are,” she replied, a yawn overtaking the words by the end.

“You sound tired,” said Jess, knowing he was starting to feel the same as he reclined on his bed with one arm behind his head.

“A little, but I’m not sure I could sleep,” said Rory in his ear. “Paris is out tonight, and Mom is still with Grandma and Grandpa”

“So I’m a last resort, huh?”

“What? No, Jess, I-”

“I was kidding,” he told her fast, interrupting before Rory hit full-on panicked Gilmore ramble. “Sorry, I thought it’d help.”

“No, I’m sorry,” she said sleepily, the sound of creaking springs and such proving to Jess that she was lying down in her own bed. “Talk to me, Jess, about something else, anything else,” she urged him.

He didn’t know where to begin. All the thoughts in Jess’ head were too serious and messed up to put into words. Picturing Rory in her bed did things to him that weren’t appropriate right now. Thinking of her hurting and sad put a knife in his gut that was impossible to remove. Recalling the kiss they almost shared and the way she bolted brought on a myriad of questions best left unasked today of all days.

Rory wanted light and fluffy, an easy topic to take her mind off the tough stuff so she would be able to fall asleep. Jess knew he would never deny her anything, which led to him picking up his book from the nightstand and asking if she ever read it.

“I’ve been meaning to” she told him. “Is it good?”

“So far, yeah,” he told her. “Wanna hear the first page?”

She agreed easily to his suggestion, and Jess was four chapters in when he realised Rory was asleep. She stopped making comments several pages ago and now her even breathing was coming down the phone into his ear. A smile came to Jess’ lips that he couldn’t remove as he put the book back on the nightstand and whispered goodnight. Cutting off the call, he ran his hands over his face and thought about turning in himself.

He had just changed clothes and was about to crawl in under the covers when a noise downstairs caught his attention. Jess halted in place, startled but battle-ready for whatever came next. His eyes went to the baseball bat that Luke kept in the corner, but he relaxed again in a second when he heard familiar voices yelling.

“You said you came over to talk and then you just walk out!”

That was Nicole. Jess didn’t know her all that well but he could recognise her dulcet tones as she tore a lump out of her ‘husband’.

“That wasn’t talking, that was yelling, something I was trying to avoid by coming back here!”

Luke being married was so beyond crazed. Jess asked him once how the hell it had happened, but his uncle didn’t seem willing to talk about it.

“What? You expected me not to follow you? Well, expectations aren’t always met, Luke. I expected you to be home before ten o’clock at night, like you said you would be!”

“I was helping out with a family who are grieving, Nicole!”

“Yes, Lorelai’s family! It’s always about Lorelai, isn’t it, Luke? Well, maybe you should have married her instead of me!”

“Maybe I should’ve!”

Jess’ eyes widened at Luke’s quick response, but it didn’t surprise him that Nicole had made the suggestion. Nobody knew better than Jess how much Luke and Lorelai belonged together, and the whole town would agree that they were the only couple that made sense. It was nutty to think Luke could make marriage work with Nicole, or that Lorelai could ever really have something meaningful with anybody else either.

It suited Jess not to think too much about how right Lorelai had been when she said he wasn’t always so dissimilar to Luke. Rory had a lot in common with Lorelai too. The parallels were not lost on Jess, but he definitely, absolutely was not thinking about that right now. Unfortunately, even after the yelling downstairs stopped, he wasn’t exactly sleeping either.


	12. Chapter 12

“And you didn’t tell me this before, because...?” asked Luke, arms folded, foot tapping impatiently.

Jess felt defensive but fought the urge to lash out. At seventeen, when he first came here, he would have. He did, actually. Now he was older and supposed to be wiser and smarter. Luke was only mad at him because he cared, and Jess tried to remember that, no matter how much he wished he could yell in this moment.

“Because, telling you how I screwed up? Kinda not my favourite thing to do,” he said, reining in the sarcasm and snide just as much as he could. “Not to start up a pity ditty, but do you realise how many times we’ve stood across from each other in this room with you busting my ass for messing up my life?”

Luke visibly deflated at that remark. Sure, he knew how many times, or maybe it was even more than he was counting. For the longest time, Luke thought Jess was out to make him feel bad with his crazy behaviour, but things were different now. The kid was becoming a man, and God knows, Luke knew that didn’t come easy at so young an age. Maybe it wasn’t because of him that Jess was such a little punk these last couple of years. Maybe life just dealt him a bad hand and all he needed was to learn he had some support, somebody who believed in him.

“Okay,” said Luke after a few moments, adjusting his hat and running a hand over his face. “Very calm, very fair,” he said, more to himself than to Jess, before finally addressing his nephew. “You lost your job?”

“Both of them.” Jess nodded. “Which led to losing the apartment. Honestly? I could care less about it if I had any other place to go.”

“Jess, you know you always have a place here. Always,” said Luke definitely.

“Not what I heard,” he countered, shaking his head.

“Well, things have changed some since the whole dropping out of school, Wal-Mart debacle. Besides, if this last week helping Lorelai and Rory get through Old Lady Gilmore’s death has taught us anything, shouldn’t it be that family is too important for all this other crap to get in the way?”

“Does Hallmark know about you?” Jess smirked at his own joke.

Eventually, Luke smiled. “You know what I mean.”

“So, it’s cool if I stay here a while longer? I mean, I’m gonna figure things out, get a job, get a place of my own,” he explained. “Might take some time is all.”

“Jess, you have a job here and a place to stay just as long as you need,” Luke confirmed without hesitation. “There’s just one thing I gotta ask though. You spent the entire time you were here the first time wanting nothing better than to get out of Stars Hollow. You begged me to come back, right here in this room, and then, once again, couldn’t wait to get away. Why are you back and determined to stay now?”

It wasn’t a huge surprise when no immediate response came from Jess. The guy wasn’t much of a talker, which Luke well understood since usually he was much the same. Still, he really wanted an answer to his question, and they were going to stand here just as long as it took for him to get one. It didn’t come verbally, but the way Jess couldn’t look at him, that particular expression on his face, Luke had seen it before.

“No! Rory? Still?” he checked, wide-eyed and amazed.

“Seriously?” Jess countered. “You’re that shocked about it?”

“I’m not shocked, I just... Well, I don’t know, I just thought that was over when you left and... and clearly I was wrong,” Luke rambled a little, suddenly feeling a little out of his depth. “Um, so what happened?”

“I came back, picked up my car, and... and told her I loved her,” said Jess, the last part all but mumbled out so Luke had to strain to hear him.

“You... you did,” he said, nodding his head. “But things aren’t...? I mean, you two are...?”

“We’re friends, or whatever. I don’t know,” admitted Jess, pinching the bridge of his nose like he felt a headache coming on. “Honestly? I have no idea what’s going on. I just know I need to be here right now. I wanna be here,” he said, shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal.

Luke knew better. It was a very big deal that Jess was back, more so that he wanted to stay, especially when Rory was his main reason for everything. It was clear when they were together that the kids had something special, but when it all fell apart and Jess walked away, Luke figured that was that. Clearly he had it all wrong.

“Okay,” he said eventually. “Like I said, you can stay, as long as you want, but... but just be careful, Jess,” he advised kindly. “For your sake as much as for Rory’s.”

His nephew clearly hadn’t expected that last remark, sure that Luke was much more worried about him screwing up things for Rory rather than himself. Apparently, he still mattered. That still had the ability to surprise Jess Mariano.

“Thanks, Luke,” he said, finding a smile. “I appreciate it.”

“No problem, kid,” he replied, deliberately using a word he knew annoyed his nephew.

It was clear that they had a good talk and that things were going to be cool. No need to hold hands and skip or anything.

* * *

“Ooh, boxes!” exclaimed Lorelai as she spotted Jess coming through the diner. “You didn’t have to buy me a gift, it’s not even my birthday,” she teased him.

“You want a teenager’s books and dirty socks?” asked Luke, looking vaguely amused.

“Meh, not so much.” Lorelai shrugged, giving her attention back to her coffee.

Jess just smirked and kept on walking, taking the last of his things up to the apartment. On his way, he told Luke he would be back down fast, knowing his uncle needed to get to the wholesaler before too much longer. Good as his word, he returned within five and Luke left with a wave. Lorelai watched him go then turned her attention to Jess.

“You guys taking turns on the whole moody thing?” she checked. “I mean, last week you’re in a funk, this week it’s Luke. What gives?”

“He’s fine.” Jess shrugged.

It was clear to him that Lorelai did not believe that for a second. Her eyes were burning into the top of his head when he kept his eyes on the counter a while. Jess had no choice but to eventually meet her gaze and admit defeat.

“You know he and Nicole have been fighting, right?”

“I heard talk.” Lorelai nodded sadly. “Heard some of the yelling too.”

“Imagine living here,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “I thought when she stopped coming around it’d be better but... I don’t know. Why’d they even get married in the first place?”

“Must’ve seemed like a good idea at the time.” Lorelai shrugged.

Jess watched her a moment and noticed how wholly uncomfortable she seemed on this topic. As if Luke was the only one in a messed up relationship that just needed fixing, stat. Luke and Lorelai were very much the same in so many ways. Somehow mentioning that he had heard some pretty serious marital yelling that involved her name seemed wrong to Jess. Instead he changed the subject.

“So, is Rory doing okay?” he asked conversationally, hoping his true feelings didn’t show too much as he concentrated on cleaning down the already spotless counter. “I haven’t heard from her the last few days. Thought maybe she’d be home for Spring Break already.”

“Oh, she didn’t tell you?” asked Lorelai, looking genuinely surprised. “She and Paris and some other friends from Yale are headed for Florida.”

“Florida? For Spring Break?” echoed Jess, eyes wide as saucers. “And this is Rory? Our Rory?”

Lorelai tried not to smile too much at the use of the word ‘our’, but she didn’t comment on it at all.

“Yup, our Rory,” she confirmed. 

“Huh,” said Jess, not that Lorelai expected a different response.

It was kind of tough seeing him look hurt. It was strange when Lorelai considered how much she had actively wanted to cause pain to one Jess Mariano not so long ago, but things sure had changed lately. He had changed some, though maybe not all that much. Maybe Lorelai had just had a chance to get to know the side of Jess that Rory had always seen before.

The moment she realised she was staring at the poor guy, Lorelai looked away, concentrating on her coffee and newspaper a moment. She hadn’t had a chance to read it earlier, and remembering why made her stop and think too hard. Jess must have noticed her frowning because he called her on it.

“Crossword puzzle too tough for you today?” he checked, only half joking.

“What? Oh, no,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s been kind of a weird day so far is all. I, er... I was dating this guy, Jason. He’s my Dad’s business partner, so it’s all a little awkward. Anyway, this morning I...” she stopped talking, instead making a slicing motion across her throat to demonstrate giving her relationship the chop.

Jess looked surprised, and then something akin to sympathetic.

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Lorelai insisted, before he could say a word. “It was my decision. I mean, there he was offering me a key to his place, and all I could think was ‘this is wrong’, y’know? This isn’t how a relationship is supposed to be,” she said, shaking her head sadly. “I mean, he’s a nice guy, but sometimes it’s just not... It’s not enough.”

Jess nodded like he understood, though quite honestly he didn’t really have that much by way of a frame of reference. He had dated plenty, but never anything serious, save for Rory, and certainly their break up hadn’t been a straightforward case. All he knew right now was that Lorelai wasn’t feeling so great about herself, and presumably he was supposed to help with that in the absence of Luke or Rory.

“You did what you had to do,” he said eventually. “No use stringing the guy along, right?”

“That’s what I thought,” said Lorelai, forcing a smile. “I did the right thing, I know I did, but... relationships are just hard.”

“Amen to that,” Jess agreed, the words out of his mouth before he had really considered their implication or what Lorelai would think about him.

It was clear enough that if he was talking relationships he was thinking of Rory and they both knew it. She was the only girl he ever loved, or even cared about, truth be told. Anyone who came before was just a passing fancy, nothing serious, just someone to hang out with, make out with, whatever. Rory was so very much more. In fact, to Jess she was more or less everything.

“I still can’t believe Rory is in Florida for Spring Break,” he said out-loud. “That’s so not her.”

“Yeah, I thought it was weird too,” Lorelai agreed easily, waving her coffee cup around until Jess noticed and refilled it, “but maybe it'll be good for her to do something all the other college kids are doing.”

“Maybe,” said Jess, filling her cup to the brim.

When he moved to turn away, Lorelai caught his arm.

“Hey, she’s not the type to jump the bones of some unsuspecting fellow breaker. The bathing suit she took with her? Should’ve come with a wimple! There is no way she’s going out there to get sloppy with some Beach Boys types. You know this,” she told Jess firmly.

He met her eyes a second and then shook his head. 

“None of my business if she did,” he said, moving to put the coffee pot back in place.

“Oh, sure. I mean, you wouldn’t care at all,” said Lorelai, sarcasm in full effect.

“Like I said, none of my business.” Jess shrugged, moving away to serve other patrons of the diner.

Lorelai watched him go and shook her head. The kid still had it bad for Rory, that much was more than clear. Quite honestly, Lorelai was starting to think maybe it would be the best thing for Jess and Rory to actually give it another try. They had everything against them before. Her ex hanging around, disapproval from just about everyone, Lorelai and Luke included. Now things had changed, everybody was a little older, a little wiser, and a little bit more willing to make the best of a situation that sure had been made the worst of before. Maybe it could work out this time, but only time would tell.


	13. Chapter 13

Rory wasn’t sure how she was feeling about the whole Spring Break thing. When she and Paris arrived at two o’clock yesterday morning, she was just grateful for the warmth that Florida brought. Neither of them were exactly party girls, as evidenced by the fact they stayed in last night to eat pizza and watch The Power of Myth, but their company was certainly in the spirit of things.

Running into Madeline and Louise had been a real shock. Not that it wasn’t great to see them, but they were a stark reminder to Rory that she was not the Spring Breaker type. It was one long whirligig of fun for girls like them, lounging by the pool, making out with each other to get what they wanted, scoping out all the hot guys. There were a lot of those. Rory had to admit, the view was a pretty one, and yet she was in no hurry to throw herself into that scene. Instead, at this particular moment, she was talking on her cell to Lorelai about what appeared to be two guys in a pool fighting with giant Q-Tips.

“I’d describe it better if I could,” she told her bewildered mother, “But that’s just exactly what they look like - giant Q-Tips.”

“Well, that certainly sounds like a riot,” said Lorelai, sarcastic as ever. “You sure you haven’t had a drink and that’s why you think you see giant Q-Tips?” she asked.

Rory wasn’t entirely listening. There was this one guy, she had seen him a couple of times now and he seemed to like smiling at her. There was no question he was insanely cute, enough to at least throw Rory out of her conversation.

“Er, hello?” said her mom in her ear. “Where’d you go? Did something cute walk by?”

“What? No!” said Rory quickly, and certainly loudly enough to attract the attention of her friends.

Mindful of their listening in, she got up from her sun lounger and wandered away, trying to find any kind of quiet spot. That sure didn’t come easy, until Rory discovered one lonely table in a corner that was all shade. She sat down and sighed.

“I don’t think I should’ve come here,” she said sadly.

“Well, I gotta admit, I thought it was a little strange that you of all people wanted to do the Florida Spring Break thing, but honey, aren’t you having at least a little fun?”

Rory sighed again. She was having fun in a way, she supposed, and she was definitely appreciating the warmth in the air as compared to the Arctic-like conditions back home. Still, something wasn’t sitting right with her, and she had a terrible feeling she knew exactly what it was.

“How’re things there?” she asked Lorelai. “You been to the diner today?”

“Hon, there’s a y in the day, of course I’ve been to the diner,” she told her. “Luke is kinda grumpy the past couple of days, but hey, he’s Luke. Jess is still here, seems like he might be staying a while.” 

“Yeah, I heard that.”

“Uh-huh. Y’know I think he was a little bummed that you didn’t tell him about your trip,” said Lorelai then, trying not to smile.

The fact was she had a feeling at least some of the funk Rory had gotten herself into had to do with Jess. Certainly his less than stellar mood of late had to be down to the fact Rory wasn’t around. He was awful jealous of the idea his non-girlfriend might be getting up close and friendly with other guys in sunnier climes. Something was definitely going on.

“I don’t have to tell Jess all my plans,” said Rory too harshly. “I mean, it’s not like we’re dating or anything, he’s just my friend, like Lane is my friend, and Paris. And yes, I did tell Lane I was coming here, and Paris is here with me, but I didn't deliberately not to tell Jess, I just... It was all kind of a rush, you know this.”

“Sure, sure. I know it,” Lorelai placated her. “I just thought I’d mention that he seemed bummed. Like you said, you’re not dating or anything. Not that I wouldn’t be cool if you were.”

“Really?” Rory checked. “Because you were so cool the last time.”

Lorelai laughed, she couldn’t help it. “Yeah, well, people change, kid. Jess has grown up some, and I think he and I have both gained a little perspective on each other. Y’know, sweets, I’m sorry if I made things tough when you and Jess were together before. I swear, I tried not to.”

“I know. It wasn’t your fault things happened the way they did.”

There was a pause when Lorelai wasn’t sure whether Rory was going to say more or not. When she realised she was done, she spoke instead.

“So, you and Jess are just friends now, huh? No more, no less?”

“I... I don’t know,” Rory told her honestly, a hand on her forehead that ached just from thinking about the uber-awkward situation. “Um, you remember a couple of weeks ago when you got stuck in the mall with grandma?”�“I have tried to repress, and yet.”

“Well, I was supposed to be studying. I was studying for a while, and then Lane called and she was telling me about her new apartment. She mentioned Jess was helping with the moving in, and then she made this comment about how he might not be sticking around for long.”

“But now we know he is.”

“Yeah, now we know, but I didn’t then and... and so I decided that I needed to spend time with him, while I had the chance, because... because I missed him when he was gone, Mom. I really did.”

“I know you did, honey,” Lorelai sympathised. “So you guys went out that day? Because you should know that while I’m being very cool about this now I’m going to be looking for payback later after you left me with Emily at the mall all day for studying which you then in fact did not do!”

“Duly noted,” Rory agreed, smiling because she couldn’t help it. “So yes, me and Jess hung out that day. I showed him the Yale campus and then we went into New Haven for dinner. He bought me a book.”

There was a smile in her voice when she spoke of it and Lorelai could hear it as clearly as if she could see her daughter right now. It made her heart ache in a way she couldn’t possibly describe. To be young and in love, it was a wonderful feeling, one that Lorelai hadn’t known in way too long.

“So, it was date-like?” she checked.

“I... Not really. I don’t know,” Rory admitted after a while. “When we got back to my dorm and said goodnight there was... well, there was kind of a kiss.”

“A kiss?” Lorelai gasped. “Seriously? There was a development as big as kiss and I am only finding out about this two weeks later?! Yale has changed you, young lady!”

“Mom, it was not a big deal. At least, I don’t think it was,” admitted Rory. “It was supposed to be this meaningless kiss on the cheek but he kind of moved and there was a little lip-on-lip thing, but it was over super fast and I kind of bolted into my room.”

“Wow,” said Lorelai. “Well, how’ve things been since then?”

“Fine. I mean, we’re still texting some, talking a little. You know how great Jess was when Gran...” she said, voice trailing away. “Well, it’s like we’re just really good friends, and I love it, but I keep wondering what he’s thinking and then I wonder what I’m thinking and I’m not even sure anymore.”

“Oh, honey.” Lorelai sighed. “If it’s requiring this much thought, I’m thinking maybe we’re in the more-than-friends territory.”

Rory knew that was true. She knew it before Lorelai ever said it and that was what bothered her. She and Jess had been friends before, and then decidedly more than that. When he came back to the Hollow a few weeks ago, she had hoped for that friendship again, but had told herself there would be nothing more than that. Realising she was wrong was kind of scary and yet thrilling at the same time.

“Rory? Babe?”

“I’m here,” she confirmed at the sound of her mother’s worried tone. “Sorry, I was... Mom, do you think I’m crazy?”

“Crazy for Spring Breaking?”

“No, not that. Well, maybe that, but... but do you think I’m crazy for thinking about Jess in a more-than-friends way?”

Lorelai paused for thought before answering that one. It was such a loaded question in some ways, and yet she knew the only response she could give right away.

“I think that you and Jess have a whole lot of history, and maybe more than a little unfinished business,” she told Rory. “I also think that whatever you choose to do, whether that’s dating Jess or not, I’m not going to get in the way of that, Rory,” she promised. “I want your happiness, babe, always. Whatever makes you happy? That’s what I want.”

Rory smiled at that, looking up at the view of the pool when there was a huge splash and three people pulled each other into the water. The cute guy from before was laughing at the scene and then looked her way, still grinning.

“Thanks, Mom,” she told Lorelai, averting her gaze. “I love you.”

“Love you too, sweets.”

They ended their call a few moments later. Rory got up and shivered as she stepped out of the shade, glad to feel the sun on her skin again. She headed back to the edge of the pool where she had left the others but they seemed to be long gone.

“Thanks a lot,” she muttered, looking around in all directions, but neither Paris nor Madeline and Louise were anywhere to be seen.

“Looking for me?” said a voice.

Rory turned so fast, she almost fell and probably would’ve landed in the water if not for a strong arm catching hold of her. It was the same guy from before, still smiling at her, still being cute as anything.

“I’m sorry,” he said of startling her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she assured him, extracting herself from his grip fast. “I was just looking for my friends,” she added, making to move away.

It was sort of flattering that he looked disappointed, Rory supposed, but she didn’t care all that much, truth be told.

“Oh. Okay,” he said as she went. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

“Maybe,” she called over her shoulder, stopping on the stairs to look back at him then. “Oh, you don't know what the real name for those giant Q-Tip things are, do you?” she asked, gesturing to the pool.

“No, sorry. I don’t.”

Rory nodded and then turned to ascend the stairs. She didn’t look back a second time.

* * *

It was getting late and Jess had just got done closing up the diner. He wasn’t expecting Luke who had already called and said he was staying over at Nicole’s place in Litchfield. The phrasing still amused him. Jess knew as well as everybody else did that Luke paid for at least half of that townhouse and it was supposed to be a marital home. That was such a joke in the circumstances. Honestly, after all the fights, he was amazed that Luke even wanted to spend a night with Nicole, unless they felt the need for another real intense argument. Jess couldn’t care much. It was none of his business anyhow.

Heading upstairs, Jess reclined on his bed with a copy of The Sun Also Rises. He always loved Hemingway, and yet since meeting Rory, or moreover since a certain discussion with her on a certain bridge over a certain picnic basket, good old Ernest had become intrinsically linked with Rory in Jess’ mind. It was like torturing himself to re-read a Hemingway favourite when he was so screwed up in the head about his ex, but that was the kind of person Jess was sometimes.

It was impossible not to wonder what Rory was doing in Florida. Jess had to believe it was nothing too ‘Girls Gone Wild’, because that just wasn’t Rory. It wasn’t Paris either, that was for damn sure. Still, Jess couldn’t shake the feeling that he was losing Rory by degrees in spite of the fact they weren’t even together yet this time around. He stopped reading entirely when he realised he just used the word ‘yet’ in that sentence and started thinking too much again.

The phone ringing caught his attention. The landline, not his cell. There was a weird moment when Jess actually thought it might be Rory, except she would definitely ring his cell, and probably not at midnight either way.

“Hello?” he said, picking up the receiver.

“Jess, it’s Luke,” said his uncle on the other end of the line. “Er, I was... I was wondering if you could drive over to Litchfield for me, maybe pick me up?”

“Sure,” Jess told him, frowning hard. “The truck break down?”

“Er, no. No, truck’s fine, I’m just not with the truck right now.”

Now Jess was really confused and it would’ve showed on his face if anyone could see him. Running a hand back through his hair he went with the only explanation he could find that made even a tiny bit of sense, and then it was a real small one.

“Are you drunk?” 

“No, I am not drunk!” snapped Luke. “I’m just... Can you just come pick me up, please? I’m on the corner of Mason and Pine. You can’t miss it.”

Jess’ eyes went wide at that, remembering that address a little too well after a certain incident when he was here the last time.

“You got arrested?” he asked, presumably sounding as shocked as he felt.

“That’s another thing, you’re gonna need to being some money for bail,” said Luke then.

Jess wasn’t sure whether to laugh or curse, but figured his uncle wouldn’t appreciate either response. Instead he just agreed to what he was being asked to do. As backwards as the circumstances seemed, he would do what needed to be done, and hoped there would eventually be some explanation that made at least a little sense in all of this!


	14. Chapter 14

“So he’s old but he’s not rich?” Louise frowned hard into her cup. “I don’t get it.”

Rory was kind of glad she wasn’t the only one puzzled by Paris’ affair with Asher Fleming, though it wasn’t as comforting as it might’ve been to have someone like Louise agreeing with her. She and Madeline were never the sharpest knives in the drawer, or even the nicest people at times. Still, it was fun to reconnect just for a little while. Rory’s real concern wasn’t the company so much as the drinks they were providing, which seemed to be getting stronger with every cup. Good thing she wasn’t near any windows!

“What happened to that boyfriend of yours, Rory?” asked Madeline then.

“Jess?” she asked, like a reflex.

“No, no. The cute one,” said Louise.

Paris laughed into her drink. “The cute one was Dean,” she clarified. “Jess was the hot one.”

Rory’s eyes went wide as anything at that remark. She came awfully close to spitting punch all over her friend, which made everybody laugh.

“There was a hot one?” asked Madeline. “Ooh, Gilmore’s been holding out on us!”

Rory looked at Paris, who only grinned in response. She meant what she said, there was no doubting that. Rory vaguely recalled a time when Paris had told Dean she had an interest in Jess, later passing it off as an excuse to get her friend out of a jam. Rory always wondered if the lie was based in truth, but right now she couldn’t collate the evidence to figure it out. She was way too drunk for this conversation, and yet there seemed no way to get out of it.

“Jess is... Well, he was my boyfriend for a few months Senior year,” she explained to Madeline and Louise, one hand over her face because it was just so embarrassing. “It ended badly.”

“Oh, come on!” said Paris too loudly, almost falling off her chair in her exuberance. “It never really ended, and now he’s back in town.”

“And easily reachable by his new cell phone number,” said Madeline with way too much glee.

Rory’s eyes were so very wide as she realised her old friend was now holding her cell phone and had located Jess’ number within the contacts list. If she called him, well, Rory couldn’t very well stop her right now. Her heart rate tripled, which was quite a feat since it was pretty close to that already just from the mere mention of her relationship with Jess.

“You have your ex’s number in your phone?” asked Louise, craning her neck to see the screen on Rory’s cell in Madeline’s hand. “His new number” she emphasised. “Oh, this is so not over.”

“You’re telling me,” said Paris, downing the rest of her drink. “Not that I blame her. I mean, Jess wasn’t exactly the best at treating a woman right, but man, the boy has the looks, and that whole bad boy vibe that you just can’t get around even though you know it’s not worth the trouble.”

“Ooh, bad boy vibe!” Louise echoed with glee. “I’m liking this guy more and more all the time.”

“That’s good, because I think we’re about to be talking to him on the phone,” said Madeline with a sly smirk. “Yup, I just dialled, and it's ringing!”

Rory gasped and scrambled across the table for her phone. She got it to her ear just in time to hear Jess speak very briefly on an outgoing voicemail message and then came the beep.

“Oh, um, hi, Jess,” she said vaguely, glaring at Madeline and Louise who thought they were just so hilarious. “Er, this is Rory. I’m in Florida with Paris, and Madeline and Louise, who you never met and now you never will because I’m about to kill them!” she emphasised to the girls across the table. “Anyway, we’ve all drunk way too much and you’re probably asleep so I’m going to go. Good night!”

Snapping the phone shut, Rory closed her eyes a moment and wondered why the hell she had left a message at all. She could’ve just hung up the phone and if Jess ever realised what had happened she could tell him she misdialled or her friends were playing a prank. She blamed the alcohol rushing around her system for her lack of competence. It had been a really crazy couple of days.

Madeline and Louise were in hysterics over the message Rory had left, apparently completely unphased by the threats when she repeated how horribly they were about to die at her hands.

“Relax, Gilmore,” Paris told her, rolling her eyes. “The guy will be thrilled you called, drunk or not. He adores you, and hey, at least this one knows how to read. Dean was cute and all, but seriously, not on your intellectual level.”

Honestly, Rory would have argued with her if she didn’t know Paris was right. That and she was busy being seriously impressed that not only could Paris use words like ‘intellectual’ properly when drunk, but also that she was currently multiplying herself by twos and threes somehow.

“I need to get out of here,” muttered Rory, holding her head that swam violently. “This punch is living up to its name and I... I need more air than I’m getting right now.”

Paris went with her, leaving a cackling Madeline and Louise in their wake. Rory warned them one more time that they were going to die bloody for what they had done. Jess was going to think she was a real idiot after this.

* * *

“So, you ever going to tell me what turned you into the kind of idiot you spent two years trying to stop me from becoming?” asked Jess as he drove around the corner and pulled up a few feet behind Luke’s truck.

The pick up from the police station had been fine. With the bail duly paid and paperwork signed, Luke was free to go and Jess made no smart ass comments or anything in front of the cops. He let his uncle direct him to the street where he left his own vehicle in silence, but now curiosity was getting the better of Jess. He never in a million years saw a scenario where he would be picking up Luke from jail. The other way around maybe, but never this situation.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” said Luke, reaching for the door handle and letting himself out the passenger side.

Jess hopped out the driver’s side and followed him down the street. “Hey, when crap happened to me, I never wanted to talk about it, but that didn’t stop you from bugging me until I did,” he pointed out. “Luke, I just picked you up from jail. What the hell happened?”

He sounded more concerned than anything else which was probably what really got to Luke in the end. His hand stilled on the door to his truck and he turned around to face his nephew.

“I’m not wearing my socks,” he said, as if that were an explanation.

Jess shook his head, proving he didn’t get it.

“You know I stayed over here last night, with Nicole?” he gestured towards the building, which Jess only now realised was the townhouse his uncle owned with his wife. “Well, I got dressed in a hurry this morning and then I noticed later that I’m not wearing my socks.”

He emphasised it in such a way and with a look on his face that was unmistakable. Jess’ eyes grew a little wider, as he glanced from Luke to the house and back again.

“She had another guy in there?”

Luke nodded. “A guy that was taking off his socks in my bedroom,” he confirmed. “So, I came over here and I sat across the street. I waited and waited and then this guy showed up. Nicole came out, met him at the door...” his voice trailed away and Luke shook his head. “I’m wearing his socks.”

“And he’s screwing your wife,” said Jess, with all the tact of a Mack truck. “Sorry,” he apologised immediately when Luke glared at him. “But that’s what we think, right?”

“That’s what we think,” Luke confirmed sadly, adjusting his hat and shaking his head right after. “I don’t know, Jess, I mean... Me and Nicole, it was never... I was trying, y’know?”

“Were you?” his nephew checked. “I mean, seriously, Luke, did you really want this marriage thing to work? It was such a joke.”

“Hey, my marriage is not a joke!” Luke snapped, pointing an angry finger at Jess - he didn’t flinch at all. “It’s just... it’s complicated.”

“No, it’s not,” said Jess definitely. “It’s not complicated. It’s a sham. You’ve been trying to make this thing with Nicole work because it’s all you’ve got, but she’s not what you want. She’s never been the one you really want.”

Luke met Jess’ eyes with anger but the fire burnt out in a second when his nephew held his gaze firmly. They both knew what he was saying and they both knew he was right too. Just as Jess had never gotten over Rory, Luke had never loved anyone quite like he loved Lorelai. They were both hung up on their own Gilmore girl, and it was not going away.

A huge sigh came out of Luke then, like every ounce of air being pushed out in one long breath. The fight was gone from him in a second as his hand covered his face a moment and he got his bearings.

“I didn’t even care enough to hit the guy,” he admitted, eyes still on the sidewalk.

“So what the hell did you get arrested for?” asked Jess curiously.

Luke glanced up, then gestured for his nephew to follow him. They walked down the street aways to another car. Jess realised quickly it belonged to the guy with the socks, though he was failing to see whatever it was Luke was pointing to in the side panel.

“Right there,” said his uncle. “I hit his car,” he insisted.

Jess took a closer look. “Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously! They don’t arrest you for thinking about it!”

“What did you hit it with?”

“My hand... and then my foot.”

“You sure?”

Luke was getting mad again by now and Jess decided to let it go. There really was no evidence that anybody had hit this car but clearly Luke had done so, or the cops were unlikely to have taken him in. The main point was that he hadn’t lashed out at the guy in question. Jess would guess that was because it wasn’t really him or even Nicole that Luke was mad at. It was himself. He was fighting for a relationship he didn’t even care about, and it was more likely that realisation that made him so angry.

“We should head home,” said Jess, standing straight and giving up on looking for dents and scratches that simply were not present on the BMW. “The diner’s going to need opening, in what? An hour?” he joked, checking his watch that clearly said a little after one a.m.

“Smart ass,” said Luke, trying not to smile.

“I get it from my uncle,” said Jess, smirking as they headed back to their respective vehicles to go home at last.

* * *

“I think I’m ready to go home,” said Rory as she knelt on the beach with Paris at her side, the whole of the scenery seeming to spin and tilt though they were being very still themselves.

“No, we’re doing Spring Break!” her friend insisted. “Or, did we do Spring Break already?” she checked, looking as confused as Rory had ever seen her.

“Well, let’s see. We came, we danced, we drank a lot, and you kissed me,” said Rory with some distaste.

“You drunk dialled,” Paris giggled uncharacteically. “And the throwing up seems pretty imminent.”

“Agreed,” Rory nodded, swallowing hard. “So we’re done, right?”

“I think so,” her friend agreed. “Home sounds good.”

“Yeah, just as soon as the beach stops spinning.” 

Rory really was ready to get back to Connecticut now. Florida had been fun in its way, but she had seen all she needed to see of sun, sea, and sand, and certainly done way more drinking than she ever planned on doing ever again.

Through the spinning and the fog, her brain caught onto Paris’ words about the drunk dialling. Rory winced, now hardly able to recall exactly what she had said on Jess’ voicemail. She really hoped he didn't think she was an idiot after this. He was unlikely to understand her need to go Spring Breaking, although she supposed there was a chance he would get it. After all, Jess had a wild side, it was one of the things she loved most about him.

“Oh my God!” she gasped the moment those words passed through her mind unbidden.

“What? You need me to hold your hair back?” asked Paris when Rory’s hand suddenly covered her mouth.

Rory didn’t answer, but she really was feeling woozy and sick, she just wasn’t so sure she could blame it entirely on the punch anymore.


	15. Chapter 15

Rory and Lorelai were almost done with their conversation about Spring Break when a beeping sound told them there was a call waiting on Rory’s end.

“I gotta go anyway,” her mother told her. “Busy, busy with the inn and all, but we’ll catch up some more later, okay?”

“Sure. Love you, Mom.”

“You too, kid.”

The call was ended and Rory pushed the button to pick up the other one. She was only a little surprise when she realised it was Jess on the line.

“Hey, Girl Gone Wild!” he greeted her. “How’s Florida treating you today?”

“Er, actually, it’s not,” said Rory awkwardly, her mind racing since she had no idea if Jess was calling from his cell or the landline, no clue if he had picked up her voicemail or would mention it at all. “We came home already. I don’t think I’m really cut out for the whole Spring Break thing.”

“Really?” asked Jess, with a smirk that Rory could just hear. “Well, this voicemail I got certainly sounded like a party was going on.”

“Oh God!” Rory literally face-palmed, getting up from her desk and going over to her bed to be comfortable. “I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I’m really sorry!”

“Rory, it’s fine.” Jess laughed. “Seriously, you really didn’t say much, just that you were going to commit murder on two girls I never met, which by the way is not a good way to get away with a crime.”

“Madeline and Louise,” she confirmed the names of her supposed victims. “I didn’t actually kill them, obviously, but they really were making me crazy. Madeline got a hold of my phone and then she found out you and I used to date so she dialled your number... We were all kind of drunk.”

“Yeah, I figured that part out,” Jess confirmed. “So, the part where you asked me to marry you, that was just the booze talking, right?”

“What?!” Rory squeaked, sitting up very fast and wishing she hadn’t when her neck pulled like she had whiplash. “Jess, I didn’t... What did...? I, er...”

“Ror, relax,” he urged her then. “I’m kidding. You honestly didn’t say anything embarrassing. Not a thing, I swear.”

“Speaking of committing murder,” said Rory, her hand to her chest as her heart beat a mile a minute. “You’re walking a fine line, Mariano.”

“My favourite mode of transportation,” he noted, still wearing that smirk, she was damn sure on that. “So, Florida wasn’t all it should’ve been, huh?”

“Not so much.” Rory sighed, leaning back against her pillows once again. “You know me, not so much party girl. Not that we didn’t cover all the bases while we were there. Paris and me, we went dancing, hung out at the beach, got drunk, as you know. It was kind of fun, I guess.”

“You have company for any of your activities?” asked Jess.

He winced himself when he said it, knowing he was being about as subtle as a flying brick right now. It was so stupid. What he told Lorelai a couple of days ago that it would be none of his business if Rory got hooked up on her trip. He wasn’t her boyfriend anymore, only a friend, he had no claim on her, no right to judge either. Still, it did not sit right with Jess to think some college dude had gotten close to Rory in Florida. He really needed to hear that it hadn’t happened.

“Well, sure,” said Rory, seemingly oblivious to his worries. “There was Paris, Madeline and Louise, a couple of other friends from Yale who we travelled down with, but Jenna and Glen really went and did their own thing for the most part.”

“No new friends? People you met while you were there maybe?”

There was a long pause and Jess realised he was holding his breath until Rory finally spoke.

“Nope, no new friends,” she told him easily, hearing Jess exhale loudly.

She smiled at the sound, she couldn’t help it. It was clearly a relief to him that she hadn’t met any guys that she might be interested in. Rory didn’t mind knowing that at all, especially since she had been giving serious thought to her own feelings for Jess these past couple of days. He wasn’t the reason she came home, since both Rory and Paris had quite decided on that before Rory’s revelation about loving Jess. Still, it didn’t hurt knowing she was within a short drive of the guy now instead of a couple of states away.

“So, you’re back at Yale, but I’m guessing no classes right now?”

“Nope, no classes for a couple more days,” Rory confirmed. “I have some work to do still, a piece for the Yale Daily News and a paper to finish up for class, but I was thinking about maybe coming home tonight, spend tomorrow in the Hollow.”

“Sounds good,” Jess agreed. “Your mom’s been missing you.”

“So she told me.” Rory smiled. “I doubt anybody else even noticed I was gone.”

She said in on purpose and they both knew it. Getting Jess to admit to missing her too, it was unlikely to happen. He really wasn’t that guy for the most part. Coming out and saying what he felt, it didn’t come easy for him, at least not when they were dating. Since his return to Stars Hollow, Jess had tried harder. He and Rory really talked things out when he first came back, and then there had been the ‘I love you’ moment at the Firelight Festival. Rory wasn’t really sure what she expected him to say when she asked him about missing her, but the answer surprised her.

“Rory, you know how I feel about you,” he told her in a low voice that made her shudder just like it always had before. “The second night I was here, I told you exactly. I don’t think I could’ve made it any clearer.”

She felt bad for teasing him. Rory knew it was unfair but they were at that friendly stage in their relationship now, like they had been before when they first met. At least it felt that way. She ought to have known it was different this time, because they had been through dating and out of the other side. He had told her be loved her just a few short months ago and though she hadn’t said it back, it was sort of implied that something was building between them. Now, Rory was more certain than she had ever been that she wanted to pursue this thing with Jess, this relationship that had gone so wrong before and yet had been the best time of her life for a while there.

“Jess, I... I’m sorry,” she forced out. “I didn’t mean to... I don’t know what I meant,” she confessed at last. “Um, can we talk?”

“What have we been doing for the past twenty minutes?”

“Okay, smart ass, but you know what I mean. I kind of think we should be face to face if... Well, if we’re going to talk about us.”

There was a long pause and Rory let it last. She wasn’t saying anything else until Jess had answered her. There really wasn’t anything she could say until he did. His feelings for her seemed to be as strong as ever, so he ought to be willing for this talk. Rory just felt it was very necessary all of a sudden, but it wasn’t something she wanted to do over the phone, it didn’t seem right.

“You wanna talk about us, I’m there, Rory,” he told her suddenly. “Pick a time and place, and I’m there.”

“Okay,” she said, pointlessly nodding her head since he obviously couldn’t see her from here. “Um, if I’m coming home tonight, Mom is going to want to hang out, but tomorrow? Ten o’clock at the bridge? That sound okay?”

“Sounds great,” said Jess.

In Rory’s mind the smirk was gone, replaced by one of those rare and beautiful genuine smiles he sometimes wore. She smiled too, just thinking about it. Tomorrow she might see that look for real, not that Rory was a hundred percent of what she was going to say in this serious talk she and Jess were now bound to have, but she knew they needed it. She had reached a point where she was almost certain she knew what she wanted and Jess’ feelings didn’t seem to have changed any from when he first came back. Maybe this time they could build something that would last. She really hoped so.

* * *

“That’s great, sweets. Can’t wait to see you!” said Lorelai with a grin as she entered the diner, still with her cell phone at her ear.

Luke gestured pointedly at the sign then at Lorelai, telling her with a glare as much as the arm waving that she needed to hang up and now.

“Okay, babe. Gotta go or Luke is gonna bust a blood vessel. See you later.”

Lorelai duly ended her call, shoving her cell into her purse and smiling wide at Luke. He sighed, reaching for a large cup and the coffee pot to pour her a drink. There was no fighting with Lorelai, and certainly no disliking her. What Jess had implied last night was true enough, even if Luke could do without having to deal with it right now. Luke's heart belonged to Lorelai Gilmore, whether she wanted it or not. Most of the time, he was pretty sure she had no idea about his feelings, and somehow he never got to a place where it seemed like a good time to tell her.

“What’s up with you, Guy Not-So-Smiley?” she asked, picking up her coffee cup with both hands and taking a long drink. “Is it Taylor? It’s usually Taylor when you look this grumpy.”

“It’s not Taylor.” Luke confirmed, moving down the counter to pour coffee for other patrons. “I just... I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night.”

“Something on your mind?” asked Lorelai, frowning when Luke seemed to ignore her.

Just as soon as he came back her way, she put her hand on his arm and made sure she had his attention. He would barely meet her eyes and that bothered her all the more. Lorelai wasn’t letting this go and they both knew it.

“Luke?”

“I’m fine,” he assured her, pulling his arm from her grasp. “I... Me and Nicole are over, okay?” he told her in a low voice, leaning over the counter so she would be the only one to hear.

“Oh,” said Lorelai. “Um, I’m sorry. I’d say I know how you feel, but.. Well, I guess I do a little, because me and Jason are no more, but that was my decision, so... Was this your decision?” she checked.

“Yes and no.” Luke squirmed, adjusting his cap. “Er, the truth is, she’s... she’s not committed to this marriage, and if I’m honest, I’m not either. Dating each other was fun, we got along and everything, but it was crazy to ever get married, and crazier still to put the divorce on hold the way we did.”

“Oh, Luke,” Lorelai sighed, her hand back on his arm now and he didn’t move it this time. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well,” he told her with a lop-sided smile. “Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be, I guess.”

“I guess,” she echoed. “That’s what I realised with Jason. I just... I don’t know, my heart wasn’t in it, y’know? I mean when you meet the right person, when it’s really right, you should feel more, right? It should be... There should be a real connection, shouldn’t there?” she said, eyes coming up from the counter and meeting Luke’s own.

It was a strangely intense moment as they remained in place, her hand on his arm and their gazes locked, close enough to make a kiss happen if either of them felt the need. It wasn’t that it didn’t occur to Luke, or even Lorelai, but now wasn’t the time, it couldn’t be. They were both just out of serious relationships, in fact, he wasn’t even entirely out of his since it was a marriage and required paperwork to be officially over. It was just never the right time.

“Er, I should get back to work,” said Luke, clearing his throat and moving away fast.

“Oh, yeah. Me too,” said Lorelai, almost falling off the stool in her haste to leave. “Thanks for the coffee!” she called over her shoulder, practically running for the door.

Outside the diner, Lorelai took in a deep breath and let it out slow.

“What the hell was that?” she asked herself out loud.

The problem was, she knew very well what it was, and it scared her half to death to realise it.


	16. Chapter 16

Rory had talked it over with her mom last night. Well, that wasn’t strictly true, because she certainly hadn’t told her everything. She had mentioned to Lorelai about the drunken voicemail she had left for Jess, and some of their conversation in the morning. Mostly she told her mother that she was having strong feelings for Jess that she really needed to talk to him about.

“I think it’s time we were honest with each other, about everything,” she had said. “You think that’s a good idea?”

“Hon, I think that’s the best idea,” Lorelai had assured her, hand squeezing hers. “Communication between people is so important, and I think maybe it was the lacking of the right kinds of conversation that didn’t help you and Jess last time.”

“That’s what I think.”

“Well then, talking has to be of the good this time around, and honesty too. As much as it sucks that it ended the way it did, I’m glad I was honest with Jason. We just weren’t suited in the end.”

Rory felt bad for her mom when it came to the breakdown of her latest relationship, but she couldn’t be too bothered by the loss of Jason Stiles from their lives. Not that Rory had to spend much time with him herself, which was probably why she wouldn’t feel any loss. Besides, all the complications of Jason being Lorelai’s boyfriend and also Richard’s business partner, it made things so messy. Secrets and lies, the very things Rory wanted to avoid with Jess, that her mom had encouraged her to remove from their relationship. They never did any good and yet were exactly what Lorelai and Jason built their own relationship on. It probably was for the best that it was over.

Walking towards the bridge at a pace, sure she was going to be late, Rory passed by Luke’s diner and saw him yelling at Kirk. She sighed and kept on going. Her mom had mentioned that Luke and Nicole were over too. That was sad, not because Rory had a particular liking for Luke’s wife, but because it was putting one of her favourite people in a very bad mood.

Rory only ever wanted those she loved to be happy. There were times when she thought Luke and her mom would really work. They got along so well, it might be nice if they could make each other happy that way. It just always seemed to be that one of them was in a relationship whilst the other wasn’t and vice versa. It never quite worked out where they were both available at the same time. Until now, of course.

Rory was still wondering about Lorelai and Luke when she came through the clearing and the bridge was suddenly in sight. All other thoughts went from her mind as she stared at Jess, sat in the centre of the bridge with his legs dangling over the side. He looked very similar to the day of the Bid A Basket event more than two years ago now, and Rory couldn’t help but smile as she approached him.

“Hi,” said Jess, as soon as he noticed her presence.

“Hey,” she replied walking up to where he sat.

After a beat, she dropped down to sit beside him, her feet dangling close to the water too. There was maybe a foot of space between them, and they seemed to take turns looking up when the other wasn’t paying attention. This went on for fully five minutes before it got the better of Jess.

“So...” he said, prompting Rory to say something, anything.

“Yeah,” she replied, pushing her hair back behind her ear and staring into the water. “This isn’t awkward at all.”

“You wanted to talk,” Jess tried again, hoping she might actually do so if he spelt it out.

“I did,” she told him quickly. “I do, it’s just... It feels strange.” She looked up and met his eyes then.

Jess shook his head. “We could always talk before.”

“Sure, about books and movies and stuff, that always came easy,” Rory agreed, “but we never really talked about the important stuff.”

Jess looked away then. “Probably my biggest problem,” he admitted, fingers twitching as if he really wished he had a cigarette, which he probably did.

“Our problem,” said Rory definitely, getting his attention back in a second. “I wasn’t great at saying what should be said either, we established that a while ago,” she reminded him, turning to face him with one leg tucked up underneath her now. “Jess, we were both to blame for what happened with us the last time, but if we can learn from that... Well, I don’t know how long you planned to stay around Stars Hollow, but I like that you’re here, and if you were planning on making it permanent, which I’m hoping you are?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean, I can’t live with Luke forever, but I was thinking about maybe getting a place of my own. I don’t know, maybe around the New Haven area?”

He was putting himself out there and it was something Jess was neither used to nor entirely comfortable with, but he figured this was Rory and there was probably only one shot left to take.

“New Haven?” she echoed. “Because of me?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, because of some other woman I’m in love with,” he blurted out.

Jess wasn’t sure what made him do it. Maybe it was because Rory had pretty much invited him here to figure things out and start over, at least that was what she implied on the phone yesterday. Maybe it was exactly what he thought before, that this was the last chance and he had to put himself on the line or risk losing Rory again before he ever even really got her back.

“You’ve gotten really good at saying that lately,” she muttered, looking away and visibly colouring in the cheeks the way she always did.

“About time, don’t you think?”

Rory smiled at that. He had a point.

“Jess,” she said, staring at him and waiting until he actually looked back. “I... I love you too,” she admitted at last. “I think I always have, even before you left the last time, but I was too afraid of what that meant. You have this way of making me feel so safe and so out of control all at the same time, and it took me a while to be okay with that, and just when I was almost there, you were gone.”

It all came out in true Gilmore ramble style and Jess would’ve smiled at the wonderful familiarity of it all, if he wasn’t feeling like a louse over their previous attempt at romance. He really had screwed up royally when he left for California, and for several days and weeks beforehand.

“I’m sorry.”

“No,” Rory told him emphatically. “I don’t want you to keep apologising. We covered all of that. You’re sorry, I’m sorry, and that’s great, but now we have to move on,” she insisted, leaning closer. “I don’t want to move on apart, I want... I want it to be us together, if that’s what you want?”

Jess met her baby blues with his own dark eyes one more time and knew this was it, this was the moment when everything changed. He had a choice, walk away forever this time, or commit to really making it work with the only woman in the world he had ever felt this much for. He was not going to be a coward twice.

“Rory,” he said, reaching out a hand to her cheek. “You’re all I want,” he promised her.

They were already so close, it was nothing to lean in just a little more until their lips met. It had been way too long since he kissed her. Jess took full advantage of the moment when Rory started to kiss him back with everything she had. They parted breathless, his fingers tangled in her hair, her arms locked around his neck.

“This is crazy,” she breathed heavily. “I never thought-”

“Yeah, well, you think too much,” insisted Jess, diving right back in.

Rory didn’t protest at all. She had no reason to. All the talking had been done for now, all the apologising and the love confessions. The only thing she wanted in this moment was for Jess to be kissing her and he seemed more than happy to oblige. They were lost in each other for quite some time, speaking very little in the half hour that followed. Still, when given the chance, Rory couldn’t help but confirm that this time was going to be different, that they were going to be okay.

“We’re going to make it work this time, right?”

“I don’t think we could screw it up any worse than last time,” said Jess, lying on the bridge with his girlfriend wrapped in his arms.

Her head came up off his chest as she peered at him wide-eyed. He had not given the answer she wanted and they both knew it.

“Yes, Rory,” he promised, meeting her gaze. “We’ll make it work. I don’t think I can handle losing you twice,” he told her sincerely.

“Good,” she replied, leaning over to lightly kiss his lips, “because I don’t wanna go through that again either.”

* * *

When she heard the front door, Lorelai naturally assumed it was her daughter coming in. Her mind was on so many other mostly inn-related things that she really hadn’t considered Jess being with Rory.

“Hey, babe! So, I was wondering if you’d seen that blue skirt with the...” she began, stopping quickly when she reached the bottom of the stairs and found herself face to face with Rory and Jess, standing in the living room, hand in hand. “Well, hello, young lovers!” she greeted them.

“Mom, me and Jess have talked,” said Rory.

“Just talked?” Lorelai smiled “’Cause this guy is wearing a whole lot of lip gloss right now, and I doubt he’s going for the Bowie look.”

Jess had the good grace to look just a little embarrassed as he rubbed at his mouth with the back of his hand. Beside him, Rory blushed furiously but determinedly answered her mother’s question.

“Um, we figured some stuff out,” she admitted,

Lorelai nodded her head. “And got back together. Well, can’t say I didn’t see that coming.”

“Lorelai,” Jess began. “I’m not-”

“Hey, you proved yourself, kid,” she told him easily, waving away any concerns he had with a gesture of her hand. “You came back, you made your apologises, behaved like a man. We’re past the crap from last time,” she promised. “Fresh start, okay?”

“Thanks,” he agreed, nodding his head.

Jess was just a little startled when he suddenly found Lorelai’s finger right in his face as if she were angry, and yet her genial smile remained.

“But, I swear to God, Mariano, if you screw this up again, I will find a way to Marty McFly it back to two months ago and leave your sorry ass in that car to become Popsicle Boy. You got that?”

“I got it,” he told her sincerely, “but I’m not gonna hurt her again,” he swore, tilting his head towards Rory. “I can promise you that.”

Lorelai nodded, apparently believing him as she backed off. “Well, now you know the price if you do,” she told him, smiling more genuinely now, more so perhaps when she looked at Rory. “Well, I wish I could stay and celebrate the happy reunion, kids, but one busy moment leads to another. Have a good day, hon” she told Rory, leaning in to kiss her cheek before breezing past and right out the front door.

Rory and Jess both watched her go, letting out an audible sigh each.

“That went better than I thought,” admitted Jess.

“And now we’re alone,” said Rory, turning to face him.

“For an hour anyway,” he agreed, now holding both of Rory’s hands in both of his own, “then I have to be back at the diner.”

“An hour,” Rory echoed. “Hmm. I’m sure we can find some way to fill the time.”

She was smiling as she leaned in to kiss his lips and Jess responded eagerly. This was far from a bad way to kill time.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Gilmore?” he asked between kisses, finding himself a little startled when Rory suddenly backed up out of his embrace.

“Oh, um. Jess, I can’t...” she trailed off, shaking her head.

Jess mentally face-palmed. “Hey, relax,” he urged her, reaching for her hands again. “I didn’t mean it that literally. I’m sorry.”

Rory sighed. “No, I’m sorry. I... Well, you were the closest I ever came to...” she said pointedly, “and since you, there hasn’t been anybody to speak of.”

“Rory, it’s fine,” he promised her. “I don’t expect us to get back together and jump into bed all within an hour. I’d like to think we both have a little more class than that.”

“Okay,” she said with a sigh of genuine relief. “But I really do love you, Jess.”

“Likewise,” he told her with a smirky smile that was beautifully familiar.

This time he went in for the kiss first and Rory didn’t mind at all.

* * *

“So they’re back together?” checked Sookie, grinning big.

“Yup, seems that way,” Lorelai agreed, sipping her coffee. “I know I was down on the kid before, but Jess is... I don’t know he seems to have grown up these past few months, figured out that maybe he’s not quite as smart as he thought he was, maybe. I don’t know, but I’m not freaking out so much this time, so that’s progress.”

“Aaaw, I think it’s adorable!” Sookie sighed happily. “I mean, I never knew Jess all that well and I know he did some questionable stuff, but he and Rory always looked so cute together.”

“They do that,” admitted Lorelai. “I just want my Rory happy, and if Jess does that for her, I can’t be mad about it. I just wish it was as easy for me.”

“For you?” asked Sookie, before literally face-palming. “Oh, of course, for you! Honey, I’m so sorry,” she apologised, rubbing Lorelai’s arm from around the table. “You’ll find the right guy eventually. Just because Jason wasn’t it, somebody will be.”

“What if somebody already is?” she asked then, obviously being too cryptic for Sookie to follow, so she explained further. “The thing is, me and Luke, we kind of had this weird moment, in the diner yesterday.”

“You and Luke? Well, sweetie, isn’t he still married to Nicole?”

“Apparently it’s over,” Lorelai explained. “So Luke said, and I’m telling him that me and Jason are over and he’s telling me how he and Nicole are over. We were saying how it’s so hard to find the right person and he was leaning on the counter and my hand was on his arm. I don’t know, it was just this... moment,” she recalled with a smile on her lips that seemed to have more control over her face than she did suddenly.

Sookie stared at Lorelai, who in turn stared into space, and a giggle escaped her unbidden.

“Oh my God!” she gasped, hands covering her mouth in a second. “Oh my... It’s finally going to happen isn’t it? You and Luke, it’s finally going to happen!” she exclaimed, like a giddy child.

“No,” said Lorelai immediately. “Or, I don’t know, but I doubt it. I mean, it’s me and Luke, I can’t... We’re not... Sook, I don’t know!” she declared suddenly, head dropping onto the table hard.

“Oh, sweetie, don’t!” Sookie told her, trying to get her to look up. “Lorelai, you know I always thought you and Luke would be so perfect together, and now you’re finally both in the same place at the same time.”

“What a place and what a time!” Lorelai exclaimed, lifting her head up so fast she made her friend physically jump. “Both of us just getting out of serious relationship, his being an actual marriage. Him investing in my business? It couldn’t be worse timing.”

Her head returned to the table and Sookie winced at the sound the hit made. Reaching out a tentative hand she stroked Lorelai’s hair and rubbed her back, hoping it was all in some way comforting.

Maybe it wasn’t quite so easy for Lorelai and Luke to just get it together, but Sookie really wished it was. She loved Lorelai like a sister, and Luke was such a nice guy underneath all the grumpiness and flannel. They both needed and deserved each other, and Sookie was just certain they could make each other happy. Of course, Rory and Jess had proven today that even the rockiest relationships could work out in the end, given half a chance. Maybe Luke and Lorelai would get their shot given time, but Sookie figured now might not be a good time to talk about it any more.

Maybe tomorrow.


	17. Chapter 17

“Not that I’m objecting to you being happy or anything, but you wanna explain the uncontrollable giggling today?” 

Rory tried to stop being quite so giddy when Jess asked his question, though she noted from her place beneath his arm that he was having trouble keeping a straight face anyway. It wasn’t as if he usually smiled a whole lot, but today was different. They both had plenty of reasons to be happy right now, the most important one being each other.

“You’re one to talk, Guy Smiley!” she countered with a grin. “Y’know it’s highly likely that someone’s going to call the cops on you, suspecting you’re on drugs or something. How else can you explain that highly uncharacteristic cheery demeanour?” she teased him.

Jess leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I can explain it just fine,” he told her softly, the most intense look on his face when Rory met his eyes.

She kind of loved this, and she definitely loved Jess. It was how they had been once before, too many months ago when things were good, before she had to worry why he was pulling away and things fell apart. Now all the baggage was taken care of, all the issues had been ironed out. Rory wasn’t expecting to have an argument-free, perfect relationship or anything, such a thing just wasn’t possible, she was certain, but this was better, so much better. Certainly better than being apart.

“So, you headed back to Yale tonight?”

“That’s the plan.” Rory nodded into her reply. “As much as I hate to leave when we’re just back together-”

“Ror, don’t,” Jess urged her as they stopped walking right outside the diner. “Us being together is not contingent on you being within three feet of me at all times,” he reminded her. “Sure, I like the within the three feet thing,” he admitted, holding her close in his arms, “but it’s not a deal breaker. You have Yale, I have work and apartment-hunting. It’s not a big deal.”

Rory tightened her arms around his neck and moved in to kiss his lips.

“No big deal,” she agreed. “I mean, it’s only twenty two point eight miles, right?” she said with a smile.

“So they tell me.” Jess nodded, recalling the same conversation she was in this moment and not minding at all. “Now go on, scram. I got work to do,” he told Rory, sparing her one last kiss before she departed.

Watching her head off across the square, Jess let out a long breath. It was kind of unbelievable, being back here, dating Rory again. It was what he wanted, all he ever dreamed of since the day he first came to Stars Hollow and met the only girl in the world that could steal his heart. They had been through a lot, together and apart. Now it seemed as if maybe they were in a good place, that this thing between them could work out. If it didn’t, it would not be through a lack of trying.

Turning around, Jess headed inside the diner, finding Luke mid-rant at Kirk.

“-and if you don’t get your skinny ass out of my diner in the next thirty seconds, you are going to be wearing that perfectly good meal like a helmet, which you will need because I’m about to throw you through the window of your choice!”

Jess barely had time to move out of the way before Kirk tore past him at ninety miles an hour, obviously in fear for his life. Quite honestly, even Jess was shocked by his uncle's outburst and wasn’t surprised to see several other patrons leave hastily, lest they face the wrath of Angry Luke. Clearly something was not good here, and Jess could take a pretty good guess at what it was. Two women were in the frame for causing Luke’s craziness - the current Mrs Danes, or the one woman in town who stood a chance of owning that title for keeps someday.

“How’re things, Uncle Luke?” he asked cheerfully as well as sarcastically.

“Not now, Jess,” came the reply, a growl more than words.

His nephew took a look around the diner. Not too many customers and a couple of wait staff covering the tables for now. He had a chance here and he was going to take it.

“Hey, you got a minute?” he asked Luke, heading for the curtain. “I kinda need to talk to you.”

Jess never said what he wanted to talk about, never even implied it, but he did know that Luke would assume he was the one looking for advice. The truth was very different, but once he had got his uncle up to the apartment, and himself between Luke and the door, he knew he could deal.

“You know if you need to talk, Jess, I’m always here,” said Luke, adjusting his cap. “But now really isn’t the best time. I’m supposed to be working, you’re supposed to be working, and-”

“And you need to tell me what the hell has you threatening to hang Kirk from the rafters,” insisted Jess, pointing an arm back down the stairs to where that particular scene had taken place. “I know the guy is a freak, Luke, but you really lost it back there. So what is it? The divorce from Nicole or something to do with Lorelai?”

Luke opened his mouth to respond, and Jess would lay good money that his uncle was going to argue too. He held firm, knowing he was right. They weren’t leaving here until Luke told the truth and that was that.

“C’mon, Luke. You spent more than two years trying to get me to talk to you, trying to help me figure my life out. I know you think you failed, but you didn’t,” he said definitely, even as his eyes dipped to the floor in no little amount of embarrassment when it came to speaking so frankly. “I’m back, I’m with Rory, things aren’t exactly terrible right now. Let me return a little of the favour. Tell me what’s going on.”

He looked awkward, but then Luke always did when asked to talk about anything that mattered. Jess knew the feeling because he was exactly the same, but this needed dealing with. Luke ripping heads off customers was amusing in its way, but Jess didn’t want to see the guy suffer any more than he already had. He didn’t deserve that.

A huge sigh escaped Luke then as he moved over to the table and sat himself down heavily in a chair. Removing his hat from his head a moment, he ran a hand back over his face and hair before replacing the baseball cap that he was rarely seen without.

“I screwed up,” he admitted at last. “I really screwed up.”

Jess moved to grab the other chair and sat down too. “I have some experience in that area,” he said with a hint of a smirk that he couldn’t help.

Luke smiled a little too. “Yeah well, screwing up with women probably runs in the family or something. Even my dad, for all that he adored Mom, he could make her more mad than anybody else on the planet. I guess us Danes men just don’t handle these things well.”

“Nicole or Lorelai?” Jess asked again, before Luke got lost in waxing nostalgic.

“Lorelai,” admitted Luke, exhaling loudly. “I... I don’t know, we were talking about my divorce and her breaking up with her boyfriend. It was just a friendly conversation, but she was looking at me like... like it was more than that? I don’t know, Jess, I’m not good with all the signals and the hidden meanings. All I know is I’m stood there looking at Lorelai and she’s looking back at me, and I’m realising all of a sudden that I feel more for her in one moment across the counter than I ever felt for the woman I actually married,” he said, with one more heavy sigh. “And I’m an idiot because that was two days ago, and Lorelai, the coffee addict, hasn’t been back into the diner since. Clearly I did something wrong.”

“Maybe,” Jess considered. “Or maybe she’s just a little freaked out because she was thinking the same thing you were,” he guessed, continuing off Luke’s odd look. “C’mon, Luke, you and Lorelai have been dancing around each other for years. You know it, she knows it, every whack job in Stars Hollow knows it. You never should’ve married Nicole, and Lorelai shouldn’t have been dating James or John or...”

“Jason.”

“Whatever,” Jess literally waved away Luke’s interruption with the correct name. “If you two wanna be together, you got to just make it happen. Take it from a guy that knows, hanging around waiting forever, it’s not enough.”

Luke looked like he was giving his nephew’s words serious consideration at first and then just like that he shook his head.

“Me and Lorelai... We’re not getting together,” he insisted as he got up and headed for the door. “I mean, I’m trying to figure out a divorce, and she just broke up with her boyfriend...”

“Rory and me, we got together about a half hour after she and the Beanstalk were over,” said Jess getting up behind his uncle.

“Yes, and look how well that turned out,” replied Luke, rounding on him, regretting his words the moment he saw the look on Jess’ face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said quickly, hands raised in mock surrender because he knew for sure he had done wrong. “You know I’m happy you guys are back together, right? Rory was always good for you, and honestly, I think you’re good for her too.”

Jess’ eyes widened that that last remark. “Really?” he checked “Not what I heard the first time we were together.”

“Yeah, well, that was different,” said Luke with a shrug of his broad shoulders.

He looked no better for having talked about the situation at hand. Honestly, Jess wished he knew how to help him more, but he didn’t.

“You should talk to Lorelai,” he said in one last ditch attempt to assist. “I know she hasn’t been around and maybe that’s because of what happened, maybe it’s just because she’s busy, but you do know that you’re allowed to go see her too, right? You know where she lives, or better yet, you know where to find her inn that needs all the help it can get right now.”

Luke looked at his nephew and found a smile. The kid was trying desperately to be helpful and at the same time, trying to pass it off as assistance given only to stop him having to deal with a grumpy uncle. It didn’t matter what the real reason was for Jess’ intervention, Luke was choosing to take it as a good deed, and he wouldn’t ignore the advice given. He may have been around longer than Jess, but that didn’t mean Luke knew anything more about women and romance in the long run. His track record so far was certainly proving that. Jess had proven himself to Rory in the end and things seemed to be going well for them. Perhaps it wasn’t too much to hope that one day Luke could be as lucky with Lorelai. One thing was for sure, if he never tried, he would never know.

* * *

“Well, time to head back to those salt mines,” said Rory with a smile as she tossed her bag into the trunk of the car and closed down the lid. “You really shouldn’t have made a specific trip home just to see me off. I could’ve swung by the inn.”

“I know.” Lorelai nodded. “But honestly, it’s such a construction zone. Noisy, full of smelly guys, and... and, well, there’s this thing I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

She stalled right after those words and with the weirdest look on her, Rory was almost worried.

“Mom, c’mon,” she urged her. “Whatever it is just rip off the Band-Aid, because you’re making me both nervous and late.”

“Okay then,” said Lorelai, clearing her throat. “Um, Dean is working at the inn”

“Oh.” Rory frowned some. “Er, okay. Well, that’s no big deal to me. I mean, I do wish he was doing more with his life than construction, because he’s capable of it, you know that as well as I do, but it’s not like I can’t bear see him or anything. Me and Dean have been over a long time now.”

“I know, hon.” Lorelai nodded. “I just... I don’t know, things never seemed properly settled with you two. Last time you were with Jess, there was so much tension and, well, I felt like I should just tell you so that if you do come by the inn at some point you won’t be surprised by the presence of an ex.”

Rory wasn’t sure to think about all her mother had said. It was true that things between her and Dean had ended badly and been more than a little awkward ever since. When she was dating Jess before, Rory always carried the guilt of how their relationship had begun at a cost to Dean, and then when Dean got married to Lindsay, Rory hadn’t an idea how she really felt about that. Things were very different now. Rory and Jess had started over in the right way, and she could honestly say she hadn’t given Dean a thought one way or the other for quite a while now.

“Thank you for telling me,” she told her mother then. “But honestly? I couldn’t care less about what Dean is doing these days. He has his life, I have mine. I mean, I’m always going to care about him, but... that flame went out a long time ago,” she said with a shrug.

At one time, Lorelai would have argued that point, but now she believed every word Rory said. It had only been a couple of days since her daughter got back together with one Jess Mariano, but Lorelai had known for a while now that those two were destined, that this time it was likely to stick. Dean was the first love, but Lorelai knew from the start he was unlikely to be the last.

“So, time to go be brilliant some more,” she told Rory, reaching out to hug her baby girl tight. “See you Friday, I guess?”

“I’ll be here,” she promised, hugging back a few moments more. “You’re okay, right?” she checked when they parted. “Nothing else you need to tell me?”

“Nothing,” Lorelai confirmed. “Why?”

Rory stared at her mom for a few beats and then shook her head. “I don’t know, you look like maybe you have more on your mind than just me possibly running into Dean.”

Lorelai thought about telling her. She usually shared any and all dating-related gossip with her daughter and never once flinched about doing so. The problem was timing, and certain awkward connections. How did one tell a daughter they might be getting into a new relationship with the guy that served their coffee, who was also said daughter’s boyfriend’s uncle? Not that Lorelai even knew what was happening with her and Luke yet, if anything. She had avoided the diner since their ‘moment’ and hoped Rory wouldn’t notice this weekend, covering herself by always being way too busy with the inn.

“Hon, I’m fine,” she assured her daughter. “The Mom Brain is just all busy-busy-busy with the Dragonfly, that’s all.”

“Okay, well, you go be brilliant too,” she said with a smile, using her mother’s words to her just minutes before. “I’ll see you soon.”

Rory got into the car and left then, waving as she cleared the drive. Lorelai waved right back and smiled wide, though her mind was running with too many thoughts now. She really did have a lot to do at the inn, but mostly she kept on thinking about Luke. At some point, she knew she would have to face him and deal. Just maybe not today.


	18. Chapter 18

“You’re kidding!” Rory laughed heartily at the news about Taylor’s new toupee. “Does he really think he’s going to get away with that? That nobody is going to call him on it?”

“I swear, me and Luke made every rug and carpet reference imaginable, and the guy never flinched once. It was crazy,” said Jess with a smirk his girlfriend could just hear.

“Makes me wish I was there,” she said with a sigh. “Have you seen my mom at all?”

“A couple of times,” Jess confirmed, deliberately vague about the details. “She’s busy a lot with the inn, I guess.”

“Yeah, I get busy,” Rory told him, and Jess let out a silent sigh of relief at the subject change.

The fact was, Lorelai still hadn’t been in the diner yet, and despite the advice Jess had given to Luke, his uncle had yet to make an effort to go see her either. He made every excuse under the sun from the diner needing him to Lorelai probably being too busy to talk anyway. There was nothing Jess could do to make him change his mind and actually have a conversation with the woman he clearly had feelings for. Jess was only relieved he wasn’t the only one to see the problem. From what little Lane saw and heard, she quickly caught on to what he was bugging Luke about and called him on it yesterday.

“No joy in the Luke and Lorelai romance department, huh?” she had said when they practically ran into each other behind the counter. 

“I can’t even get him to talk to her right now.”

“For what it’s worth, I did try to get her to come in here yesterday but no go.” Lane had sighed. “Why do they do this to themselves?”

Jess had shaken his head in defeat and the two had gone on working. It was cool knowing he at least had a friend in this weird situation. Certainly he never saw himself as the matchmaking type, but Luke and Lorelai were so obviously made for each other, and they had both given Jess another chance to be a better person, both with the two of them and more so with Rory. He guessed he owed them a favour that way.

“Jess?” said Rory in his ear, reminding him he was supposed to be having a conversation.

“Sorry, got distracted.”

“Good book?”

Jess actually thought about just agreeing with her, but that would be a lie and it was something he swore to steer clear of this time around. Even the little white ones caused more trouble than they were worth. Besides, he couldn’t imagine Rory being too freaked out by the idea of Lorelai and Luke dating. Either way, he supposed she deserved to know what was (almost) going on.

“Your mom hasn’t talked to you about the diner lately, has she?” said Jess carefully.

“Er, no, not really,” Rory admitted. “I mean, we haven’t talked much these past few days, everything has been so full on. Why would you ask that anyway?”

“Because... Ror, Lorelai hasn’t been in the place, not for more than a week. There was this thing with her and Luke...”

“Oh my God!” Rory gasped. “I can’t believe they had a fight and she didn’t tell me!”

“No, no. No fight,” Jess assured her. “In fact, the opposite of a fight.”

“What’s the opposite of a fight?” she checked, thinking it over. “Unless... Jess what are you telling me?”

“I’m not saying... Geez, why am I getting involved in this crap?” Jess asked himself out loud. “Okay, Luke likes Lorelai, and Lorelai likes Luke. I tried to get him to talk to her about it but he won’t and I think she’s avoiding him also.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. Rory was thinking about what Jess just said and at the same time replaying a couple of conversations she and her mom had recently. The weirdness last weekend when Lorelai wanted to tell her something and yet wouldn’t. The fact they hadn’t made it into the diner at all in those two days, and her mom really hadn’t mentioned Luke or the diner for quite a while.

“Ror?”

“I’m here,” she assured a worried-sounding Jess. “Um, I mean, Mom and Luke have always been close, and I guess it wouldn’t be so crazy to think they might... Wow!” she gasped with the realisation of it all. “So, they’re going to, what? Date?”

“Not if they never talk to each other again,” said Jess candidly. “You coming home at all this weekend? Maybe you can talk some sense into your mom at least.”

“Er, no, sorry. I’m staying here this weekend. I’m even skipping Friday Night Dinner tonight, I just have so much homework and stuff.”

“Okay. Well, if you have a window in your busy Yale schedule, I was thinking I might swing by tomorrow afternoon. That work for you?” he asked with humour in his voice that she couldn’t miss and mirrored when she replied.

“I think I could pencil in a couple of hours for you,” she said with a smile and a hint of laughter that Jess was more than glad to hear.

* * *

Something was off at the Gilmore mansion. Lorelai was never massively comfortable about coming back to her childhood home for Friday Night Dinner without Rory to act as a buffer between her and Emily and Richard, but there was this whole other strange vibe she was getting tonight.

They had their drinks in hand, waiting for dinner to be served at seven sharp. Richard was talking but only very little. Emily had hardly said a word and it was creeping the hell out of Lorelai, yet she was afraid to ask what was going on.

“So, anything new with you guys?” she asked after a while, deciding a little vague feeling out of the situation might be her safest option - it wasn’t.

“Well, I don’t know, Lorelai. I’m not sure we should share our life altering stories with you. I mean, it’s hardly a fair exchange when we hear so little about your life.”

Lorelai got a horrible sinking feeling as she looked from her mom to her dad and back. Things she hadn’t told them. It was a fairly long list, but there was one particularly significant shift in her life that she never had gotten around to explaining, that they also might just have stumbled upon without her saying a word.

“I had a particularly interesting conversation with Floyd Stiles the other day,” said Richard, staring into his glass before taking a drink.

“Right.” Lorelai nodded once. “So you know I was dating Jason?”

“Lorelai what on Earth were you thinking?” asked Emily crossly. “Of all the men in the world, why Jason Stiles? You know he was in business with your father, this could have had a terrible impact on the company!”

“But it didn’t!” she insisted, looking to Richard. “It didn’t right? I mean, we dated, it didn’t work out, we broke up. Everything is still fine, isn’t it?”

“Well, er, as a matter of fact... and this has nothing to do with your relationship, obviously,” Richard explained. “Floyd recently offered me my job back and I accepted. It seems he was quite ready to sue us, and the only way to avoid such a disastrous mess was to dissolve the company and... go back.”

He couldn’t look at her when he said it and Lorelai had a horrible feeling she knew just exactly why.

“What does that mean for Jason?” she asked, knowing when Richard got up to refresh his drink never saying a word or even glancing her way that she had her answer. “Beautiful,” she said to herself, downing the rest of her martini.

“Well, apparently you're not dating him anymore, Lorelai, so you won't have to hear him complain,” said Emily snippily. “Besides, you’re the one that ended things with him, from what we were told. Rumour has it that your attention was in so small part diverted by a certain diner owner, though I can’t imagine what you see in him,” she muttered, moving to get up and have her drink refilled also.

“That's ridiculous!” said Lorelai, like a reflex, in spite of the real truth of the matter.

“Well, perhaps, Lorelai, going forward, if you could just mention if you're in a serious relationship with anyone relevant to our lives, that would be helpful,” Richard advised, holding out his hand for her glass so he could get her another.

“Because obviously unless who I'm dating affects your business you couldn't care less who he was?”

“Lorelai, don't be facetious,” her father told her.

Lorelai shook her head, eyes closed a moment as she tried to regain some composure and not lose it. She really, really wished Rory was there right now.

* * *

“And all I kept thinking was ‘Man, I wish Rory was here to take just a little heat off me with talk of her punk-ass boyfriend that Emily can’t stand!’”

Rory tried not to laugh at the way her mom phrased her thoughts. She actually ought to be offended on Jess’ behalf, but since she knew Lorelai was kidding about the insulting parts she let it go.

“I am sorry I wasn’t there,” she apologised sincerely. “I mean, not so Grandma could be mean about Jess, but so you would have had someone to draw a little of the fire.”

“Thank you!” said Lorelai dramatically. “Well, school comes first, and you can make it up to me by graduating top of your class, getting a job that pays a fortune, and keeping me in the comfort to which I hope to become accustomed.”

“Absolutely,” Rory assured her semi-seriously. “In the meantime, is everything else okay?”

“Peach keen, jellybean,” said Lorelai around a mouthful of what Rory could only guess was ice-cream or similar, anything to make herself feel better after a run-in with what she called the Emily Monster. “You been getting your study on?”

“Just finished for tonight,” said Rory, tossing her pen onto the desk and closing up a couple of text books. “Your call was timely.”

“Honestly? I was a little worried the line would be tied up with you and James Dean making googly eyes at each other.”

“You’re tired and upset so I’m going to let it slide that one cannot make googly eyes via phone, and move right on with the conversation. Jess and I talked earlier, plus he’s dropping by tomorrow after the lunch rush at the diner,” she explained. “Speaking of, have you seen Luke much lately?”

It was a tenuous link, but after what Jess had said earlier about Luke and her mom avoiding each other, Rory kind of wanted to see what she could glean about the relationship that wasn’t quite there yet.

“Er, yeah, I saw Luke. Briefly, anyway. He was running around with Kirk, something about eggs.”

“Oh, okay.”

There was an awkward pause and then Lorelai spoke again.

“Why the questions about Luke?”

“Nothing, no reason,” Rory told her, shaking her head for added emphasis in spite of the fact her mother couldn’t see her from more than twenty miles away. “You guys are cool, right?”

“Me and Luke? Sure. I mean, we’re fine, we’re... we’re me and Luke.”

“Okay. So long as you’re not avoiding him or anything. Jess just mentioned you haven’t been in the diner much.”

“Well I’m a little busy, honey. An inn does not set up itself!”

There was something unconvincing about the way she said it, Rory knew she had hit a nerve. Not that she doubted her mom was run off her feet and stressed out as hell with the inn, but that hadn’t stopped her going into the diner before. It certainly hadn’t kept her and Luke from being friends, as evidenced in no small part by the investment he had made in the Dragonfly a few weeks ago.

“Mom?” Rory prompted, knowing there was more to be said.

When Lorelai sighed heavily, it was clear the truth was coming out.

“I may have been avoiding the diner a little,” she admitted, rubbing her forehead with her free hand. “Rory, Mommy’s a little scared. There’s a chance that... that I may have feelings for Luke,” she confessed, wincing at the sound of her own words that had never been spoken aloud until now. “Go ahead, tell me I’m crazy.”

“Not crazy,” said Rory definitely. “Well, I mean, you are a little crazy, but not for liking Luke. He’s the best guy, Mom, we both know that. If you like him and he likes you, why does that have to be a bad thing?”

“It wouldn’t freak you out?” Lorelai checked. “Me dating your boyfriend’s uncle?”

“I don’t see what difference that makes. Pretty sure it’s freaking you out more than it’s bothering me.”

Lorelai smiled at that. “You’re too smart for your own good.”

“It’s why Yale accepted me.”

“And Harvard and Princeton too. Thanks, kid.”

“Anytime.”

Their call ended soon after. Lorelai tossed the phone on the table and looked down at the ice-cream melting in the container in her lap. Maybe it wasn’t comfort she was looking for. Maybe it was something else, or someone else. She was missing Luke, that was for certain, but the idea of facing him messed with her head. The past few days, Lorelai had made excuses to herself, that she couldn’t mix business with pleasure and since Luke was an investor in the inn a relationship of more than friends would be wrong; that he was in the middle of a divorce and she was on the rebound too; that she was just too busy to go into the diner each day; that there was no way Luke could be feeling what she was feeling so what was the point in trying?

“No more excuses,” she said to herself, taking the spoon out of the ice-cream container and shoving the lid on hard. She took a moment, took a breath and considered. After a few seconds more, the lid was back off the container, the spoon shoved deep into the Rocky Road. “Starting tomorrow.”


	19. Chapter 19

Jess was leaning on the doorjamb waiting for Rory to answer his knock. He got a real surprise when a much shorter, curly haired girl appeared instead.

“Hi!” she greeted him with big grin. “You must be Jess, Rory’s boyfriend, right? I’m Tanna. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

It all came out in such a rush, Jess was only glad he was used to the speed at which the Gilmore girls spoke, otherwise he might not have caught a word.

“Yeah, pleasure,” he echoed, shaking the hand she was offering him because what else was he going to do? “Er, is Rory around?”

“Her class ran late so she’s still getting changed, but come on in,” said Tanna, ushering Jess into the dorm. “Have a seat.”

“Oh good, it’s Bukowski again,” said Paris acidly, apparently tiring of C-Span and turning the TV off. “Is it wrong that I hoped you’d crawled back under your rock by now?”

“Paris.” Jess nodded once. “Didn’t think you’d be here. Isn’t there an old fossil you should be throwing yourself all over right now?”

Paris glared, knowing she was limited as to comebacks. Nobody was supposed to know she was dating Asher, though clearly Rory had let slip to her boyfriend. Paris was burning and yet could say nothing. Tanna laughed.

“Paris doesn’t take archaeology or geology,” she told Jess with a giggle. “Why would you think that?”

“Must’ve heard wrong,” he said with a shrug, smirk in full effect as Paris slammed into the bedroom she shared with Rory.

A second later, Rory herself appeared, looking confused.

“What did you do?” she asked Jess, gesturing back towards the room where Paris was now seething within.

“I asked an innocent question and she flew off the handle,” he said, looking much less than blameless. “You know Paris.”

“Yes, and I know you too,” she said with a smile she couldn’t help. “Bad boy,” she told him, kissing him hello.

“It’s why you love me.”

“One of the reasons, maybe.”

“You two are so cute!” said Tanna, reminding Rory and Jess that she was even there. “Would it be weird if I took your picture?”

“Rory...” said Jess, his expression somewhere between alarmed and annoyed.

“Maybe another time,” she told Tanna, quickly heading for the door with Jess’ hand in her own. “We have to go or we’ll be late.”

Outside the door, Rory breathed a sight of relief and leaned back against the wall.

Jess frowned some. “What exactly are we going to be late for?”

“I have no idea, I just thought you wanted to get out of there.”

Jess smiled and checked his watch. “Actually, we’ve got some time. I figured you’d need food before.”

“Before what, Secret Squirrel?” she asked curiously, even as she took the hand he offered her. “You’re awfully mysterious today.”

“That’ll be another one of those reasons why you love me,” he said, pulling her in close to wrap his arm round her shoulders.

“I guess it would be,” she agreed as they headed out to his car.

They drove into New Haven proper and stopped at the same diner they had eaten at a couple of weeks before. Lunch was nice, they talked about nothing important, and then Jess started checking his watch again.

“You really want to be punctual for something,” said Rory with a half-smile. “Gonna tell me what it is yet?”

“Wouldn’t be a surprise if I did.”

Jess said nothing more as he paid for their food and headed back outside. Rory went automatically to the car and then realised her boyfriend wasn’t with her. She turned around and found him gesturing for her to follow him down the street on foot.

“Curiouser and curiouser,” she said as she reached his side and took his hand again.

“And in this scenario I’m the White Rabbit?” he checked.

“Checking your watch a lot and leading me into the unknown? I’d say so.”

“Touché.”

They walked a little longer and then suddenly Jess stopped, so abruptly in fact that Rory nearly bumped into him. Confused, she turned to look at the building next to them and then at Jess. He didn’t say a word and Rory didn’t get a chance to ask for an explanation when a woman stepped out of a nearby car and proffered her hand to Jess.

“Mr Mariano?” she checked, glad to realise she was right. “Marion Foster. Come right this way.”

“She’s a realtor,” Rory noted as they followed her inside.

“Yup.”

“You’re getting an apartment in this building?”

“Maybe,” said Jess with a smile. “Kind of depends.”

“On what?”

“On you.”

“On me?”

Conversation halted as Marion stopped on the second floor landing and the couple stopped behind her.

“Welcome to Apartment 2B,” she said, opening the door and ushering Jess and Rory inside.

It was small, there was no denying that, but on Jess’ budget that was to be expected. As they wandered around together, Marion explained there was only one bedroom, a small kitchen area that was practically part of the living room, and a tiny bathroom with only a toilet, shower cubicle, and basin. It was definitely a one-person, first time apartment, but it was clean, decently priced, and it was in New Haven. That was all Jess was really looking for.

“What do you think?” he asked Rory, her hand still clasped in his own.

“It’s nice. Clean, cosy,” she said diplomatically. “Plus closer than 22.8 miles to Yale,” she added with a smile.

“So you like it?” Jess checked.

“Well, yeah, but it’s not me that’s going to pay the rent on it,” she reminded him.

Jess pulled on her hand until she was close in to his side. “Well, I plan on having you over to visit, a lot.”

Rory felt the blush rising in her cheeks at what that implied. She probably would’ve felt embarrassed at the best of times, but with the realtor stood across the room pretending not to hear them, it was all the worse. It was nice though, knowing her opinion on this place mattered so much to Jess, that he wanted to include her in this decision. The very fact he wanted a home of his own in New Haven rather than Stars Hollow or anywhere else just to be closer to her thrilled Rory anyway.

“If you like it you should take it,” she told him happily. “I’d be more than fine with coming over.”

“Okay,” he agreed, turning to Marion. “Where do I sign?”

* * *

Lorelai had her head in her purse, trying to dig out one of many notepads she had been scribbling thoughts and ideas for the inn into, and failing to find the one she really needed. She was not looking where she was going at all, so it was little surprise when she tripped down the kerb into the road. She would have landed on her butt, or worse on her face, if not for the swift actions of a passerby. Lucky for Lorelai, it was no stranger that had seen her almost take a tumble.

“Luke,” she reacted with surprise at the sight of him, and with no little awkwardness as she noted his arms around her body. “Um, thanks. I guess I was a little distracted,” she said as he put her back on her feet on the sidewalk and retracted his hands immediately.

“Things still crazy at the Dragonfly?” Luke guessed.

“I swear the more things I cross off the list the longer it gets. How does that even work?” she said, shaking her head.

There they both stood just staring at each other, neither knowing what to say next. It was so bizarre. They could always talk to each other. They had been friends and confidantes for years now and though they had been known to have the occasional fight, they always came through it okay. This time there was no big blow-out, no actual problem or unpleasantness, they just seemed to have lost the ability to look each other in the eye and say what they really thought or felt.

“So,” said Luke, but no more words came.

“So,” Lorelai echoed just the same. “Um, I should probably get going... to the inn,” she added, gesturing in the right direction.

Luke nodded, watched her walk by him to go, then literally face-palmed.

“This is crazy,” he muttered. “Lorelai!” he called, stopping her from walking out into the road again, though thankfully she didn’t trip this time.

Turning slowly, her face showed surprise at his sudden yell. “I looked both ways,” she insisted.

“No, I know, I... Maybe I’m reading too much into this but have you... have you been avoiding me? Or the diner, you’ve been avoiding the diner, my diner, right?”

“Luke, that’s...” she began, about to say it was crazy, a ludicrous suggestion, but she just couldn’t do it. “That’s true,” she admitted instead, coming back to stand before him. “Luke, I am so sorry. It’s not your fault, it’s not anything. Well, actually, it is something. I wish I could explain this properly without making an idiot out of myself. I almost guarantee you’re going to laugh when I get through telling you this,” she said, laughing herself, though more out of nerves than anything else. “See, the other day, you were talking about Nicole and I was talking about Jason, how we’re both done with those relationships and the whole wondering if we could ever find the right person and... and the truth is sometimes I think I have. Found the right person, I mean, but I’m not sure.”

She met Luke’s eyes with such an earnest gaze, he couldn’t fail to realise what she was asking. Lorelai felt something for him, she had to, otherwise none of this made any sense. She needed to know that she wasn’t on her own here, that maybe Luke actually understood and felt the same.

“I know what you mean,” he assured her, voice too soft to his own ears but he pressed on regardless. “Lorelai, I’m not... I can’t just come out and say things, that’s not me, not when it’s feelings and... God, this is so stupid!”

Lorelai wasn’t sure if he thought what he was feeling was stupid or just the fact he couldn’t say it. Honestly, she could sympathise either way. Luke turned away from her a moment adjusting his hat. She looked to her shoes and took a deep breath. Almost as if they were both counting down to the moment of speaking, they looked at each other again in the exact same second, and said almost the exact same words.

“Luke, do you want to go out sometime?”

“You want to have dinner with me sometime?”

When they realised what they had done, both seemed to let out a sigh of relief. He smiled, she outright laughed. They really were a pair of fools, and nobody knew that better than Luke and Lorelai themselves.

“So that was kind of a revelation, huh?” she said, still smiling.

“Apparently we’re both on the same page, so that’s something,” he replied.

“Okay, so we’re doing this? A date. You and me.”

“Seems that way.”

“Maybe I could drop by the diner later and we could settle on a time and a place?”

“I’d like that.”

Luke was smiling so wide he felt like his face was going to split in two, but he couldn’t care. This was finally happening. He was asking Lorelai out and she was saying yes, or more accurately they were asking each other out and coming to some agreement that they both wanted this to work out. He felt like the lead in some sappy romance novel for teenage girls or similar, but Luke couldn’t care less.

“So, now I really do have to go,” said Lorelai, though she never moved an inch.

“Me too,” Luke realised, not shifting at all.

They were in the street where anyone could see them, and yet it felt like maybe they were the only two people in the world right now. There was an overwhelming urge to be closer together than the three feet that currently existed between them. Not seeing each other for more than a week and now suddenly knowing they were going to go ahead and try dating, it required more than a friendly smile and walking away.

Lorelai moved in for what she intended to be a hug. Luke went with it, wrapping his arms around her, but somehow their faces just seemed to line up and then the moment overtook them. Which of them moved first was anyone’s guess but suddenly they were joined at the lips right there on the pavement. When they parted seconds later she actually looked a little overwhelmed. Luke couldn’t deny he felt the same. Untangling themselves from each other’s arms, they both took a step back, the pair of them grinning like idiots still.

“So, I’ll see you later,” said Lorelai.

“I’ll have the coffee on standby,” he teased her gently, just like old times.

It felt good to see him smile and hear him talk that way, but as Lorelai gave a little wave and turned to go, she knew this wasn’t old times anymore. This was very new times, the tingling sensation in her lips and the bounce in her step proved that. Reaching quickly for her cell phone, she speed-dialled Rory’s number and impatiently waited through three rings before her daughter picked up.

“I’m going on a date with Luke!”

The happy squeal from the other end of the line was probably heard all the way to New Jersey!


	20. Chapter 20

“Nothing’s working!”

Lorelai was throwing another potential date outfit onto the bed in frustration when Rory appeared in the bedroom doorway.

“Mom, you’re over-thinking!” she insisted, coming in with a cardigan over one arm and a handful of bracelets that she dropped down onto the vanity. “The last three outfits we picked out were great.”

“Yes, they were great,” Lorelai agreed, “but they weren’t 'first date with Luke' great. I don’t think I own anything that is up to the aforementioned level of greatness. Do you have something?”

“Well, maybe, but I personally think you’re being a little crazy about this whole thing,” said Rory in the kindest way she could. “Mom, seriously, what is wrong? Because somehow I don’t believe this is all about clothes.”

She had a hold of Lorelai by the shoulders, trying to meet her eyes. Her mom could be a little highly strung at the best of times, and it wasn’t as if Rory didn’t know this was a big deal. Dating Luke was a huge leap for Lorelai, but it was the right thing, Rory was sure on that. They had to be sure too or they wouldn’t be going ahead with the occasion.

“I don’t know,” said Lorelai eventually, heaving a huge sigh. “I don’t, I just... It’s Luke,” she said at last, pushing her hair back off her face dramatically. “It’s me and it’s Luke and... and I couldn’t be happier that it’s happening, but at the same time, I’m terrified, Rory. Aside from you and Sook, Luke is my best friend. If this doesn’t work out...”

“Why is it not working out?” asked Rory when her mom’s voice trailed away.

“Er, it’s me, and it’s a relationship, with a guy?!”

“Mom, come on. You’re the one who told me that I can’t judge my future relationships on my past ones. Comparing Jess to Dean was part of the reason everything went so wrong with us the first time around,” Rory reminded her with a look. “You can’t expect things to end badly with Luke just because they did with Jason.”

“And Alex. And Max. And Christopher,” she counted off on her fingers, sitting down heavily on the end of the bed. “Let’s face it, babe, I’m a train-wreck when it comes to men.”

“You are not a train-wreck,” said Rory definitely, sitting down beside her and putting an arm around her shoulders. “You are the most awesome woman in all the world, and some guys are intimidated by that, which is probably why things go wrong,” she explained. “Luke isn’t freaked out by anything about you. If he still wants to date you after all these years, what could there possibly be to scare him away now?”

Lorelai smiled and hugged Rory close. “You’re a very smart kid.”

“Well, I was raised by a very smart lady.” 

After that Lorelai gained a little perspective and a little more focus. Rory selected a dress and cardigan combo that looked great on her mom and thankfully Lorelai was ready before Luke showed up to take her out.

“Wait here,” Rory instructed as she went to answer the door. “Then you can make a real entrance.”

“It’s a date, not Prom!” Lorelai called after her.

In spite of what she said, she was actually pretty grateful for the minute or two of alone time to calm her nerves and double-check her makeup and hair in the mirror. After a few moments of final primping, Lorelai picked up her purse and headed for the stairs. Descending like a princess, she was glad to see Luke smile at the sight of her. He really did look good, all dressed up for a date in a blue button down and without the usual hat.

“Come on,” said Rory quietly, dragging Jess into the kitchen.

“You didn’t want to watch the dorkiness?” he asked, almost falling into the table thanks to the force with which she pulled on his sleeve. “Seriously, Luke has been like a teenager getting ready for Prom all day long.”

“It’s been a little like that here, but I kind of expected it,” said Rory, lowering her voice so her mom and Luke wouldn’t hear. “Ooh, you brought food?”

“Prerequisite for a date with a Gilmore,” said Jess, dumping the paper bag on the table.

The moment Rory reached for it, he got in her way, pulling her into his arms for a long kiss. She was smiling when they parted, and all the more so when she overheard Luke complimenting Lorelai’s dress as they went out of the front door.

“Is it weird that I find them adorable?”

“It’s cool that they’re finally getting around to this.” Jess shrugged, refusing to weigh in on the adorable scale. “So, I’m guessing you have movies planned?”

“Of course,” she said, grinning wide as she slipped out of his arms to find plates for the food and sodas to go along with. “I’m still amazed you could come over tonight. With Luke going out, I kind of expected him not to trust anyone else with the diner.”

“He and Lane have an understanding, and Caesar is there too,” Jess explained.

“I guess Lane wants to work as many shifts as she can right now, for the distraction,” said Rory thoughtfully. “Mrs Kim taking in that foreign exchange student kind of threw her for a loop.”

“Yeah, kind of weird to think of anybody being jealous of a person living with the Kim Monster, but Lane’s really feeling bad about it.”

“I think it’s great you two are friends now. I always thought you should be.” Rory smiled.

“You’d have everybody in the world get along if they could,” said Jess, rolling his eyes as he grabbed the food and followed Rory to the living room. “Y’know when I get my own place fixed up and furnished, we won’t have to wait for your mom or Paris to go out to be alone.”

“And why exactly would we need to be alone?” asked Rory in all fake innocence.

Getting up from putting the movie on, she stepped towards the couch and Jess grabbed her hand, pulling her down into his lap.

“C’mere and I’ll tell you,” he said, planting his lips on hers.

“Mmm, good reason,” Rory murmured, kissing him back in equal measure.

The movie began, but for now at least, nobody was watching.

* * *

“This place is so great,” said Lorelai happily sipping her drink. “I love that you have a Luke’s of your own.”

“I guess you could put it like that.” Luke smiled. “It’s nice to be able to share it with you.”

He was looking at her much like that day in the diner that had so freaked out Lorelai. Now it wasn’t scary anymore, because she knew what it meant, that she and Luke were on the same page and very happy to be so. Dinner at Sniffy’s was going well so far and she saw no reason why it wouldn’t continue to be so. She and Luke always found plenty to talk about and had been good friends for so many years. This new place in their relationship still felt a little strange yet, but in a really good way.

“Did I mention how sorry I am for the whole avoiding you thing?” she checked then. “’Cause I really, really am.”

“About fifty times,” Luke assured her. “And I don’t want you to be sorry, Lorelai. I understand. I wasn’t exactly seeking you out either, even though I did want to. Jess even talked to me about it.”

“Jess?” said Lorelai with evident surprise. “Jess encouraged you to talk to me about... this,” she said, gesturing between them.

“He did.” Luke nodded once, sipping his beer. “Apparently it was just so damn obvious that I liked you and you liked me, and it was driving him nuts that we hadn’t just got to dating already.”

“Well, maybe the boy does have brains.”

“Clearly he does.”

“I have to say, for all the problems we had when he came to town the first time, it’s better now,” Lorelai admitted.

“Yeah, that first meeting was a doozy,” Luke recalled. “He was in a bad place then. It’s different now," he agreed. “Hey, should we really be spending our first date talking about my nephew?”

“I don’t think so.” Lorelai laughed. “Okay, so what about us? You remember the day we first met?” she asked him, thinking about it herself. “It had to be at Luke’s, but I can’t quite picture it.”

“It was at Luke’s, it was at lunch...”

Luke began to relay the tale of the very first time he ever saw Lorelai and the events that transpired. He even pulled out a horoscope she had given him all those years ago and told him to hold onto, so he had.

Lorelai was overcome, lost for words, which was extremely rare for her. Luke had that power, to completely bowl her over, and never more so than tonight. When he told her he was 'all in' when it came to their relationship and asked if that scared her, Lorelai still couldn’t find the words at first. She shook her head, swallowed hard, and then answered.

“No, not scared,” she promised. “I’m all in too, Luke, and for maybe the first time ever in my life, that’s not scary, because it’s you.”

Her hand crept across the table to land on his arm, and they shared a smile that was quickly followed by a kiss. Lorelai was giggling when they parted.

“You do know that we don’t actually get a choice in this thing working out anyway, right?” she told a bemused looking Luke. “Seriously, the whole town knows about this date. From what Miss Patty told me yesterday, they’ve been waiting years for this to happen. I’m pretty sure if it didn’t work out one of us would have to leave town in disgrace. Maybe both of us.”

“That town is as crazy as it seems.” Luke rolled his eyes. “But I’m not worried.”

“Me either.” Lorelai smiled widely, moving in for one more kiss.

* * *

The making out had gone on for a while at The Crap Shack, until an incident in which Rory and Jess completely squashed the remote, pressing down on the volume control and almost deafening themselves with the soundtrack to Empire Records. They parted awkwardly, with Rory suddenly realising quite how far she had let things go. Her eyes went to the food abandoned on the table and she cleared her throat, refastened her shirt, and fixed her hair.

“Um, we should probably eat,” she said, reaching for the bag.

“Probably,” Jess agreed, pushing a hand back through his hair, trying to think of anything else rather than what he and Rory had almost been doing.

They both had food to eat and started concentrating on the movie, so that helped. Though they had missed the first twenty minutes, they didn’t bother to wind the tape back. Empire Records was a classic, they had both seen it several times. When a knock came on the door, Rory didn’t even pause the tape to go see who was there.

Jess rolled his eyes when he heard Babette on the doorstep checking everything was okay because she heard raised voices and knew Lorelai was out tonight.

“It was just the TV, Babette,” Rory assured her. “I’m sorry if it startled you.”

“No problem, sugar. So long as you’re doin’ okay.”

She left fairly quickly after that and Rory returned to the couch, deliberately sitting a little closer to Jess.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her head on his shoulder.

“For what?” he checked. “The neighbour being nosey? Newsflash, Ror, I'm used to that in Stars Hollow.”

“Yes and no,” said Rory, sighing. “I mean, she only came over because she worries about me. I don’t think she really thought anything bad was going on.”

Jess said nothing.

“Also, about before. I’m sorry for that too. I feel like I’m leading you on or something,” she admitted, making herself sit up and meet his eyes. “I don’t mean to, but I get caught up in the moment sometimes, and it’s a really great moment.”

“Not gonna argue with that,” said Jess with a smile.

“But then I stop the moment, every time, and I feel like... like you’re suffering, and I’m causing that, and-”

“Rory, stop,” Jess told her sharply. “C’mon, just stop. Look, I’m not denying that I like being close to you, and that I’d get a whole lot closer if you wanna let me, but it’s not all about me. I love you,” he reminded her, a hand at her cheek, making her meet his eyes. “Means I think you’re worth waiting for, no matter how long it takes, okay?”

“Yeah, I know,” she said with a smile. “You’re the greatest boyfriend in the world, you know that, right?”

Jess was smirking at her comment as he hugged her closer and kissed the top of her head.

“Watch the movie,” he told her, glad when she settled into his side to do just that.


	21. Chapter 21

Jess wasn’t entirely surprised when he got to the diner early in the morning and found it still locked up. Luke was usually a stickler for early rising and getting everything done so they could open up at what Jess always thought was a pretty unreasonable hour. Of course, last night was Luke’s first official date with Lorelai and somehow Jess figured that made a difference.

Letting himself into the diner, he looked towards the curtain and the stairs beyond that led upstairs. There was no movement, not even the tiniest of sounds. Jess smirked as he removed his jacket and hung it on the hook. First job was putting on the coffee, then he got to the usual early morning set up, taking down chairs and checking the ketchups were filled up. He had his back to the counter when he heard soft footsteps approaching. He turned in time to see the curtain pulled back and there was Lorelai - in nothing but one of Luke’s plaid shirts.

“Aaw, jeez!” Jess turned back fast, sure it was not at all appropriate for him to be seeing his uncle’s girlfriend (and his girlfriend’s mother) in such a state of undress.

“Damn it, Jess!” Lorelai cursed, pulling the curtain in front of the lower part of her body. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, what am I doing?” he asked, squinting at her through half-closed eyes until he was sure she was a little closer to decent than before. “This is a diner, not a strip club. I’m trying to get set up here.”

Lorelai opened her mouth to protest some more but closed it without any sound coming out.

“You make an excellent point,” she noted then. “Um, I was just... Coffee,” she said, pointing to the machine with a pathetic look on her face.

Jess took pity on her. After all, he and Lorelai were getting on better these days and he didn’t hate that, not just for Rory and Luke’s sakes, but for his own too. With a heaving sigh like it was just such an inconvenience, he moved behind the counter, retrieved one of the pots from the coffee machine plus two mugs and brought them to where Lorelai was half-hidden behind the curtain still.

“You’re a peach,” she told him gratefully. “Thanks, Jess.”

“No problem,” he told her, shrugging his shoulders. “Although I should probably be asking you if your intentions towards my uncle are honourable.”

His smirk was wicked as ever. Lorelai couldn’t help but laugh.

“Completely honourable,” she told him.

Jess nodded that he understood and then moved to turn away. Lorelai did the same, but stopped at the last minute and looked back.

“Hey, speaking of honourable intentions-”

“I slept at the band’s place last night,” Jess cut in without a moment’s hesitation, way before the question was ever asked. “I had a feeling maybe you and Luke had sleepover plans, and either way it seemed like a good idea to not be around. Rory crashed out around midnight, I was bunked in with Zach and Brian by twelve thirty.”

“Cosy,” said Lorelai with a look.

“And not to be repeated,” Jess replied with a look of his own. “Nice guys, but Brian snores like a train and Zach hums chord progressions in his sleep.”

Lorelai actually bust up laughing at those revelations, and Jess couldn’t help but smile himself. It sounded like he was kidding, but unfortunately he wasn’t. Anyway, he knew Lorelai was most likely laughing more out of relief than anything else. She was protective of Rory, as any decent mother should be. Jess didn’t always like that, but he respected it at least.

“So, we’re cool?” he checked with Lorelai. “You believe me?”

“I believe you,” she agreed, nodding her head. “I guess it’s not really my place to pass judgement anyway. I mean, first date here led to... activities, and Rory is in college now, all grown up. It’s not really my business if she wants to... indulge in activities.”

“For what it’s worth, my intentions? Also honourable,” Jess promised her.

Lorelai nodded and smiled. “Good to know.”

She thanked him one more time for the coffee and then rushed upstairs with her java in hand. Jess took in a deep breath and let it out again in one.

“That was weird,” he said to himself, getting back to the task at hand.

Somehow he doubted he would be getting help from Luke any time soon.

* * *

“It is way too long since we got chance to hang out like this,” said Rory definitely.

Lane re-joined her on the couch, placing a bowl of chips and another of popcorn on the table in front of them.

“Well, you have been a little distracted with the boyfriend,” she noted, encouraging Rory to dig into the snacks and taking a handful of popcorn for herself. “Not that I’m complaining, you know I could not be happier for you, but I do miss you sometimes.”

“I know, I miss you too,” Rory assured her, hugging a cushion. “It’s kind of hard to juggle everything lately, with Yale, and Mom, the grandparents, Jess, but I’m trying, I swear.”

“I get it, Rory, don’t worry.” Lane smiled. “Speaking of your mom, the whole town is talking about the great Lorelai and Luke romance. I love that it’s finally happening for them!”

“Me too! They both mean so much to me, I only want them to be happy, and finally it seems like they are.” Rory grinned. “It should feel weird, I mean, with Luke being Jess’ uncle and dating my mom, but it’s not. It actually just feels right.”

Lane gave up on reaching for handfuls of snacks then and put both bowls in the space on the couch between them, pulling her legs up under her body to be more comfortable.

“So you and Jess,” she said with ineterest and a mouth half-full of food. “It’s all going well this time?”

“Very well,” said Rory definitely. “Very, very well,” she emphasised with a grin, even as the heat rose in her cheeks.

“Rory, do you need to share something with the best friend?” asked Lane, getting a vibe she thought she understood. “Something like a big step in a particular direction? I know it can’t have happened last night, because Jess was on this very couch a little after midnight, and I would hope he would be more of a gentleman than to come and go like that.”

“Okay, first, eew! You have spent too much time with boys,” said Rory, wrinkling her nose at the phrasing. “But anyway, it hasn’t happened yet. It did come pretty close last night though.”

“Ooh, details!” said Lane, clapping her hands madly. “I haven’t been so much as kissed since Dave, and I may yet die an old maid, so I am living as vicariously as possible via you!”

“Lane!” Rory gasped, turning crimson all over, she was sure. “I’m not... You don’t really want all the details, do you?”

“Well, no, not ALL the details.” Lane rolled her eyes. “What am I? A pervert? No! Just the vagaries. You really think you’re ready for that big step?”

“I’m starting to think so. I was pretty sure last year, a little before everything went south and Jess left for California.”

“Is that what bothers you? If you let him get that close and then he might leave again?”

“No,” said Rory, without a moment’s pause. “No, I trust him now. Me and Jess, we’re in a better place. I know we’re both in it for the long haul this time, that’s not the issue.”

“So, what is?”

Rory opened her mouth to answer that question but then closed it again fast. She had no reason not to be honest, save for the fact that she wasn’t entirely certain she knew what the truth of the matter was.

“I don’t know,” she admitted eventually. “I honestly don’t, except... Well, it’s just a big deal, I guess. The first time, it’s supposed to be a big deal, isn’t it?”

“It should be.” Lane nodded. “But if you love Jess and he loves you, isn’t that all you really need?”

“Oh, I wanna be ready!” said Rory, frustrated with her own inability just to be in that place. “And Jess is so sweet about waiting, even though I know it’s killing him, which actually makes me want him more. I wish I knew why I can never quite go that far.”

Lane felt equal parts sympathy and jealousy right now. She hated seeing her best friend so mixed up and conflicted, but at the same time she would so love to be in Rory’s position. If Dave had stuck around, this could be her right now. The two of them would probably be in a similar position to Rory and Jess, considering next steps and all. As it was, she didn’t even have a guy in her sights at the moment, and wondered if any man would ever look at her the way she had seen Jess look at Rory.

“Well, maybe don’t think about it so much,” she advised after some consideration. “Just let it happen. I mean, I have no experience of these things, but if all the movies, songs, and novels have a clue what they’re talking about, you just go with it and eventually it’ll just feel right. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“I guess it will,” Rory agreed, letting her head rest on the couch cushions and her body sink in just the same.

“And maybe one day it’ll happen to me. When I’m forty or something.”

“Aww, Lane.” Rory sympathised with her friend’s plight. “C’mon, let’s change the subject. How’re things with the band?”

“All good. Our last gig was a smash. Plus, living with the guys is surprisingly okay. They don’t always clean up after themselves so well and the budgeting is my job, but we get along.”

“That’s what matters.”

“It seems so weird sometimes, how far we’ve come in a year.” There was a faraway look in Lane’s eyes as she mirrored her friend’s position, curled into the couch cushions comfortably. “I mean, yes, you were dating Jess then and you are again, but now Lorelai and Luke are together, I’ve left home, Dean is married... Oh my God, did you hear the latest about him and Lindsay?” she said, suddenly upright in a second.

“I know he’s been working for Tom at the Dragonfly,” said Rory, wondering if that was it. “College seems to be off the table at this point.”

“Kinda sad.”

“Kinda is, but hey, it’s his choice, his life.”

“But that’s not what people are saying,” Lane insisted, shaking her head before leaning in to all but whisper to Rory, despite the fact they were quite alone. “You know I’m not exactly Miss Patty when it comes to gossip, but I did hear that Lindsay makes all Dean’s choices for him. She wants a townhouse and every luxury, which is why he’s working so much and giving up the whole education thing.”

Rory frowned. “He doesn’t have to let her rule him.”

“True,” Lane agreed. “He had so much potential.”

“He did, and I’m sad for him that he’s not living up to it,” said Rory thoughtfully, “but it’s none of my business anymore. I mean, I care, of course I do. Dean meant a lot to me, and a part of me will always love him, which is why I wish he wasn’t throwing his life away, but it is his choice. He chose marriage to Lindsay, I chose Yale.”

“And Jess,” said Lane with a smile.

“And Jess,” echoed Rory, grinning just the same. “He makes me so happy, Lane. I know there was a time when I questioned if I’d done the right thing in being with him, but it’s so different now. It’s all the good parts of what we had and none of the bad.”

“You seem happy,” Lane agreed. “Even before, when things weren’t always great, when you’re with Jess you always seem... I don’t know, more Rory. The best version of yourself, and so happy you’re practically glowing!”

Rory laughed at that. It sounded so strange and yet she kind of knew what Lane meant. Jess didn’t define her or her life, but he did make her a happier version of herself, she had to admit that.

“Well, now we just need to get you happy,” she told Lane definitely, snagging a few more chips from the bowl.

“Meh, I’ll be fine,” said her best friend, waving away her concern. “Seeing you happy with Jess and Lorelai happy with Luke, it helps. It gives me hope.”

Rory smiled. It gave her hope too, that things really could be as good as they seemed. She really was as happy as she said, as happy as she looked, apparently. A lot of that was down to Jess and their relationship that could not be going any better if it tried. She loved him, she was so sure of that now, and there was nothing bad about the feeling.


	22. Chapter 22

“I think you’re going to be really happy here,” said Rory, turning a full circle in the centre of Jess’ new living space.

She had come over today with the specific purpose of spending the whole day, helping him get everything set straight. There was no painting or anything serious in the way of decorating to do when he moved in. The landlord had freshened up the walls and flooring after the last tenant, simply because she had lived there for a good seven years. Everything needed to be cleaned up and redone and so it had been. It was all pretty basic, magnolia and such, but Jess really didn’t care enough to change it. That was time and money he could use not wasting. Luke had supplied the main furniture items, loading up the truck with Jess’ bed, a spare chair, and a two-seater couch he got cheap on his nephew’s behalf, and bringing them all over yesterday. The stove came with the apartment, so all the kitchen needed was smaller appliances which wouldn’t put too big a hole in Jess’ finances. Rory was here to help with arranging cushions, lamps, and such (some donated by Lorelai) and reordering Jess’ book collection onto his new Ikea shelves. She was more than happy to help and it wasn’t much past lunch time when they were finally done. Jess called out for pizza and it had just now arrived.

“I’m happy wherever you are,” he said, leaning in drop a quick kiss on Rory’s lips.

“Corny, but I like it,” she said with a grin as they sat down on the couch.

Jess opened the pizza box on his knees, revealing the largest size a person could buy from Pete’s place, half with pepperoni and half without. Rory smiled even wider, letting Jess know she understood why he did that, then dug into her half of the food.

“So, you were going to tell me about Friday Night Dinner.”

“I was,” Rory realised around a mouhtful of pizza that she swiftly chewed and swallowed. “It was a little weird. Mom was convinced that things were going to be off-balance. After everything with her and Jason, well, you know as well as I do her relationship with her parents has never been all that great anyway.”

“I can relate.”

“So, she was convinced they were mad at her or mad at each other. Somebody was supposed to be angry about something, and yet, nothing.”

“Nothing?” Jess echoed. “No arguments at dinner? No snide comments? No evil looks?” he checked, watching as Rory shook her head. “You sure you were at the right house?”

Rory giggled. “Yes, it was the right house,” she insisted. “I don’t know, I sometimes wonder if there are problems because we go looking for them. I don’t mean to accuse Mom of anything, but she gets a little paranoid around Grandma sometimes. I guess I understand why. Anyway, she talked about the inn. No, actually, Grandma asked about the inn and seemed genuinely excited about it for Mom’s sake. Grandpa even asked if they could book a room for opening week.”

“Wow. That’s cool, I guess,” said Jess, licking sauce from his fingers. “Your mom sure seems stressed over this inn. I hope it’s worth it.”

“It will be,” said Rory, nodding deifnitely. “I know the Dragonfly is going to work out. Her and Sookie have been dreaming about this for as long as I can remember. It’s going to be great.”

“Then good luck to ‘em,” said Jess, picking up his soda bottle from the table and holding it towards Rory.

She grabbed her own and clicked the bottles together with a smile before they both drank. Rory didn’t hate having her mom and Jess get along now. In fact, she would go so far as to say she loved it. With Lorelai and Luke so happy, her and Jess back together, and the grandparents playing nice too, everything seemed to be on the up and up. That was when a frown appeared on her face.

“What?” asked Jess curiously. “You get some of my pepperoni on your slice?”

“No, it’s not the food,” said Rory, though she seemed to be done eating in any case. “It’s silly, I was just thinking, everything is going so well right now. Isn’t this usually the part where something goes wrong?”

“Cynical, much?”

“I know, I’m being dumb.”

“Not dumb,” Jess assured her. “Hey, of all people, I’m usually the one waiting for things to screw up, but I know I gotta change the way I think. You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, you’re not enjoying the good times while you have them. That’s one of the things I did wrong the last time with us.”

“Me too,” Rory admitted, finding a smile. “I guess it’s okay to mess up, so long as you learn from the mistake, don’t let it happen again.”

“Exactly.” Jess nodded. “So, things are good and maybe they’ll stay that way. If they don’t, we’ll cross that bridge when it comes up.”

Rory smiled. “I like that plan,” she said, leaning over to kiss his lips.

There were definitely no more thoughts of pizza as the couple became very distracted by each other. It wasn’t long before they were laid out along the length of the couch, racing past second base and not bothering to slow down yet. Jess lips found the spot on Rory’s neck that made her moan whilst she fumbled with the buttons of his shirt and pushed it down off his shoulders. It all felt so good, Rory really didn’t want to stop. The realisation of it came over her all of a sudden, a delicious shiver coursing through her body that made her smile.

“Jess?” she said close to his ear, her voice barely above a whisper. “I...”

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, moving to sit up.

Rory’s fingers grabbed onto a handful of his T-shirt and kept him from getting away. She couldn’t get her breath for a second, but the smile on her lips ought to have let him know he had done nothing wrong, far from it. She shook her head almost imperceptibly and then slipped out from under his body. Stood by the couch, she was suddenly weirdly self-conscious, even though she was sure on what she wanted to do, and even more certain he wouldn’t be against the idea.

Holding out her hand, she waited a beat for Jess to take it and stand up beside her. Then she headed for his bedroom, and he followed, at least as far as the door.

“Rory,” he said when they got that far, pulling on her hand so she would stop and look at him. “I’m not... You sure about this?”

She nodded without hesitation, moving in to kiss him one more time. It was a confirmation of all she felt, and the way he responded proved he both understood and reciprocated completely. When they parted, Jess held her face in his hands and just looked at her.

“I love you. You know that, right?”

“I know,” she promised, unable to keep from smiling. “I love you too. I’m just a little confused. Shouldn’t I be the one that looks nervous?” she checked, noting that in reality he looked almost more uncertain of what was about to happen here than she ever did.

“Maybe.”

Honestly, it was the only answer Jess could give, not least because the forming of words had suddenly turned into an issue for him. That was new. He always knew what he wanted to say, even when the sentences never did quite made it out of his mouth. On this occasion, Rory had rendered him incapable of even reasonable thought. He had assumed they would reach this moment eventually, that she would finally be ready to be with him this way, but he hadn’t expected to feel like this about it. Overwhelmed, that was a good word for it. Jess Mariano was no stranger to sex, but this was different, this was Rory. Maybe it was her first time ever being with a guy, but this would certainly be the first time sex meant anything to Jess, the first time he loved another person like this.

His fingers trailed down through her hair as he pulled her closer with his other arm. Their lips met in a soft kiss that slowly grew in intensity. He walked her back until her legs hit the bed, then lifted her off her feet to lay her down. Rory had to remind herself to breathe between fevered kisses and overwhelming feelings. She hadn’t been kidding when she said she was nervous, but she was also very sure that this was exactly what she wanted.

“We can take this slow, right?” she asked, feeling a little dumb the moment the words were out there.

She stopped worrying when Jess took a moment to just look at her, brushing strands of hair from her flushed faced.

“Of course,” he promised her, leaning down to kiss her again.

Rory let herself fall into the moment, barely thinking, just feeling. At one point, Jess had to remind her to breathe because she was so overwhelmed she almost forgot again, but it was okay. She felt very safe here, very sure about what was happening. Making love with Jess had to be amazing, she was certain on that, and he didn’t prove her wrong.

* * *

It wasn’t easy making time for each other. Lorelai and Luke were up to their eyes in various kinds of busy of late, Lorelai most especially with the opening of the Dragonfly creeping ever closer. Still, she made every effort to drop by the diner whenever she could.

“You have no idea how much it helps to be able to escape over here just for a wlittle while,” she said as she threw herself onto a stool at the counter.

“I’m guessing you’re here for this,” replied Luke, filling a cup to the brim with hot coffee.

“Not just for this.” Lorelai smiled, leaning over the counter to grab his shirt and pull him close enough to kiss. “Hello, lover,” she said, before planting her lips on his.

“Hello, Crazy Lady,” he replied as they parted, smiling because it was impossible not to. “Feel better now?”

“Always,” she told him definitely, following up their smooch with a long drink of java. “Mmm, change the name of this place to Heaven, babe, because between the coffee and the talent, we got ourselves a paradise right here in the middle of Connecticut.”

“Things still all out at the inn?” asked Luke.

“All out doesn’t even begin to describe! If my To Do list gets any longer they’ll have to put it in the Guinness Book of Records, except they couldn’t because it’d be too long to fit!” Lorelai explained with all her usual drama.

It would usually amuse Luke to no end, but right now he was more worried than he was finding this situation funny,

“You’re working too hard,” he advised, evidentially concerned. “I don’t like seeing you so stressed.”

“This from Mr Easy Going, Laid Back Guy,” she teased. “Honestly, Luke, I’ll be fine. A couple of weeks, we’ll be ready for opening and then it will all have been worth it. Just gotta keep on pushing through a little while longer is all.”

Though she looked as if she meant to say more, and Luke certainly meant to give a reply to what she had already said, neither got the chance. Lorelai’s cell began ringing, just at the same moment a customer came to claim Luke’s attention. With a last sip of coffee, Lorelai got up to go, shooting her boyfriend an apologetic look and a hand signal that seemed to mean she would catch up to him later. He nodded his agreement, even though he didn’t love having another conversation cut short. Luke understood Lorelai was busy. She was quite literally building her dream, but it would be nice if they could have just a little more time together. After all, their dating was still kind of a new thing. He wondered if she was even aware that being with her was a large part of his own dream for the future. The very next chance he got, he certainly did plan on telling her.

Turning his attention to work for now, Luke served the newcomers then got to bussing some tables. He was on his own for now, until Lane came in for her shift at four. Jess had the day off to get his new apartment in order and Luke hoped his nephew was settling into the place okay. He thought about calling him when the next quiet period came up, but just when that seemed to occur the diner door flew open and Luke heard a familiar voice speak to him.

“Hey there, big brother!”

His eyes were wide and jaw was slack as he turned around to see his sister Liz framed in the doorway, one arm held up as if inviting him to come hug her. Her other hand was held firmly by the very same guy who had been here before. Well, if that wasn’t a minor miracle.

“Liz!” 

Luke hurried to greet his sister, hugging her tight. He spoke politely to TJ too, though there was not so much as a hand-shake between the two guys. Neither was all that eager to be close, it seemed.

“What are you doing here?” asked Luke then, ushering the couple over to a table. “I mean, obviously, it’s great to see you, but I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Can’t a girl come visit her big brother once in a while?” asked Liz. “Besides, I hear my son is hanging around here again too, so it was like two birds, one stone. Actually, it’s three birds.”

“That’s not a saying.” Luke frowned. “It’s definitely two birds.”

“Yeah, usually, but today it’s three,” his sister insisted. “See, I get to see you, I get to see Jess, and... drum roll please,” she instructed T.J. who finally let up his hold on her hand in order to make the drum rolling sound on the edge of the table. “We’re getting married!”

Luke really did not know what to say to that.

* * *

“You okay?”

Rory really didn’t know how to answer that question. In the sense that she was comfortable and happy, she supposed the answer was yes, she was okay, but that word simply was not going to cut it right now. She wished she knew a way of explaining that, but right now her vocabulary had abandoned her, along with the use of her legs, she suspected. Lucky she wasn’t required to move for a while. Honestly, in this moment, she felt as if she would be happy enough to lie here in Jess’ arms forever.

“Better than okay,” she said with a contended sigh, curling further into his embrace.

Jess kissed the top of her head and happily held her tight. Better than okay was about the best he could come up with for how he was feeling too, though it didn’t begin to properly explain. He wondered if words ever could.

“You’re not... I mean, the first time for girls...” he muttered, not sure where to begin.

Rory took pity on him. “I’m fine, I promise,” she told him, her hand at his cheek making him meet her eyes.

Jess nodded that he understood, turned his head to kiss her palm and the inside of her wrist. She was amazing, he had always known it, and she never failed to prove it to him, time and again.

“Y’know, I had certain ideas about what this was going to be like,” said Rory then, smiling even as a blush rose in her cheeks.

“What’s the verdict?” asked Jess, though he was almost afraid to hear it in some ways.

“I’m certainly not going to say no to an encore in the not-too-distant future,” she admitted, ducking her head even as the words left her lips. “Mostly, I... I’m just really glad it was you,” she said then, meeting his gaze once again. “I never felt like this about anybody else, Jess. I don’t think I ever could.”

“I know what you mean,” he said softly, kissing her cheek and then her lips. “Thank you,” he whispered into the kiss.

“What for?” she asked curiously.

Jess shook his head slightly against the pillows.

“For being Rory Gilmore,” he told her, pulling her so close she went entirely out of focus.

She was torn between laughing and happy over-emotional tears when he kissed her again, and the world faded into a beautiful blur one more time.

* * *

“It’s official!”

Luke was confused by the greeting when he answered the phone, not lease because it was getting late and he had sort have been anticipating ‘hello’ rather than other words of any kind.

“Lorelai?” he checked, already pretty sure it was her. “What’s official?”

“Er, the crazy that apparently happens when you open an inn!” she explained. “Oh my God, Luke, I’m a horrible person. I’ve been working everybody into the ground. I have Sookie and Michel collating menus that are giving them paper cuts and hand cramps, I’ve given myself the impossible task of hand-stitching a dragonfly onto every single pillow case that we have, and now Jackson is sleeping with the zucchinis!”

“Wow, okay,” said Luke, shaking his head to try to cope with all the information he just received in the last thirty seconds, and it was a lot! “Okay, first off, you are not a horrible person,” he insisted. “Second, I did try to tell you that you were taking on just a little too much for three people, and third... Tell me again what Jackson is doing?”

“Sleeping with the zucchini,” Lorelai repeated. “And before you ask, no that’s not a euphemism or a joke or anything.” 

“But, that’s not normal, right?”

“Probably not” Lorelai sighed heavily. “Luke, what have I done? What have I driven myself and those closest to me to do?”

“Apparently to hunker down with the vegetables.”

“Not helping.”

“You want me to go over and tell him not to sleep with the zucchini? And that’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear myself say.”

“No. No, I’ll go. I just... I felt so bad when Sookie told me, I kind of bolted. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or to cry. I basically just came and hid in my room and called you. You help. Just hearing you telling me I’m not horrible helped a lot.”

Luke smiled at that, even though she couldn’t see.

“Happy to help,” he assured her. “You sure you don’t need me for anything else?”

“Unless you really want to meet us at Jackson’s place. I mean, I don’t know how attached he is to the idea of spooning his veggies. It might take the four of us to prise him away.”

That made no sense and they both knew it. Fortunately, Luke knew Lorelai well enough to be sure of what it was she did mean to say.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he promised.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

In spite of everything, Lorelai was smiling when she hung up the phone.


	23. Chapter 23

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” said Rory, grinning wide as she reached for the coffee Jess had brought in.

“Never get tired of hearing it,” he promised, joining her under the covers and kissing her cheek. “Never get tired of this either,” he admitted as she carefully curled into his side, mindful not to spill her coffee or the drink in his hands either.

“It is pretty good.”

It was over a week now since she first spent the night here, and in the ten nights that followed Rory had barely seen the dorm room at Yale. When she wasn’t in class or studying at the library she was visiting with Jess, and much of their time had been spent in his bedroom. Rory did not at all object to that, in fact, she had to admit she had instigated quite a bit of the physical activity. Jess was teasing her about that just yesterday, something about her only wanting him for his body, but she didn’t care because she knew he was kidding. What they had was amazing, both physically and in every other way too. She was more than okay with that.

“So, I was thinking,” said Jess, moving to put his mug down on the night stand. “And I don’t want to freak you out or anything, because this is not a big deal.”

“Okay,” said Rory, looking just a little spooked, putting her mug down safely too. “Honestly? There’s nothing that says ‘big deal’ more than a person saying something is not a big deal.”

“Well, it could be, depending on your point of view,” Jess considered.

Rory still looked bemused and he didn’t wonder at it. Somehow he could be a perfectly articulate person a not small part of the time, but still when it came to anything serious with Rory he tended to get tongue tied. It mattered too much to screw it up, and somehow Jess just always expected to make a mess of this relationship. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have form for that anyway.

“Okay,” he said after another moment, reaching into a drawer and producing a small metal item that he quickly pressed into Rory’s palm.

Confused, she looked down to see what she had received, eyes going wide when she finally saw it.

“A key,” she said, glancing up to meet his eyes. “Jess, is this...? Is this a key to your apartment?”

“I just thought that if you needed a place to crash or to study, when Paris is making you crazy or whatever,” he explained, looking everywhere but at her. “Because when I’m here it’s no big deal, but when I’m in Stars Hollow, working or whatever, you might need to let yourself in. Now, you can.”

He ended just a little more certainly than he began, and yet still looked weirdly nervous. Rory couldn’t believe how sweet he was being, and how worried he seemed to be about it. It was incredibly special and she loved it, she loved him.

“Oh, Jess!” she said happily, all but throwing herself at him as she kissed him long and hard on the lips.

“Well, that was a better reaction than I thought,” he said when they parted, her body almost entirely on top of his by now. “Who knew you could excite a woman this much with a key?” he joked, tucking Rory’s hair behind her ear.

“Who said it was the key that was exciting me?” she said with a less than innocent look, shifting her body.

Jess had the key out of her hand and out of harm’s way a second before he flipped her onto her back, ensuring she knew all the good reasons why she should continue to visit his apartment, and as often as she wanted. Rory wasn’t arguing, not even a little bit.

* * *

“Y’know you’re a real life saver, Luke,” said Liz with genuine enthusiasm. “I don’t know how this wedding would ever be happenin’ without you.”

“It’s nothing,” he told her, waving away her gratitude. “Just a little food and some decorations. No big deal.”

The truth was that there was significantly more to it than that, but Luke just didn’t want a fuss made. Honestly, he was happy Liz was getting married if that was what she wanted, but he didn’t really hold out much hope of it lasting. If anything, he just wanted to get this event done and move on. Liz and T.J. would go back out on their Ren Fayre circuit with their wacky friends, and life would return to normal for a while.

Having Liz around was all fine for Luke, but he knew Jess wasn’t thrilled by her presence. Mother and son got along a whole lot better at distance than in close confines. Luke was only glad for his nephew that he had moved out to his own place when he did and wasn’t right upstairs where Liz could bug him all of the time. That was definitely a positive thing for everyone.

The phone ringing took Luke’s attention then, though he had his hands full and was unable to pick up. Liz rushed around the counter to assist but instead of taking the plates from her brother’s hands she answered his phone instead, which didn’t thrill him.

“Hey, Lorelai!” she said cheerfully. “Sure, Luke is right here, but he kind of has his hands full. Yeah, I’ll tell him, no problem, hon.”

Luke looked pained about his sister taking a message for him from his girlfriend, and yet there didn’t really seem to be anything he could do about it. He stared expectantly at Liz the moment she got off the phone waiting for her to explain.

“Everything’s fine,” she insisted. “Lorelai just wanted to let you know she’s still coming over for dinner tonight but she may be a little late. Something about the contractors at the inn.”

Luke nodded that he understood and then shooed Liz back out from behind the counter so he could serve his customers. He wasn’t thrilled to know that Lorelai was having more problems at the Dragonfly. She had gone through quite enough lately, in his opinion, though she had calmed down a lot in the past couple of weeks. That night when they had to go talk Jackson out of the zucchini patch had led to all five of them - Luke, Lorelai, Sookie, Jackson, and Michel - falling asleep at the produce place, and waking to realise it was the best night’s sleep any of them had had in a very long time. Lorelai started re-evaluating things then, Sookie too, and everybody involved in the setting up of the new inn seemed to find renewed energy and a better sense of what was important. Luke was glad, not least because Lorelai was way less stressed. That led to her making a little more time for him, which was in no way a bad thing. It had taken long enough for the two of them to get it together, there was no way he wanted to have everything go south so quickly.

“Y’know you get this special kind of smile on your face when you think about her,” said Liz, annoyingly perky and probably completely correct in what she said - Luke hated that.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he told her anyway.

Liz laughed. “You do too! Face it, big brother, you and Lorelai are just perfect for each other. She makes you happy, you make her happy. The moment I met her and I saw the way she looked at you, the way you looked at her... I’d say I wish I could have that, but I already got it,” she said with a happy sigh. “I finally found the one, Luke!”

“Then I’m happy for you, Liz,” he promised her, even though he wasn’t entirely convinced.

Maybe she was right about him and Lorelai, Luke sure hoped so, because there was no doubt in his mind that Lorelai definitely was the one for him. Unfortunately, it was harder to be convinced by Liz that any guy she brought home as her latest find was her one true love. She had just said it way too many times, at one time about Jimmy Mariano, and that sure as hell hadn’t turned out well.

“Y’know, I know you said it’s early days yet, but I seriously think you two could be the next ones down the aisle.”

“Please!” Luke scoffed at the very idea. “Jess and Rory have been dating longer than me and Lorelai, and don’t you dare start telling them they ought to be picking out a ring.”

“As if!” Liz rolled her eyes dramatically. “Although, I never saw my baby boy look at another girl the way he looks at Rory. She’s a special one, just like her mom.”

That at least Luke had to agree with. There was no better person for Jess than Rory, and no better match for Luke himself than Lorelai. If one day it could work out for both couples to make that kind of commitment, he would be more than thrilled, but that was a long way off in the future, he suspected.

“For now, how about we just concentrate on getting you married off?” he told Liz with a smile that didn’t take much forcing right now.

“Sounds like a plan.”

* * *

“My coffee is cold,” said Rory sadly when she reached for the mug on the nightstand.

“As much as you love your java, I’m going to be offended if you say that wasn’t worth sacrificing a cup of coffee for,” Jess told her, kissing her shoulder.

“More than worth it,” she promised, turning into his arms and kissing him soundly.

“Quite the compliment.”

“Well, you’re quite a guy,” Rory grinned, sparing Jess one more kiss before she moved to get out of bed.

“You really can’t wait for another caffeine fix?” he complained at her leaving him.

“It’s not that, Jess, you know I have to go,” she insisted, getting back into her underwear and then the rest of her clothes.

Jess was not at all adverse to watching from his place in the bed, even if he did think the reverse strip tease was a bit of a let-down compared to the more traditional way. He did know she had to go, but that didn’t mean he was happy about it.

“You really have to study today? I’m not due at work until late, I thought you could stay a while longer?”

“Really can’t, sorry,” said Rory, even as she searched high and low for her missing shoe - she definitely came here wearing a pair! “Jess, you know how important my finals are, and I’m not going to have time tomorrow. I have classes and then Friday Night Dinner.”

Jess sighed and threw off the covers, deciding if she really wasn’t coming back to bed he may as well get up too. After all, it was kind of sad to be in bed on a Thursday afternoon without his girlfriend. Sliding into his jeans, he spotted Rory’s missing shoe under the edge of the bed and leant down to retrieve it. She came back from the living room just in time for him to toss it into her hands.

“Thanks,” she said, sitting down on the end of the bed to put it on. “Y’know if you have nothing else to do, you could go over to the Hollow anyway, maybe give Luke a hand? Mom mentioned he was almost as busy as she was with the whole wedding thing going on.”

Rory knew she probably wasn’t going to get the best of reactions from Jess when she brought up Liz’s wedding. Honestly, it wasn’t that she didn’t understand why, but she meant what she said about helping Luke. She had no great love for Jess’ mother, but his uncle was one of the best people she knew. The last thing Rory wanted was for Luke to be working himself into the ground or stressing himself out, especially after he was so instrumental in stopping the very same thing from happening to Lorelai recently.

“I still don’t get why he’s even bothering,” said Jess dropping down to sit beside her. “Liz gets married on a semi-regular basis, it’s not like it’s really a special occasion.”

Rory leant in closer and kissed his cheek, putting her arms around him. Her chin rested on his shoulder as she looked at him.

“I know you and your mom don’t have the best relationship,” she said, letting it slide when Jess made a scoffing sound at how much of an understatement that really was, “but don’t take that out on Luke. Please? Trust me, I more than get why you’re not Liz’s biggest fan, I really do, but I also know that you can be the bigger man here.”

It was only after the words were out there that Rory realised they could be made suggestive. The fact that Jess didn’t seem to notice, especially here and now after their recent activities, just proved how serious the topic was for him.

“Sometimes I wonder how I lived so long without you and didn’t go insane,” he said, his hand at her cheek and a smile playing at his lips.

“I’m sorry, you’re looking at me to keep you sane? Because I think you’ve got the wrong girl, mister,” she joked, smiling back at him.

“Nope, no chance of that,” said Jess, serious in a second as he kissed her softly on the lips. “Go on, scram already,” he told her then. “You stay any longer and I’m not gonna want to let you go.”

“And I have that studying to do,” she said, nodding her head, even as she gave serious consideration to putting it off until later. “Remind me again why I need to do that?”

“Because even the genius Rory Gilmore can’t pass her finals without at least trying to cram for a while first,” he reminded her. “Tomorrow is full of classes and the great Friday Night Dinner, remember?”

“Yes, I do,” she said, sighing heavily.

Getting up from the bed, Rory tucked her shirt into her pants and then went looking for her purse. Jess got up, grabbed the key he had given to her from the nightstand and brought it out to her in the living room.

“You forgot something,” he told her, handing it over.

Rory smiled widely as she took the key and put it safely onto the chain with her others. There was no way she wanted to lose it. She thanked Jess one more time, both with words and a good long kiss, and then she repeated how she really did have to leave.

“I’d say give my regards to the grandparents tomorrow night, but I’m guessing they still don’t know we’re back together yet,” said Jess as she headed for the door.

“They don’t,” Rory admitted, looking just a little shame-faced about it. “But it’s not how it sounds, Jess, I swear. I would’ve told them last week, but they’re still digesting the Luke and Lorelai relationship right now. I promise, it’s not because it’s you. I mean, yeah, after the last time, it is a little awkward to explain, especially to Grandma, but I am in no way ashamed of you or regretting us being back together, I swear.”

“Hey, it’s fine. I get it,” Jess promised her with a smile that she was sure was genuine. “Rory, just go,” he urged her when she hovered by the door too long. “It really is fine.”

It wasn’t entirely fine. Rory knew she should just tell Emily and Richard that she was back with Jess, that she was happier than she had been in a long time, and then they would just have to deal, whether they liked it or not. It also wasn’t easy to walk away from Jess when he was standing there looking so good, wearing nothing but his jeans and a half a smile.

Coming back over to him, Rory wrapped her arms around Jess’ neck and kissed him soundly one more time. He wasted no time in reciprocating, but he knew she wasn’t staying, he knew he couldn’t let her.

“Study hard,” he told her when they parted.

“Always,” she said with a smile before she finally left the apartment.

Jess watched her go with a grin that wouldn’t shift. It wasn’t like she was gone for good, and now she had a key for whenever she wanted to get back in.


	24. Chapter 24

The last of Rory’s finals was complete. She had texted her mom to tell her she would be home soon and then followed up with a message to Jess. Now she was alone in her dorm, packing and taping up the last of her boxes in preparation to leave Yale for the Summer.

First year done. It seemed like she had only just begun, and at the same time, as if she had been here forever. Rory smiled as she glanced around the room that she had shared with Paris, Janet, and Tanna since September. Happy memories, good times. There was no part of her that regretted choosing Yale over Harvard. Being miles and miles away from her mom, her grandparents, Lane, Luke, and even Paris, it would’ve been so hard, and in the end, Rory couldn’t think she would have really benefited from a better education. Yale was great, she liked it a lot, and it really was good to be so close to home.

Jess was another reason that Rory was glad she stayed in Connecticut. To think that if she had gone off to Harvard, she might not have been around when he came back for his car a few months ago. They might have missed their chance, again, and that would be awful. Rory couldn’t imagine it and she didn’t care to. She picked up the cup from the shelf and took a sip, trying not to wince at the taste. All the alcohol left over on their floor had been mixed together and divided up amongst everybody. Rory wasn’t sure why she was actually drinking it. It just seemed like the thing to do.

“Hello, Rory.”

She almost spat her mouthful back into the cup when she heard the voice behind her. Putting her drink down, she turned around fast and painted on a smile.

“Hey, Grandma. What are you doing here?”

Rory had a hand near her mouth when she spoke, and very carefully turned her face away when Emily came into the room to give her a hug.

“Well, I was thinking about what you said last night at dinner about your last final being today. I just thought it might be nice for you to have a friendly face to greet you when you got out of that exam.”

“Thank you, that’s really great of you, but...” Rory’s voice trailed away when she noticed another person hovering in the doorway. “Um, can I help you?”

“Oh no, you don’t need to help him, he’s here to help you,” said Emily, gesturing for the mystery man to come on in. “Rory, I’d like you to meet Graham.”

Rory was sure she was blushing throughout the entire introduction, feeling more than a little awkward as Graham shook her hand and grinned big. This was a set up. They were all very aware of that, even if nobody was coming out and saying it. The problem was, out of the three of them, only Rory knew this was a fruitless endeavour. Certain as she was that Graham was a really nice guy, and honestly, he wasn’t bad looking either, Rory had a boyfriend. Jess was the man she loved, and having her grandmother throw another guy at her in the hopes of making a match would have been pretty embarrassing even if she wasn’t already involved with somebody else. Right now it was all but mortifying.

“So, I was thinking that Graham could help you get all your boxes packed up and then you could join him and his friends on their little excursion tonight,” said Emily with a smile. “Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

“Um...” Rory begun, unsure how best to politely decline the offer without offending either her grandmother or the new guy.

“I don’t mind helping out,” Graham insisted, picking up the tape gun. “And you really would be more than welcome to come out with us tonight. It’s just a few drinks, nothing fancy, but the more, the merrier.”

“That’s very sweet, and thank you, really, I appreciate the offer... the two offers, the help and the drinks,” Rory explained, pushing her hair back behind her ear in a nervous gesture. “It’s just that...”

“Knock, knock!” said a voice by the open door, the owner of which looked a little startled to find more than just Rory in the dorm room. “Huh.”

“Jess, hey” said Rory, rushing to his side. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought you might need a little help with your boxes,” he said, eyes on Emily and Graham even as he spoke to Rory. “Seems like you already have a whole army of helpers.”

Grabbing his hand, Rory dragged Jess into the room, smiling too much as she faced her grandmother’s disapproving glare.

“Grandma, you remember Jess.”

“How could I forget?” she replied acidly.

“Mrs Gilmore,” he said, nodding once and trying for a smile that didn’t quite happen.

The next second he was eyeing Graham with distaste again. Rory’s grip on his hand tightened some more. As if this situation needed any more awkward.

“This is a little embarrassing,” she said, shifting from foot to foot. “You see, last night at dinner, I really should’ve told you about Jess,” she said to Emily. “He, er, he came back to Stars Hollow a while ago and, well, it’s more of a recent development, but we figured things out and we got back together.”

Rory could hardly look at her grandmother, but she knew there was a sneer on her lips. She never really liked Jess in the first place, especially after the whole black eye incident. Now add to that the fact she was lacking important information about Rory’s life, plus the embarrassment of having tried to set Rory up with a guy when she was already dating another, it really was an awful mess.

“Oh, okay” said Graham, looking just a little bemused. “I’m sorry, man, I wasn’t trying to step on your toes,” he told Jess. “Just a misunderstanding, right?”

“Sure,” said Jess, shaking the hand he was offered and watching the mystery man walk away. “Dean 2.0?” he asked Rory in a muttered tone.

“Kind of,” she admitted, before giving her attention back to Emily. “I’m so sorry, Grandma. I really should have told you sooner, about Jess I mean, but it was still very sweet of you to come over to see me today, and to bring me a friend in case I needed one.”

“Yes, well,” she said, putting her nose in the air. “Now I see you don’t need anything else, I should be getting home. I’ll see you next Friday, Rory.”

Before her granddaughter could hardly reply, Mrs Gilmore had swept out of the room. Jess bit back a smirk.

“Well, that went better than the last time we were in the same room. I mean, at least I don’t have the black eye this time.”

Rory laughed. She couldn’t help it. She should be mad at him for being all smart alecky and mortified by what just happened with her grandma and Graham. Actually she just found it way too amusing. She turned into Jess’ embrace, her forehead against his shoulder as she shook with laughter. He was just a little confused by the reaction.

“Are you drunk?” he asked, sure he could smell liquor and knowing damn well this was not how Rory usually behaved.

“Maybe a little,” she admitted, picking her head up to look at him. “Mostly I’m just happy,” she said, planting a kiss on his lips.

Before he had a chance to ask more about the alcohol on her breath, Rory reached for the hidden paper cup and offered him a taste. Jess took a sip and made a face.

“That’s just wrong.”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” said Rory. “Sometimes things that seem wrong to begin with turn out pretty good in the end.”

Somehow Jess didn’t think they were talking about booze anymore.

“So this is how it is? You’re a philosophical drunk?”

“I don’t know.” Rory giggled some, arms locking around his neck. “Right now, I’m just happy. Happy you’re here, happy that I’m done with finals!” she practically yelled, almost deafening Jess in the process, though he didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Happy that I came to take you home?”

“Yes, very happy about that,” she assured him. “And we should get moving. I don’t want to be late for your mom’s wedding, and the guy giving the bride away certainly can’t be late either.”

She was out of his arms in a second, and that wasn’t the only reason Jess felt cold. He really wasn’t looking forward to this afternoon. Liz being in Stars Hollow at all completely threw him off. He was so glad he got his apartment in New Haven before she showed up, otherwise he would’ve been stuck in pretty close quarters the last few days, and that might’ve driven him completely crazy! As it was, it really hadn’t been too bad. He hadn’t seen so much of Liz and the first time he had to face her, Rory had been with him. It helped having her there, she deflected some of the attention for one thing, plus he had told her as much of his history with his mother as seemed relevant. Rory was just about the only person on the planet he could stand to be that honest with. The only woman he had ever loved like this.

“Jess?” she said when she caught him staring at her. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he told her, nodding his head. “I’m good. Er, I’ll make a start on putting the boxes in the car.”

Rory watched him go, one of the heavier boxes in his arms. She might be worried about his going quiet on her, but she wasn’t because when she caught him in a stare at least he had been smiling. He did that a lot lately, and Rory didn’t mind it at all, especially when those looks were being aimed at her. She thought a lot about how happy Jess made her, but it was just as nice to realise how happy she seemed to be making him.

* * *

“See, now, if you had looked like this when my grandma saw you this morning, she might’ve been a little less sneery,” said Rory with a grin.

Here in the circle of Jess’ arms, dancing at his mother’s latest wedding, it was easy to laugh and make jokes. Before the actual ceremony it hadn’t been quite so simple. The dress got torn, Luke got antsy, and Jess had a terrible urge to bolt from the scene. In the end, they got the job done. Jess cleaned up as well as Rory knew he could, walked Liz down the outdoors-aisle, and the Ren Fayre wedding had gone off without a hitch, but not without a giggle.

“And if the great Emily Gilmore had seen this wedding, her eyes would’ve popped clean out of her head!” Jess declared, smiling just the same because it was impossible not to in the circumstances. “Seriously? The singing priest, the sword planting, and T.J. talking about nothing but all the advantages to tights? This whole event is the biggest freak show this freak show town ever put on!”

“You can make fun all you want, and I can’t blame you for that or say you’re wrong,” Rory admitted, “but I honestly think it’s all kind of perfect. I mean, your mom is... non-traditional, and her friends are a little eccentric, but look how happy everybody is. You gotta admit, it’s been an okay kind of a day.”

Jess followed her gaze as they continued to slow dance across the floor. There really were a lot of smiling faces in the square tonight. His mom looked like a giddy teen, and T.J. was grinning like an idiot as he twirled her around and around. All the guests looked happy, and maybe none so much as Luke and Lorelai.

“Gotta say, I don’t hate seeing those two happy,” he admitted, nodding his head in their general direction. “Luke’s a good guy, he deserves to be happy. Your mom too.”

Rory smiled wide at that. “You softy,” she told him, not even caring when Jess pretended to be affronted by that.

“You tell anybody else that and there’ll be trouble.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” she promised, as he kissed her lips. “It’s all working out so well. Mrs Kim seems to be adjusting to Lane living with the guys; the Dragonfly is almost ready for its practice run; Mom and Luke are so happy. Plus I don’t hate being free for the Summer now.”

“You got plans at all?” asked Jess, spinning her around.

“Nothing specific,” she said, giggling as she got dizzy from all the turns. “Except for spending time with you, obviously.”

“I think I could pencil you into my schedule,” he joked. “I mean, now I have those shifts at the bookstore too, I’m going to be pretty busy.”

“Andrew’s not a tyrant, any more than Luke is,” Rory pointed out. “You’ll have free time. Besides, even if you work all day, both the store and the diner are closed at night.”

As the music ended, Jess pulled Rory impossibly close. “Sometimes I think you’re just using me for my body, Miss Gilmore.”

“Of course not,” she insisted, looking almost too serious. “I’m after your book collection too.”

He was laughing when he kissed her then, and she took no convincing to respond in kind. Maybe this wasn’t their wedding, it was way too soon for that kind of talk between them, but there was no doubting that Rory and Jess were entirely committed to each other now. Nothing was splitting them apart this time, not a chance.

“Aaaw, cute!” said Lorelai as she looked across at her daughter and Jess. “Luke, look! Cute!”

“Aaw, jeez,” he complained when he realised what he had been made to look at.

“C’mon! You gotta at least be a little happy for them,” Lorelai complained. “They’re happy for us.”

“Of course I’m happy for them, and for us,” he said definitely, lifting Lorelai’s hand that was clasped in his own and kissing it firmly. “Honestly? I’m amazed it hasn’t got screwed up yet. I mean, I love Jess, you know I do, but he’s not the best at... at saying what he feels or doing the right thing, especially with Rory.”

“Hey, his uncle isn’t so great with the communication either,” she pointed out with a look that soon melted into a smile, “but you guys got there in the end, and you were worth the wait.”

“You too,” said Luke with a grin he couldn’t help, as Lorelai leaned in and their lips met in a sweet kiss. “I love you, Lorelai. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know that.” she promised, removing her lipstick from his lower lip with her thumb. “And I love you too. Always.”

“Hey, we’re going to head out,” said Jess as he appeared by the table, Rory’s hand held tight in his own. “Rory’s tired.”

“I’ll bet she is,” said Lorelai with a look.

“Mom!” Rory gasped, looking scandalised, only going quite so red because they all knew the young couple were not going home to bed because they were sleepy!

“You’re gonna say goodbye to your mom before you leave, right?” Luke asked Jess.

“Already done” he said with a nod. “I’ll see you tomorrow”

They turned to go then, before Rory changed her mind and looked back.

“Oh, Mom? What time do you need me at the inn tomorrow? Now I’m done with school, I really wanna help any way I can.”

“Sweetie, you don’t have to spend your vacation helping me out with work,” Lorelai insisted, but Rory wouldn’t change her mind. “Okay, if you insist, but there’s no hurry. How about we meet at Luke’s for lunch and then head over to the Dragonfly after?”

“Sounds good,” her daughter agreed with a smile.

“They’re good kids.” Lorelai smiled, her head on Luke’s shoulder as she watched them walk away.

“Yes, they are,” Luke agreed, hugging her close.


	25. Chapter 25

“Y’know I really appreciate all your help this week, hon. I know you have much better things to do with your time than help Mommy with her inn.”

Rory wasn’t entirely paying attention to any significant look Lorelai was giving her when she spoke. They were at home, though if you walked in you probably wouldn’t have recognised any part of the house, from the living room to the kitchen. Every surface was menus, fliers, linens, and other various items that were ready for the inn, despite the fact the building was not yet ready for any of it! Rory’s focus was on the sorting and tidying they were here to do and not on her mother’s inflection when she said ‘better things to do’. That much was evident when she waved away Lorelai’s concerns.

“C’mon, what’s more important than helping you out in your time of need? I mean, look at all the times you were there for me, at exam times, and when I was freaking out about going to Yale, and so may other times I cannot even count. Besides, this inn is your dream, and why would I not want to be part of that?”

“Sweetheart, I love that you want to be a part of the Dragonfly, though just for the record, any dream world I’m living in, you are always a part of it, without question, capiche?” she said, turning Rory's head to look at her.

“I got it,” she promised.

“Good,” said Lorelai definitely. “But I was kind of being more specific about the things you would rather be doing than this stuff. I mean, it’s Summer break. You’re all young and in love. Maybe what I should have said was 'isn’t there a person you’d rather be doing?'” she said, one eyebrow raised.

“Eeew, Mom!” Rory threw a pillowcase right into Lorelai’s face. “God, that’s just... Eew!” she repeated.

“I’m sorry” Lorelai laughed, removing the linen from the face. “Nice shot by the way.”

Rory laughed too, because it was impossible not to, though she also knew she was turning beet red. It wasn’t as if they were going to pretend that she and Jess weren’t having sex. In point of fact, there had been a talk about it between Rory and Lorelai a while ago, about how she wasn’t sure if she was ready but she wanted to be. Lorelai had said much the same as Lane, that when the time was right, she would just know. After the fact, Rory mentioned it to her mom again, and though Lorelai had looked a little freaked at first, she handled it pretty well in the end. Now she liked to make jokes about the fact Rory would stay over at Jess’ apartment sometimes. Rory had to wonder if the humour was to hide the internal freak-out, though Lorelai denied it when she asked. The only serious talk on the subject had been after the first time.

“Okay, I have to ask two questions, and I’m very sorry if it’s embarrassing for you, hon, but that’s just the way it is,” she had said, holding up her fingers to count off the points. “Number one, very important, please tell me you used the appropriate protection.”

“Affirmative.” Rory had nodded firmly. “What’s number two?”

“Well, number two is... is probably not a question I should be asking in the circumstances because you’re my daughter, but it’s going to kill me not knowing, was it... okay?”

“Okay?” 

“Um, I mean, you... He was nice to you, and made it okay for you, or good for you? I’m not asking if it was good exactly, because there are some places even I don’t think this mother-daughter-but-also-best-friends relationship should go, but-”

“It was okay. He was very nice to me, and it was... good.”

“Good.”

The conversation had moved on to other topics then and the jokes had started soon after. Rory wasn’t sure how other mothers handled their daughter having sex for the first time, but that was how it happened in her house, and they both seemed to be okay with it.

“For your information, I do not dislike being with Jess, and I do plan on seeing him later,” Rory explained, refolding the pillowcase she had previously tossed at Lorelai and re-adding it to the neat pile on the table. “Between the diner and the book store, he’s working a lot, and y’know even if he weren’t, you are still a priority too. I can love my mother and my boyfriend, you know? It’s not a choice or a competition.”

“But if it were, Mommy would win,” said Lorelai, a statement not a question apparently so Rory didn’t feel the need to answer at all. “Well, the next job is to get all of this stuff into the storage boxes, and then-”

Lorelai was stopped from saying any more as a knocking started up on the front door. She put down the box she had only just picked up and carefully manoeuvred through the packed hall way to the door. She got a surprise when she opened it and saw who was on the porch.

“Hey, Jess,” she greeted him pleasantly. “You looking for Rory?”

“Kind of,” he said, as Lorelai ushered him inside. “I, er... She said she was helping you out with inn stuff today.”

“She is that, and there’s lots of it.”

“I see that.” Jess nodded as he looked around.

“Jess, what are you doing here?” asked Rory as she appeared from the kitchen and greeted him with a kiss.

“I got done at the bookstore, Luke doesn’t need me, I thought maybe you guys needed another pair of hands?” He looked from Rory to Lorelai and back, wondering why they were both staring at him in such a strange way. “Did I grow a second head on the way over here, or...?”

“No, Jess. We’re sorry,” said Lorelai definitely. “I’m totally grateful for any hands I can get right now, and yours are very welcome, my friend. How are you at packing and shifting boxes?”

“I worked in the Wal-Mart stockroom for six months,” he reminded her, pulling off his jacket. “Where do you want me?”

“Right this way.”

Lorelai headed off and Jess moved to follow. Rory stepped in his path and surprised him with a tight hug and real big kiss for good measure.

“What’s that for?” he asked, just a little bemused by the very pleasant moment.

“Nothing,” said Rory, grinning big. “Just for being you.”

Jess shook his head and rolled his eyes as he walked away, as if he had no idea why she was being so crazy. Rory knew he wasn’t so dumb. He knew very well how sweet he was being and why it made her so happy. If he didn’t want to say it, that was okay too. She was just very glad he was here.

* * *

It was a couple of hours later. Lorelai, Rory, and Jess had packed up everything for the inn into various carefully labelled plastic storage boxes, and now came the task of putting said boxes where they needed to be. With just five days to go until the weekend of the dry run, the contractors should be a little further along than they actually were. Lorelai was doing her best not to panic about it, but honestly, it didn’t come easy. Consequently, whilst some of the stuff they had been dealing with could actually go into the parts of the inn that were more or less ready, others were to be stored at Sookie’s and a few would be left at the Crap Shack.

“So, if I take this pile to Sook, could you guys get those two piles over to the Dragonfly? I will absolutely give you gas money.”

“Mom, we don’t want your money.”

“Well, hon, maybe you don’t, but Jess might.”

“It’s fine,” he assured her. “It’s not exactly far to go. Besides, I’m getting a free weekend in the place, right?”

“Yes, you are,” said Lorelai, grinning too wide. “Okay, boxes in the cars! Ready? Okay!” she added, making cheerleader type movements with her arms.  
In a second she had a box in her arms and was out the door before Rory could hardly blink. Jess shook his head, wondering what the hell just happened and then reached for a box of his own.

“She’s trying to be comfortable,” said Rory, picking up a lighter box herself. “My mom, with the whole you and me in the same bed thing.”

“I figured,” replied Jess. “Probably a little weird for her.”

“It’s a first anyway,” Rory considered. “She’s trying to be cool. I guess it has to feel strange though. Y’know when the kid you raised is adult enough to be doing that.”

“I guess,” Jess agreed. “Hey, don’t look so worried. I don’t exactly expect a girl’s mom to be overjoyed that I’m sleeping with her daughter. Lorelai would be a whole new level of crazy if she was doing cartwheels about our sex life.”

“Weird mental image. Not pleasant,” said Rory, making a face as she followed Jess outside.

Honestly, he was just doing his best not to laugh.

* * *

Lorelai had instructed Rory and Jess as to where the boxes they were dropping off needed to go. She had also called ahead to Tom so he was aware there would be two interlopers in his construction zone. Being a good contractor and a pretty stand-up guy, despite his usual grumpy demeanour, Tom sent a couple of guys out front to assist in the box hauling the moment he heard Rory and Jess pull up onto the driveway. Unfortunately, of the guys he could spare, one turned out to be a little too familiar.

“Dean,” said Rory, feeling a little surprised. “Hi. Er, how are you?”

“I’m good,” he told her with a smile. “It’s been a while. How’s Yale?”

“Yale’s good. I got done a few days ago. Freshman year all finished up, finals all good.”

“That’s... good,” he replied, feeling silly for over-using that word right along with her.

Rory laughed and he joined in, at least until Jess walked up to the scene with a box in his arms. He dumped said box unceremoniously onto Dean, who grabbed it more by instinct than design.

“This one goes in the dining room. I got three more that goes with it,” he said shortly.

“I don’t take orders from you,” Dean snapped.

“No, but you take orders from Tom, who takes direction from Lorelai. These instructions come from Lorelai, so move your ass, Hammer Boy.”

“Jess!” Rory complained at his tone. “Just, come over here,” she urged him, pulling at his sleeve.

He was glaring at Dean the whole time, even as she got him back over towards the car. Dean went inside with the box he was carrying, followed by the other guy who had come out to help.

“What was that?” asked Rory.

“I don’t know, you’re the one that used to date him,” said Jess smartly.

Rory wasn't impressed by his attitude and it showed. "Seriously?"

“He just... That guy rubs me up the wrong way. Always has, always will.”

“And I used to understand why, but now? After everything? Jess, this is crazy,” Rory insisted. “You’re being crazy. I’m with you, because I love you. I thought we moved past all the stuff from before. I thought we forgave each other.”

“We did, we're fine,” he promised when she started to look distressed. “This isn’t about you, it’s about him.”

“So, Dean has done something to offend you that doesn’t involve me?”

Jess opened his mouth to explain but then closed it again fast. She had a point. Rory always had a point and most of the time it was entirely valid. The only reason to hate Dean was because he used to date Rory, and because he seemed to be the one she liked better and trusted more even when she was dating Jess. At this point, it would be pretty dumb of Jess to hold onto all that stuff from the past. Dean had a wife now, whether they got along or not, and Rory was his, in every possible sense of the word. She loved him and only him. Sometimes Jess had trouble holding onto that fact and truly believing in it, even though Rory told him and proved it to him so often.

“I’m sorry,” he said then, exhaling loudly. “I am, Rory, I’m just... I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” she assured him, her hands on his shoulders. “Jess, I do understand why your natural instinct is to dislike Dean, but he hasn’t done anything wrong, at least not recently. If you can forgive me and I can forgive you for everything that happened before, can’t you just at least ignore Dean and not over-react when he’s within three feet of either one of us?”

Jess considered what she was saying and then sighed. “Keep it to five feet or more and I probably can,” he conceded.

“Deal.” Rory giggled, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Now come on, we have boxes to move, and when we’re done, maybe we could head over to your place.”

“My place?” asked Jess, one eyebrow raised. “And why would you wanna go there?”

“Didn’t you offer to cook me dinner?”

“I did,” he recalled, though there had been nothing specific said about tonight in particular.

Rory smiled and pressed her body up close to his own, which Jess didn’t mind at all.

“Good, because I plan on paying lots of compliments to the chef,” she said, kissing him soundly.

“Let’s move these boxes,” said Jess the moment they parted.

Rory laughed and followed him in shifting the rest of their cargo into the inn at double-speed. It was nice to be helpful, and even nicer to get a reward at the end of it.


	26. Chapter 26

“I’m so nervous. Why am I so nervous?” asked Lorelai, quite literally flapping around at this point.

“Hey, take a breath,” Luke advised, gently taking a hold of her and making her focus. “It’s natural to be nervous, because this inn is a big deal for you, but it’s going to go great. You’re all set for this, Lorelai. You and Sookie, you’ve done an amazing job. You have nothing to worry about,” he promised her.

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” she said, calming down just a little.

“You may have mentioned it,” he agreed, smiling wide at the sound of those words anyway.

“I couldn’t have done this without you, Luke. Seriously. You and Rory and Jess, you’ve all been so amazing. This place is literally a dream come true for me and... and I just want this weekend to go well.”

“It will,” he said definitely, holding her close. “It already is. The guests are here, the doors are on the rooms. So far, so good, right?”

“Yes. So far, so good,” she echoed, breathing deeply. “It’s going to go fine. Maybe better than fine.”

“Exactly.” Luke nodded, kissing her temple as he hugged her.

Their sweet moment was unfortunately interrupted by the arrival of the two people guaranteed to damage Lorelai’s calm in a second.

“Mr and Mrs Gilmore!” Michel enthused as he greeted them.

Lorelai buried her face in Luke’ shoulder and he didn’t have to ask why.

“It’s fine,” he reiterated in a whisper, rubbing her back. “They’re here to support you, and if they say anything to upset you, I’ll stick Kirk on them.”

That at least got a laugh out of Lorelai, and one quick kiss set her up perfectly for facing her mom and dad. Richard and Emily were at least complimentary about the decor and seemed pleased that they got to test out the honeymoon suite for the duration of the weekend. Lorelai was just relieved to have them in the private separate room away from everybody else. She loved her parents dearly, but a little distance was always useful, especially when she was feeling stressed enough already.

“You’re the last to arrive,” she explained. “Everybody’s present and correct, so I guess the dry run has officially begun now.”

“Keep breathing,” Luke reminded her one more time when she seemed to have forgotten again. “You’re doing great.”

“Indeed you are, Lorelai,” Richard agreed. “Though I must say it is nice to see your young man supporting you like this. Being a business owner himself, I’m sure Luke is full of good advice.”

“I do my best, sir.”

“Richard, please. Sir makes me feel so old,” he insisted with a pleasant smile.

“I hardly think running a diner compares to running an inn, Richard,” said Emily sharply. “Though I’m sure Luke is doing his best to be useful.”

Luke bit his lip so hard he thought it was going to bleed. Lorelai’s hand on his arm reminded him why he was trying to hold in the words bubbling up his throat.

“Keep breathing,” she said, echoing his words with a smile she couldn’t help.

Thankfully both of them managed not to say anything they shouldn’t until after Emily and Richard had been escorted out to their suite by Michel.

“That woman is... She’s a snob, Lorelai!”

“Hey, preaching to the choir, babe,” she sympathised. “But I liked your plan about throwing Kirk at them when they get really bad. That might just work. My usual choice is to distract them with the wonder that is Rory, but she’s a little distracted herself this weekend.”

“She and Jess do seem to be joined at the hip lately,” said Luke.

“Dirty!” Lorelai declared.

“I didn’t mean... Ah, jeez!”

Lorelai laughed. “I know you didn’t, hon. Can’t deny it’s pretty accurate though.”

“Are you really okay with them being together?”

“I don’t know, Luke. I’m not sure I’d be thrilled knowing my baby girl was sleeping with anybody, and you know Jess and I never got along before, but it’s different now. The kid has grown up. He’s holding down two jobs, paying rent on an apartment, and he’s treating Rory way better than the last time,” Lorelai explained. “He’s making her happy, she’s making him happy. What’s not the like about that? Besides, they’re both over eighteen, and they’re being smart about precautions and all,” she said pointedly. “For as long as they want this, who are we to argue?”

Luke knew there was no argument to make. Certainly he was sure he hadn’t seen Jess or Rory this happy in a while. They belonged together, no matter how tough things had been before or how bad they had gotten. It sure seemed fixed up now, and Luke did at least trust them to be responsible when it came to not getting pregnant or something like that. He didn’t exactly hate having his nephew close by again either. Family always mattered a lot to Luke, and with Jess living in New Haven and working in Stars Hollow, he didn’t have to worry about him so much.

“I guess there is no arguing with those two being happy,” he conceded. “I mean, what more could we ask for, right?”

“Not much,” said Lorelai, leaning in to kiss his lips.

* * *

The weekend ran pretty smoothly. With Emily and Richard secreted away in their own room, they really didn’t get much chance to bug Lorelai. They only joined the others for dinner, and then they were quite deliberately seated amongst the likes of Miss Patty, Babette, and Taylor so they were well distracted.

Jess was most definitely on Lorelai’s side when it came to staying away from Emily at least, though he hadn’t minded so much when Richard made a point of meeting him and shaking his hand. Rory’s grandpa seemed like the decent kind, liked to talk about books, and was impressed that Jess could keep up with him.

“Well, at least I have one grandparent that likes you,” said Rory as they sat across from each other at a table for two in the corner of the dining room. “That’s not bad.”

“And Lorelai doesn’t hate me anymore either. Two out of three ain't bad.”

“Well said, Meat Loaf.” Rory grinned. “Y’know I was a little worried about this weekend, or not so much worried as nervous for Mom and for Sookie, but they really pulled it off. Everything worked out so well.”

“Most things do if you give them enough time,” said Jess knowingly.

Rory smiled wider, knowing just exactly what he meant. She leaned over the table to kiss him but hardly made contact before Lorelai appeared, looking a little agitated.

“Hon, I’m sorry, I need a favour,” she told her. “Could you maybe run over to the house and grab some CDs? Music is the one thing I forgot.”

“Sure, no problem.”

Rory got up, kissed Jess as she walked by and then headed out. Lorelai rushed back to whatever she had been doing before, and left Jess all by himself. He was okay with that actually, or he would have been if he hadn’t suddenly realised Emily Gilmore was approaching his table. He wondered if he could make an escape without her realising, but no such luck. All exits were blocked and she was right there at Rory’s empty seat before he had a chance to bolt.

“Er, Rory just went to run an errand-”

“I didn’t come over here to speak to my granddaughter,” said Emily, apparently letting Miss Manners go for a moment as she interrupted him without a care. “I think it’s about time you and I set some things straight, Jess,” she said, hands on the back of the chair.

“Be my guest,” he said, gesturing for her to sit, which she did.

Emily folded her hands on the table and looked him right in the eye.

“I think we both know that you are not the sort of young man I want my granddaughter to be seeing. Rory is a very special young woman, with a bright future ahead of her. I don’t want anything or anyone holding her back from that.”

“If you think that’s what I want to do, then you don’t know me at all,” said Jess, firm in his words but not at all rude.

“Yes, I think perhaps that is the problem here. I really don’t know you, do I? Now I have to say, you made an appalling first impression the day you came to dinner at my house last year. However, first impressions can be wrong. Certainly from what I’ve seen this weekend, and from what both Lorelai and Rory have said about you, there’s a good chance that you’re not quite the abominable thug I had considered you before.”

“High praise,” Jess muttered.

Emily pretended not to hear as she rose from her seat.

“I would like you to come to dinner, next Friday, with Rory and Lorelai. I intend to invite your uncle also,” she said, smoothing her skirt and barely looking at Jess at all. “I think perhaps it might be time we started again.”

“I’ll be there,” said Jess, however much it pained him to do so. “And, er, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry, about the last time.” 

Emily nodded once and walked away, returning to her husband who was in deep conversation with Miss Patty and seemed not to have even noticed his wife was ever gone. Jess looked around the rest of the dining room, at all the smiling faces and general hilarity. It was cool, but the crowd of folks and the absence of Rory made him want to bolt. Throwing his napkin on the table, he got up, circumvented the rest of the room and slipped out through the kitchen. He grabbed a beer from the fridge on the way, figuring it wouldn’t be missed.

Out back, the stars were shining and the air was fresh. Jess felt relieved to have escaped and figured he’d just take a walk around the building until Rory got back. He never expected anybody else to be out there, but as he rounded the side of the inn and hit the front porch he found a lonely figure on the steps.

“Lorelai?” he checked. “You okay?”

“Hey, Jess,” she said, smiling until she clocked the beer bottle.

Jess had the good grace to look a little awkward, especially when he experienced the same flashback as Lorelai must’ve been going through.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, waving a hand. “You wanna sit?”

“Sure,” he agreed, dropping down on the lower step to her left the moment she made a little room. “So, things have gone pretty good this weekend. I thought you’d be in there, basking in the glory.”

Lorelai smiled. “Basking is nice, but honestly? It’s all been a little intense. I just needed to breathe for a sec, y’know?”

“I get it,” Jess agreed, sipping his beer and watching the world go by a moment.

The companionable silence was broken by a sudden burst of laughter from Lorelai which certainly got Jess’ attention.

“I’m sorry,” she said, still chuckling. “I was just thinking, I never saw things turning out this way. I mean, think about it, a couple of years ago, Rory was with Dean, we didn’t even have the inn yet, Luke hadn’t even met Nicole, and we were all certain Rory was going to Harvard. Two years and everything has turned out so different. Hey, I don’t even hate you anymore!”

Jess smirked at that. “Same here,” he noted. “Not that I ever hated you exactly.”

“Really?” said Lorelai curiously. “I made your life pretty darn difficult where Rory was concerned, and there was a whole lot of bile coming out of you whenever I was around.”

“I was a messed up teenager, so sue me.” Jess shrugged. “Honestly? I think I was mostly just pissed that Rory got a mom like you and I didn’t. Y’know Liz was no worse off than you when she had me, but she always made every excuse for being a basket-case. You held it together, you did this amazing job of being a mom and a decent human being. If you could do it, then Liz could’ve done it, but she didn’t.”

Lorelai’s heart ached as she listened to him talk. There were things about Jess that she didn’t like, even now, but she had grown to understand why he had some of the issues that he did. It wasn’t all his fault, and at least he was trying now. She had to respect that.

“Y’know, Jess, you can’t really compare me and Rory to Liz and you. Every person, every situation, it’s different. Besides, you and me not getting along before was not all your fault,” she admitted, shaking her head. “When I looked at you, I saw a little bit of Rory’s father, but when I heard you talk, there was a whole lot of me coming out of you. The teenage rebellion, the whole question authority vibe, that was me at seventeen... and younger actually,” she considered. “It scared me, I’ll admit that, it really did scare me a whole lot, because I know how tough my life was back then, how crazy I could be. You liked Rory, and I could see her getting caught up in your mess. When Rory gets hurt, it kills me.”

“I know the feeling,” Jess said pointedly.

“I know you do.” Lorelai nodded. “That’s why I’m not scared anymore. You grew up, Jess. Rory did too. I think maybe you guys weren’t quite ready for each other the first time around. Now you are.”

“You’re probably right,” he agreed, just as the front door opened and Luke stepped out.

“What are you two doing out here?”

“That was going to be my question,” asked Rory as she appeared from the other direction, CDs in hand. “Is something wrong?”

“Why would anything be wrong, sweets?” asked Lorelai, smiling.

“I don’t know,” Rory admitted as Jess pulled her down to sit beside him.

Luke took the top step behind Lorelai and rested his hands on her shoulders.

“It’s going great in there,” he told her. “Everybody getting along and all. Of course when your dad and Miss Patty started duetting something from the old time musicals I had to make a run for it.”

“No!” Rory gasped, laughing out loud at the very idea. “I’m almost sorry I’m missing that!”

“We can go in if you want,” Jess offered, even though he wasn’t thrilled at the prospect.

Rory sighed and leaned in closer to him, letting her head drop onto his shoulder.

“Maybe in a little bit,” she considered, looking up at the moon and stars, revelling in the feeling of being so comfortable. “Here is good for now.”

“Not gonna argue with that, babe,” said Lorelai, snuggling into Luke’s embrace.

The guys shared a look over the girls’ heads and shifted into more comfortable positions. It didn’t seem like they would be going anywhere for a while yet, and that was fine by them.


End file.
